Knowing how to prepare real, whole foods is an absolutely necessary life skill that every child should learn. Children who are not taught the basics of food preparation will end up defaulting to processed, packaged foods, simply because they haven't learned to make anything better.

If we don't take the time to teach them, how will they ever learn?

I know that having little (dirty, mischievous) hands in the kitchen isn't always the easiest or most convenient thing. Kids make messes. The put in the wrong ingredients. Things get spilled. Eggs get dropped. You can sweep up more flour when you're finished than what was actually put into the recipe. It takes longer than if you just did it yourself.

It can also be incredibly rewarding. I've been letting both of my oldest children help mama in the kitchen since they were about 1 1/2 years old. Naturally, the "helping" looks different depending on their age and skill, but they love it nonetheless and I know that no matter how small, they are still learning valuable life skills alongside me.

I recently noticed that my 5 year old daughter has grown significantly in her ability to knead bread. She didn't really get the concept very well up until now and sort of played around with the dough, but today her motions were much smoother and more consistent. I praised her for this, and informed her that pretty soon I was going to be able to just ask her to make the bread for our family, instead of mama having to do it every time. She beamed proudly, and went back to kneading her own little portion of bread dough.

We all have frazzled moments where it's easier to do it ourselves than to invite our children into the process. I can often be guilty of this, whether it's because I'm frantically trying to get dinner on the table at 5:57 with a crying baby, or when I'm scrambling to make the house presentable before guests arrive.

My own stress and impatience cause me to undervalue what could be an opportunity to take my child under my wing and let them learn to help me. The results might not be perfect, but I have never regretted the moments when I have slowed down enough to invite them into the things that I am doing.

In what ways are you successfully training your children in cooking and homemaking skills? What are your weak areas?

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

More from Keeper of the Home

• Good in the Kitchen | Keeper of the Home
• Play it Again: Good in the Kitchen | Keeper of the Home
• Learning the Gentle Art of Infant Toilet Training | Keeper of the Home
• Organization in the Real Food Kitchen: Ferments Everywhere | Keeper of the Home

Image Credit

Guest Post by Louisa

I toilet-trained my first child when she was four-months-old. I thought I would start this guest post with a statement that knocks most people's socks off when they hear it. "Four months old, you are kidding, aren't you?" No, I kid you not.

I had worked extensively in China and seen what mothers did there; always aware of their children's needs, able to listen to the signs that told them when their child wanted to pee and available to help them achieve their own personal hygiene at a very early age, many from birth. In our age of disassociation from our babies, when we wrap them up, place them in prams and car seats and leave then in front of TVs for hours, it seems impossible to be in such harmony with our little ones, but it is absolutely possible and many, many, many people have done it before now.

After reading Jean Liedloff's Continuum Concept before giving birth and then the book Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygieneby Ingrid Bauer, I knew that I wanted to train my baby too, it just seemed the natural thing to do. So this is what I did and you can too, if that is what you decide.

I believe that diaper-free babies are eco-friendly, aware of their bodies at a young age, sociable and under no pressure to perform in any way. They must be 'responded to' from a very early age however, before the feeling of peeing in a diaper gets too natural for them. It all takes time, patience and devotion, something that has to be thought about very carefully indeed before embarking upon as you have to be 100% available. This doesn't mean sitting and watching your baby's every move, it means being there for her when she needs to tell you she wants to pee/poo.

It is very well worth it for the sake of the planet alone, but also for the deep and long-lasting connection you will be forging with your child.

Starting off simply is a good plan. Use one less diaper at night by leaving your baby free from the waist down after her bath in the evening and getting her to sleep on a thick towel. Babies will very rarely wet themselves whilst asleep and will benefit from air circulation around the parts that have been enclosed and wet all day. This I did with my baby and never had an accident in bed, nor diaper rash. It helps if you co-sleep with your baby, (but I figure if you have thought of infant training, then you have probably thought of co-sleeping too) so when she fidgets in her sleep, you can get her up and let her pee into her potty. Making quiet hissing sounds will encourage her to relieve herself straight away, then you may settle her down again.

This routine I was doing pretty soon after birth with my baby, I then graduated onto awareness of her needs during the day. Making the hissing sound whilst holding her in a comfortable position over her potty I found to be a key factor to my success - staying tuned to her cues also was crucial; a young baby will cry to be helped to pee/poo before she gives up and does it in her diaper. Be gentle, understanding and don't get stressed, if you miss it this time, you may very well get it next time, no problem! Having your baby wear diapers during the day is up to you, having the potty in view as the child learns to walk is also up to you. As a rule of thumb, your young baby will pee 20 minutes after drinking fluids, then approximately every half-hour thereafter and once or twice during the night.

This is the start of diaper-free babyhood and it happens like this all over the world. That is why Chinese children have splits in their pants with their bottoms showing and use the gutters regularly, I kid you not.

My first born was a happy, capable and contented baby, we taught her to make a sign for 'pee' long before she could talk and she seemed very capable at managing her own 'toilet matters' as she grew.

She laughs now at seven-years-old when I tell her what she could do at four months old and she thinks it is the most natural thing in the world too.

What do you think... is this an idea that appeals to you? I'd love to hear who else (this is Stephanie speaking now) is intrigued by this idea, and especially if anyone else has tried it!

Louisa has brought her children (7 and 4) up in a natural way, she lives in the mountains of France, home schools and follows the principles of Weston A.Price and Rudolph Steiner. Her first child was potty trained at four months old, both her girls co-slept with her and her husband and were carried until the age of one. She lives in a TV-free house. She believes that when a woman takes on the role of nourisher, (both physically and emotionally) she becomes both hearth and heart of her family. Read her slow-living blog at: constantstateofflux.com or find her on Twitter as @lululovesmilk.

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

More from Keeper of the Home

• Training Kids to Help in the Kitchen | Keeper of the Home
• Two questions for you, ladies! | Keeper of the Home
• Living Simple Saturdays- First time, all the time | Keeper of the Home
• A Trip to the ER | Keeper of the Home

This month I had the extreme pleasure of reviewing the book Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood, by Jamie C. Martin. The quote above is from the beginning of the book, setting the stage for an exploration of what it takes to be a professional mother.

There is one message that rings out strong and clear throughout the entirety of Steady Days and it is this... mothering requires intentionality. To maintain peace and order, we must be purposeful about how we achieve that. To maintain our enthusiasm, we must plan activities and encouragement into our days that inspire us. To capture memories and special moments with our children, we must have a plan for what we will do and how we will remember what we've enjoyed and experienced.

Over and over again, this one thought. To be successful in achieving my goals as a mother, I must be intentional. Purposeful. Prepared. Well-planned. Goal-oriented.

Let's face it. It can be easy to go on auto-pilot as a mom. Sometimes our days are so full and overwhelming that we just go with the flow, without being intentional about how we are spending these precious years with our children.

As a home educating mother, I make more of an effort to be intentional about how I educate my children, what learning resources I expose them to, how many books we read, etc.  And yet, throughout the rest of my day I can sometimes get so focused on other aspects of my roles as mother, wife, homemaker and more that I cease to be purposeful about all the other realms of my mothering.

If you can relate to what I'm saying, I think that you would be blessed by Steady Days. Jamie is encouraging and upbeat, and yet consistently challenging us to consider how we are doing things, what our motivations are, what could be changed, how we could grow as mothers.

Jamie reading to her 3 sweet children

A few other practical things I loved:

• Short, simple chapters. If bite-sized is what you need to make it through a book and really implement its strategies, then you will just love how Jamie has organized Steady Days into 40 short chapters.
• Steady Days Planner. This is Jamie's version of a homemaking binder, and she has so many wonderful suggestions for adding to it. A few that I was particularly inspired by were a Steady Blessings page (for recording our blessings, special moments, thoughts of gratefulness), Special Date Organizer, Shopping Lists, and Children's Goals. Many of the particular pages she discusses and shows throughout the book can actually be found on her website, at http://www.steadydays.com/resources.html.
• Room Time. A clever technique for achieving a bit of quiet time for Mom to get some things done, while each child plays/reads productively in their own space (no more sibling squabbles, at least for 20-30 minutes!). Love it!

Final thoughts: I really enjoyed this book and I know that I will reference it again and again. I love Jamie's encouragement to just implement new things or small changes bit by bit. For moms who are feeling overwhelmed and in need of someone to help you get more organized and intentional in your mothering, Steady Days is for you!

To get to know Jamie a little better and find more tips, strategies and thoughts for bringing steadiness and professionalism to your days, you can find her at her blog, Steady Mom.

Would you like to win a signed copy of Steady Days: A Journey Towards Intentional, Professional Motherhood?

Here's how:

(Please leave each entry as a SEPARATE comment, to ensure that they are all counted. Thanks for making my job easier!)

1. Tell me why you need to read this book, or a goal that you have for your mothering.
2. Visit Jamie's blog, Steady Mom, and leave a comment.
3. Subscribe to Steady Mom.
4. Follow her on twitter, @steadymom.
5. Subscribe to Keeper of the Home.
6. Follow me on twitter, @keeperhome.
7. Post about this giveaway on your own blog, and leave me the url.

Giveaway ends Friday, January 29th at 3:00pm. This giveaway has now finished.

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

More from Keeper of the Home

• The Handbook of Vintage Remedies: Review and Giveaway | Keeper of the Home
• Get More Organized This Holiday Season: ListPlanIt Review and Giveaway | Keeper of the Home
• The Last Great Giveaway | Keeper of the Home
• Your Turn to Get Organized with a Meal ePlanner! | Keeper of the Home

And you know, it is most of those things (well, quick and simple not so much). I love blogging, I really do. I love the people, the things I've learned, the opportunities it has presented me, the ways that I've been challenged and have grown.

There's something I love so much more than blogging, though. My family. My precious children, 2 little ones back when I started and now we're up to 3 with the addition of Johanna this summer. My incredible husband, who has been such an encourager and supporter of me throughout these years of big bloggy dreams. I really, really love my family.

We had a talk the other night, my hubby and I. We agreed that I've been stressed to the max, trying to sustain a constantly growing blog with growing responsibilities, care for my family, do all that needs to be done around the home, and support my husband (often caring for the children by myself from morning til night) through a particularly busy and demanding season of starting a new business. I am really struggling to maintain a professional-quality blog and all that it entails, while still being faithful to my more important priorities. I don't want to continue to be so tired and burnt out, and he doesn't want that for me either.

What makes it especially hard is that there seem to be many women out there who are managing to run busy blogs as well as busy households, and do it all with grace. I have seasons where I feel that I can do it to a degree and other seasons where it feels utterly overwhelming. I am asked so often in comments and by email how on earth I do all that I do. The simple truth is that it's very, very hard and I am one tired woman.

You might be wondering if this is a good-bye post and I'll put your questions to rest right now... no, I'm not going anywhere. Not quite yet, anyways.

I am making a change of pace, though. In the past several months, I've developed a growing vision for my blog and in a sense, a lot of ambition. Many things have been driving me to pursue more and bigger things with my site and as a blogger in general. I see other women doing it and I feel the need to keep up, to grow alongside of them, to continue improving my site and learning to do what I do in a more professional way.

I realized that something in me was starting to say, "My roles are not enough. I want more. I want to be somebody, do something, make something of myself." I didn't see it as being ugly at first, but now I do. It crept up slowly, little thoughts, little desires. Somehow it grew into a burden to maintain this career (because let's face it, when blogging requires this much of you, it's more than just a hobby), even though I knew it was at a cost to my most important of careers, that of being a mother, wife and homemaker.

A few weeks ago we were doing school time and my daughter needed to draw a picture of her mother doing something. I had warm fuzzy thoughts of her drawing me cooking or baking, something in the kitchen, where I spend so much of my time (and often with her by my side). Do you know what she drew? Mama at her computer. It still brings me to tears when I think of it.

I want my children's childhood to be full of memories of a mama who was by their side, playing with them, laughing with them, reading to them, cooking with and for them. Not a mama with a face glued to a computer screen.

I'm tired of trying to be a pro-blogger. I just want to be a pro-mom.

I want all of my energy, creativity and passion to flow into my home and into my relationships with the most important people in my life, and not into some career that won't mean a thing one day when I'm old and wishing I had spent more time with my children during these incredibly precious years that I can never get back.

So yes, I'm still blogging, but not at quite the breakneck speed of the past year or so. I'm toning things down. My book is the last big project that I will be tackling. No more major site changes. No pressure to be some spectacular blogger, who knows how to work social media and commands an impressive audience. Just me. A real mom, talking about things that matter to me. My subject matter won't change, but perhaps the amount of time I put into some of my posts will. If I need to take a day off because my family just really needs me then I will, rather than force myself to burn the midnight oil because there just wasn't time to blog during the day.

I don't really know how it will affect my blog or my traffic. Truth be told, I'm not sure that I care anymore and there's a real freedom in that. One day soon (nope, I'm not sure when), I will put all of this aside and put 100% of my energies into this precious family that God has given me and I won't look back.

I'll leave you with a quote that was brought to mind the other day as I was thinking through all of this, and being renewed in my passion for the glorious task that God has given me to care for my family and home, to support my husband and to love and train my children:

[W]hen people begin to talk about this domestic duty as not merely difficult but trivial and dreary, I simply give up the question. For I cannot with the utmost energy of imagination conceive what they mean. When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery, all the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge [at his work]. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give it up; I do not know what the words mean…. I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children [arithmetic], and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness."
G.K. Chesterton (bold mine)

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

More from Keeper of the Home

• How I “Do It All” | Keeper of the Home
• A Trip to the ER | Keeper of the Home
• Pregnancy Update: 32 Weeks | Keeper of the Home
• Waste Not, Want Not | Keeper of the Home

At long last, A Year of Herbs begins! Thanks to all who entered the herbal prints giveaway. The lucky winner is Kate (jknh78@), who will soon be receiving her choice of beautiful art prints from L.Herbert Designs!

Though I am eager to begin to study about individual herbs and their specific uses, my formal study of herbs has begun in a much more practical manner... finding and learning to use herbs that are helpful for both mother and baby in the early weeks and months after birth!

I've mentioned a couple of times that life has been particularly busy and stressful over the last month or so, just with some current circumstances, recovering from giving birth, and adjusting to life with a new (and fussy) baby in general and I have been feeling quite worn out as a result. In the midst of all this I was beginning to really struggle with my emotions-- sad and weepy one minute, angry and very irritable the next. I felt perpetually overwhelmed and like I was breaking a bit under the pressure of it all. In speaking with my husband and midwife, I recognized that what I was experiencing was the beginnings of post-partum depression.

I am so grateful to have realized this before things got any worse. My midwife encouraged me to discuss with my husband how I could find more times for rest and just ways to feel more like myself again and remove some of the stress I was feeling (which we did, and he was so supportive and loving to allow me to do that). She also gave me the go-ahead to do some research into herbs that I could try, that might assist my body in coping with the stress, bringing my hormones and emotions more under control, and just continuing to strengthen and rejuvenate my body so that I could better handle the demands that were on me.

I borrowed a book from the library called Natural Health after Birth by Aviva Jill Romm, a practicing midwife and herbalist. The focus of the book is on the post-partum period, a season of life that is often overlooked by most people, including new moms (and yes, especially me!). A wonderful aspect of the book is the use of herbal remedies to aid the mother's body in recovering physically and emotionally, as well as for increasing milk supply, helping fussy and colicky babies and more (though I can't recommend the book in it's entirety, as she is not a believer and there are some new age aspects of the book in some chapters). 

With the blessing of my midwife, I decided last week to put together one of the herbal tea mixes in the book, intended for helping with the symptoms of post-partum depression. Here is what I put together, partly from one of the book's specific recipes, and with some of my own substitutions (due to not being able to easily purchase all of the exact suggested herbs).

Keeping-Your-Balance Blend (slightly altered)

2 parts chamomile flowers (for relaxation)

2 parts nettle (for nutritive purposes, includes trace minerals and vitamins, to treat anemia, weakness and stabilize blood sugar. Also helpful for those feeling stressed and physically or emotionally drained)

2 parts peppermint (to energize and also soothe the nerves at the same time)

2 parts red raspberry leaves (rich in minerals, tonifying to the uterus, aids in balancing hormones, as well as adding a nice flavor to the tea)

1 part dandelion leaves (highly nutritive with trace minerals and iron)

I also added in:

2 parts catnip (a nervine herb, meant to relax and de-stress)

1 part yarrow (for reproductive organs and hormone balancing, immune boosting and digestion)

I mixed all of the dry herbs together in a glass jar and keep it on the counter with a measuring spoon. Whenever I want to make some, I boil some water and place 1 Tbsp of tea per cup of water into a french press. I let the kettle sit for a moment after turning it off so that it is no longer at a rolling boil (because this can damage the volatile oils in many herbs and reduce their effectiveness), then pour it over the herbs. With the lid on (but not pressed down), I let it sit and steep for 10-20 minutes before pressing it and pouring myself a mug. I aim to drink 2-4 cups of this tea a day.

**The original recipe did not include the catnip or yarrow, and also includes 2 parts of chrysanthemum flowers (for anger, stress and related emotions), oatstraw (nutritive, provides vigor and energy) and strawberry leaves (as a tonic and for nerves), and 1 part of both gingerroot (improves and stimulates circulation) and rose petals (relaxation, taste and possibly hormonal balancing). One substitute for oatstraw is to simply eat more oats, as they also contain most of the same qualities.

I am amazed at how much better I am feeling after only a week! Of course, it is not just the herbs. I have really been crying out to the Lord in prayer, playing worship music and meditating on Scripture truths, talking about how I'm doing with my husband and several friends, as well as just trying to take little breaks whenever I feel my emotions starting to rise up and become out of control.

I do feel, though, that the herbs I've been taking this past week have contributed to feeling much more calm and emotionally steady and more physically well than I did before. There have been many trying moments, but in general, I don't feel as overwhelmed as I did before and am more able to use self-control in how I respond to difficult situations.

As I've been reading and studying more about herbs lately, I've also been coming across some others that may be particularly useful for new mamas:

Nutritive (herbs with nourishing qualities, including protein, vitamins, minerals, etc.): Alfalfa, Ashwaganda, Gotu Kola, Hawthorn berries (and leaves and flowers), Milky oats (and oats in general), Nettle, , Red Raspberry leaf, Rose hips.

Nervines (herbs which support the nervous system, have a calming effect and help to relieve stress and tension): Ashwaganda, Catnip, Chamomile, Hops, Lavender, Lemon balm, Milky oats, Motherwort, Skullcap, Vervain

Galactagogues (herbs which support the nursing mother, particularly with maintaing an ample milk supply): Blessed thistle, Dandelion leaf, Fennel, Fenugreek, Nettle, Saw palmetto, Vervain, Vitex (this one is a little more controversial)

Herbs to AVOID while nursing:

Alkanet, Aloe Vera (externally is fine, but not internally), Aloes, Basil (as a food seasoning it's fine), Black Cohosh, Bladderwrack, Borage**, Bugleweed, Cascara sagrada (again, externally is fine), Chinese rhubarb, Coltsfoot, Comfrey**, Elecampane, Ephedra, Garlic (as with basil, fine for use as a food seasoning or ingredient), Joe Pye, Licorice, Male fern, Pugring buckthorn, Senna, Stillingia, Wormwood.

**I have seen conflicting information about comfrey and borage. Some books say they are fine, and even recommended for use as galactagogues. However, Romm suggests in Natural Health after Birth that they should not be used, though no specific reasons are given and I cannot seem to find any in my own research. I will have to continue to study, and so I can't really recommend them to you, one way or the other. Use your discernment in choosing whether to use them or not. 

I am currently also taking a herbal nursing tea, made by Rhea's Herbals Extractions (the products are great, but the site doesn't offer much information). I began taking it right after Johanna was born, to help establish a really solid milk supply, something which I struggled with a bit after Caden's birth for various reasons. It includes:

Red Raspberry, Chamomile, Lemon Grass, Borage Leaf, Fenugreek Seed, Star Anise, Marshmallow, Coriander, Fennel Seed, Galega. 

I have found that, despite feeling quite stressed and busy (usually not helpful for maintaining a good milk supply), I haven't really had any problems with having enough milk. There have been only a few days (and really, only one or two feeds on those days) where I felt it was a bit lacking, and I usually felt that was in response to me being too on-the-go, and not having had enough to eat and drink. 

For more great information on maintaining a good milk supply and a wonderful recipe for homemade mother's milk tea, check out this post. 

My next herb post will focus on some things that I have been learning about herbs for soothing the fussy, colicky or restless baby!

Has anyone else found herbs to be helpful in recovering after giving birth, for post-partum depression or for increasing milk supply? 

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

More from Keeper of the Home

• Herbs for the Fussy Baby | Keeper of the Home
• A Trip to the ER | Keeper of the Home
• Pregnancy Update: 32 Weeks | Keeper of the Home
• Healthy, Natural Pregnancy: Preparing for Labor | Keeper of the Home

*******

Guest Post by Katie

Moms wish only the very best for their kids: healthy meals, opportunities to try organized sports or music or art (or all of that and more), academic challenges and experiences, friends who stand by them, a deep and abiding faith, strong health, and joyful days. In seeking those goals and trying to find the time to balance everything, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that most kids just want their parents to love them and give them time. Parents are short on time these days, but that makes it all the more important to carve out special periods of time to spend just with the family. If you have more than one child, it’s important to spend quality one-on-one time with each child individually.

We’ve only been parents of two for a year, but already we see the joy and advantages of having “special time” with Mommy or Daddy.

Here are some ways we’ve gotten one-on-one time in our family:

With the baby…
Our daughter is just one, so her special time is mostly on the swings or cuddled in the rocking chair before bed.

With a toddler…
When my son was small, about 18 mos.-2 years old, if we weren’t going anywhere on a given day, I would make sure that we had “Special Time” mid-morning.

Special Time Guidelines:
• The child gets to choose any activity he/she wants, and (within safety and reason) the parent participates, even if “not in the mood”.
• Set the timer (we did 10 minutes, sometimes 15, at this age).
• The parent is not allowed to do anything but play during this time: no answering the phone, no folding laundry, no checking the to-do list or email.
• When the timer beeps, special time is over.
• Decide upon a way to “end” the time that can be a routine. For my son and me, we had a “Special Time hug and prayer”: “Thank you God for Mommy, Thank you God for Buddy Boy, Thank you God for Special Time. Amen.”
• Go your separate ways. You can come back to playing in 5 minutes, but try to do another task for a little while so Special Time is set apart from daily life.
• Special Time wasn’t in place of regular playing, and it didn’t mean that was the only time I spent one-on-one with my son at that age. It was just a time set apart.

Benefits of this system:
• Multi-taskers are forced to focus on what’s important: their child.
• Allowing the child to choose the activity gives you something productive and encouraging to say during the day: “I wonder what you’ll choose for your Special Time activity?” or “Mommy doesn’t want to do X right now, but hold that in your head for Special Time.”
• The child knows that they’ll get some positive, one-on-one attention every day and have something to look forward to on a normal day when you’re not going anywhere fun.
• The timer makes the ending clear to all participants, and Mommy doesn’t have to watch the clock; she can just enjoy playing.
This Special Time system was inspired by Dr. Harvey Karp’s The Happiest Toddler on the Block.

When balancing two children…
During Lent this year, I promised God I would give 10 minutes of “Special Time”, although not quite this systematic, with each of my kids. I had noticed (with sadness and guilt) that it was just too easy to get to the end of my day and realize that I hadn’t spent real one-on-one time with my daughter especially. She seemed to be just incorporated into play with the older child or into my cooking or cleaning. Special Time was a good routine to have. I modified it so that I just made sure each child got their 10 minutes of basic Mommy-time, and although I didn’t always set the timer, it was better if I did.

Daddy-Son time…
Before Lovey Girl was born, my husband and son would always have “boy night” when I went to my book club once a month. They cooked and ate dinner together, often in front of the TV, and played sports. It was a treasure that Buddy Boy truly mourned when his sister got too old to come with Mommy to the restaurants. We now make sure that “Boy Night” happens every so often. Here’s a great shot of the boys watching Scooby Doo and eating their dinners (that I got to witness because Lovey Girl and I just went for a walk and played downstairs to stay out of their way):

Mommy-Son time…

I know my son also misses time with just Mom, because he sure is eager to be near to me and doing something whenever his sister falls asleep. I had an opportunity to take him to a children’s production that our local symphony orchestra puts on, and when I asked him if he wanted to go, I called it a “date”. He smiled like I had said “candy and ice cream”, and I knew I was onto something. He’s heard Daddy and I refer to our “dates” and knows they’re fun and special.

My son and I have gotten all gussied up twice now to go on special Mommy/Son “dates”, and he really glows in the presence of just mom. Last week we even went strawberry picking, just the two of us. Even though it happened that way out of necessity (husband doesn’t love strawberry picking and volunteered to stay home with Lovey Girl), calling it a “date” got Buddy Boy all excited about it and helped me remember to be patient with him in the patch.

So Date Your Kids!
This serves as a good reminder to me to make sure I get some one-on-one loving time with each of my kids, every day. May it also inspire you to find some “special time” or make a “date” with your kids. They’ll positively beam, and you won’t regret it!

Let’s pile up great memories in the comments: tell us about your favorite “dates” or “special time” routines with your kiddos.

Katie blogs at Kitchen Stewardship, where it’s all about the Baby Steps to balancing nutrition, the environment, time, and money through the eyes of faith. She gives weekly “Monday Missions” to challenge readers to make one positive change in their kitchen each week, with supporting recipes and tips to help make it happen.

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

More from Keeper of the Home

• Caring, Keeping, and Gestating: How To Do Life While Pregnant | Keeper of the Home
• Living Simply Saturday: “A Mother’s Work is Never Done” | Keeper of the Home
• How to Nurture Generosity in Your Children | Keeper of the Home
• Happy New Year (and it’s great to be blogging again)! | Keeper of the Home

What a great topic! I love it, so I'll hand it straight over to Jamie without further ado...

*******

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

More from Keeper of the Home

• Rejoicing in My Role | Keeper of the Home
• Training Kids to Help in the Kitchen | Keeper of the Home
• How I Plan to Keep Blog Time in Check | Keeper of the Home
• Good Nutrition in a Nutshell | Keeper of the Home

Seeing as Kelly just had her 8th baby a few weeks before me, this is the one guest post that wasn't written specifically for my blog. I figured having a newborn herself was a pretty good excuse to use something she's written before! Kelly gave me a choice of several posts, and this one really resonated with me. I, too, have felt the weight of responsibility and those feelings of inadequacy that she speaks of, when I consider my role as a mother to these 3 precious lives. I pray that you are encouraged as I was by these words of truth!

*******

Guest Post by Kelly

(Originally published at Generation Cedar in Dec 2008. Republished with permission.)

It was a simple prayer…but I couldn’t stop sobbing.

During church this morning, during intercessory prayer–just like
every Sunday, a prayer was offered up for the expecting moms in our
church, of which I am one

The prayer went something like…”Thank you, Lord, for the incredible gift of immortal souls whom you have given us to bring up to love You.”

At that moment, the weight of my responsibility met with my overwhelming feelings of inadequacy, and I began to sob.

“It’s too big, Lord…it’s too hard”, were the silent cries of my heart.

I flipped through my Bible after the prayer, and scanned through the call to Moses in Exodus to rescue God’s people from Egypt.

Moses pleaded with God three times–even while beholding the miracle of the burning bush–that he was not capable.

The first time he said…”WHO AM I?” (3:11)

The second time he said…”BUT THEY WILL NOT BELIEVE ME OR LISTEN TO ME.” (4:1)

The third time (can you imagine his desperation)…”I CAN’T EVEN TALK RIGHT!” (4:10)

And God’s answer to Moses was, “Certainly I will be with you.”

God doesn’t call perfect people to do His work (praise Him!)

He chooses the broken, the imperfect, the weak, so that His power
can be revealed. (”Therefore I will glory in my infirmities, for when I
am weak, You are strong.”)

And God says to this mother, and to you…”Certainly I will be with You.”

Most definitely. You can be sure of it.

I do feel, as Moses must have, that my task is too much sometimes.
And God knew the task was too much for Moses…if Moses were given it to
do alone.

But God said to Moses…”I AM that I AM”.

And He is for us…

All He wants–all He has ever wanted is a willing, obedient heart.
That is the only vessel through which He can show forth His power.

“Father, make me a willing vessel, broken as I am, through which You demonstrate Yourself to the world.”

Kelly, a.k.a. “Word Warrior” writes for the blog at her family's website, Generation Cedar, where their purpose is to equip and strengthen Christian families, knowing that strong families make a strong nation. She is a homeschooling mother of 8 (including her own new little baby!) and has a passion for inspiring and encouraging women to build godly homes!

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

More from Keeper of the Home

• No News | Keeper of the Home
• I’m joining in the Spring Cleaning Party! | Keeper of the Home
• Who are we boasting in? | Keeper of the Home
• A winner, and a new name (sort of…) | Keeper of the Home

Guest Post by Cara

Waldorf is a method of education
founded by Rudolf Steiner in the late 1800s that focuses on a natural
approach to child development. While we don't use everything from the
philosophy (it goes into some religion stuff that we don't agree with),
we do really like the approach to early childhood education.  Steiner
advocates allowing children to develop in a natural environment with a
focus on the natural rhythms of home life.  In this philosophy of
childrearing, children live their lives with purpose, imagination, and
love.  I learned about this method of education when the daycare that I
worked at four mornings a week as a teen underwent transformation from
a regular daycare into a Waldorf preschool.  I was amazed to watch some
of the daycare children turn from hyperactive, easily distracted, and
easily bored to calm happy kids with an excellent attention span.  The
play they engaged in was now Real Play, play with more meaning that
mimics what we do in every day life.

The following are some things that we do to facilitate Real Play in
our home.  It seems almost too simple, but it is quite enriching.

Starting
with my little babies, I help them to be a part of every day life by
playing near me on the floor, and when they want to be held they ride
on my hip in a sling, or on my back in a mei tai or Ergo.  I chatter
about what I'm preparing for supper, sing little nursery rhymes, and
give lots of smiles while allowing them to see what goes on in every
day life.  Letting them see you always being engaged in something,
rather than just passively being entertained (on the computer or TV)
helps prevent boredom through example.  When I am sitting and listening
to the radio or just having a conversation with my hubby, if I'm not
nursing a baby, I try to have some handwork to do, like knitting or
hand sewing. 

We don't allow screen time of any kind for children.  No videos, no
cartoons, no computer games.  I'm not a purist, my daughter has seen me
on the computer and she has seen cartoons at other people's house. But
as a general rule, we stay away from that, so that she doesn't get
conditioned to where she needs something to watch to be entertained. 
You will find that once your child develops a long attention span, they
are happy to play alongside you while you work and you will not depend
on the TV to keep them entertained while you accomplish your chores.

I
make a point to slow down what I'm doing and do things with purpose so
my little ones can see and imitate me, since that's what they do
naturally.  I don't rushidly fold the laundry. I carefully smooth out
each shirt, fold it, and place it in the stack.  I take care to place
my dirty dishes in the sink, then gently wash them.  I avoid looking as
if I'm a chicken with my head cut off as I rush around to catch up on
housework.  I smile as I work.  Really, it doesn't take much more time
at all, and it gives the children something to imitate.  This work is
your quality time with the children, young children especially enjoy an
activity like making bread with mom just as much (or in our case more!)
than a trip to the fair or amusement park.  It shows them by example
how to care for belongings, to find contentment in what must be done,
and it gives them peace of mind to know that Mommy isn't frazzled.

When
possible, I involve my children in my work.  It takes a little longer,
but my toddler receives much more joy in completely emptying the dryer
into the laundry basket for me than she would with a dozen 'Good Job!'
stickers.  I also pay attention to what will trigger a meltdown and
avoid it.  For instance, my little girl isn't happy just putting the
two cups of flour in my cookie batter; she wants to scoop the entire
flour canister into the mixing bowl. So, knowing this, scooping the
flour is something that just Mommy does for now, and she has a bin full
of rice and scoops where she can scoop to her heart's content.  When
helping isn't possible because of safety (like with sewing) or the
tendency to trigger a meltdown, I do try to provide some similar
alternative for her, again, encouraging her desire to imitate me.

We sing little songs throughout the day.  Children love repetition
and silly rhyming songs. A verse of "This is the way we wash our hands"
before lunch or after playing outside makes hand washing into a
pleasurable experience rather than a chore.  A little song can convince
a reluctant toddler to do what needs to be done as well, "This is the
way we buckle our carseat, buckle our carseat, buckle our carseat..."

Waldorf
puts emphasis on outside time as well.  And to allow children's
imagination to flow, unstructured open nature areas are encouraged over
playgrounds with play structures.  On play structures, children are
confined to what is there. In a natural park setting, children have
more of an opportunity to notice small things. They watch the ants
trailing out of the ant hill.  They collect pine cones.  They make mud
pies and daydream.

Natural toys are preferred, but if those are not available due to
money constraints, open-ended toys are the best.  The more specific a
toy is, the faster a child will get bored with it. Open ended toys are
toys that can perform a variety of purposes. A basket can be a bathtub
one day, an oven for baking bread the next, and also turned upside
down, covered with a playsilk, and used as a stage for a play the next
day.  By contrast, a flashing box with buttons that talks and tells the
child what to do is limited to its one specific roll, and quickly
becomes boring.  Having few toys is preferred to having many.  With
many toys out, the child is overwhelmed and stops playing with them in
search of more order and simplicity.

My first summer job as a daycare assistant greatly influenced how I
parent my children and live my life. I learned to slow down and
appreciate the little things with children. I learned that faster isn't
always better. I learned that children don't need to be constantly busy
to be happy. And I learned that children weren't nuisances to be 'kept
busy' until they could be taught later on, but they were to be joyously
included in every day life right along side an adult. I wanted to share
since I feel that what I've learned has enriched our family life, and I
hope it can enrich yours as well.

More Reading:
Why Natural Toys?
Dressing Children Simply
An example of Meaningful Work
Instructions to Make a Waldorf-Style Doll

Cara is the stay-at-home mama of two children so far; 2-1/2
and 7 months.  She writes about parenting and crafting at Green Bean, and health and food at Health Home & Happiness, and also has an Etsy shop where she sells Waldorf inspired dolls and more.

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

More from Keeper of the Home

• Quiet Time Bins | Keeper of the Home
• The World is our Classroom | Keeper of the Home
• All Ready for Another Year of Home Educating! | Keeper of the Home
• Teaching handicrafts to little ones | Keeper of the Home

**Yes, this is baby Johanna in the kid's little doll carriage, lovingly wrapped up and given a little piggy to keep her company.

I think one of the most wonderful things about having a 3rd baby is that the actual work of caring for a newborn becomes so much more natural. I remember feeling fairly overwhelmed when I had my first child, a lot less when I had my second, and now this third time around feels even that much simpler and easier.

The longer I am a mother, the more that I realize there are very few things that I need as I nurture my new little one. Her needs are not complex, and neither are the tools that I need to meet them.

There have been a few things, however, that I have been considering quite indispensable in these early days with my sweet little girl:

1) God's grace. Abundant, undeserved, unfailing, sufficient. Along with the daily strength that He offers me, comes deep and pervasive joy. I am overwhelmed, but mostly by His goodness and the rich blessings in my life. 

2) My husband. More than I can ever remember before, I have been cared for and coddled and treated like a queen. In the first few days, if I even tried to so much as put a dish in the dishwasher, I was told in no uncertain terms to sit myself back down! He has been so understanding of my need to rest, and so helpful with the children and around the house. I don't know what I would have done without him!

3) Our Co-Sleeper. If there is one thing that I would recommend for every new mother, I think this would have to be it. Having my baby right beside me allows me to nurse so easily throughout the night, without getting up, without turning on lights. And having her in her own bed (and not actually in mine) allows me to sleep comfortably, without worrying about baby, without feeling squished. Ahhh... nighttime nursing at it's finest. 

4) My Shower Hug. Back when I reviewed this, I had a feeling that I was really going to like it. Boy, was I ever right! It's like a hot compress in the shower, and much more comfortable than a nursing bra at night. Oh yes, I like it very much.

5) Our washer and drier. Between stuff from the homebirth, all of my non-pregnancy clothes that were musty from storage (yep, should have thought to do that pre-baby), regular family laundry and now the usual deluge of laundry that comes along with having a newborn, those machines have been doing double duty, I tell ya!

6) Meals I don't have to cook. Between my MIL here for a few days, a week of dinners from our church caregroup (standard for every baby born- I think this is such a good thing!), and my after-baby freezer stash of meals and simple meal-makings (nitrate-free turkey hotdogs, anyone?), we have been set around here. What a blessing to not have to be doing much fussing around in the kitchen at this point! Every time I try to get more active again since the birth, it starts to obviously affect my recovery, and so I am grateful to know that even if the house gets messy or all that laundry doesn't get caught up on yet, at least we will eat!

7) My nursing canopy and sling (oops, that's 2 things, isn't it?). These are a couple of items that I decided to splurge on this time around (if splurge is the right term for someone who buys things only on sale or places like Craigslist). I got through two previous babies without them, but decided that they sure would be nice to have, and I'm so glad I did. My nursing canopy is not only adorable (a boldly colored morning-glory pattern by Amy Butler), but it really does make nursing in public so much easier as it is completely hands-free and more covering than any blanket. My new-to-me Hotsling
has also been a huge improvement over using a Snugli type carrier, a bad ringsling, and an Ergo infant insert. It folds up small, goes on and off quickly, keeps baby snug and happy, and so far isn't bugging my back. I'm a happy camper.

What things do you consider indispensable after the birth of a baby?

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

More from Keeper of the Home

• Surprise Getaway | Keeper of the Home
• Enjoying my Kids | Keeper of the Home
• Pregnancy Update: 32 Weeks | Keeper of the Home
• Pregnancy Update: 24 Weeks | Keeper of the Home