Keeper of the Home » Mothering

Making Mom’s Health A Priority

Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 10:00:53 +0000

Guest Post by Leah

When my children wake up in the morning, I sometimes chuckle to myself as I’m reminded of some old horse races I used to watch as a child. The whistle blows, the announcer proclaims, “And she’s OFF!”, and the remainder of the race is spent simply trying to keep up with what’s going on, and preparing for what’s to come around the next bend.

While doing my best to nourish precious little bodies, minds, and spirits each day, there are occasions when I can’t help but feel like I’m in a race of my own: a race to check off my to-do’s and compile my will-do’s before the day ends.

It is easy to become so absorbed by the responsibilities of being a joyful wife, mother, and homemaker that we neglect to adequately tend to our own personal health and well being. Often times, we may just dismiss the warning signs of stress as they appear, or even allow them to go unrecognized until physical symptoms begin to develop.

Did you know that too much stress can lead to digestive issues, depression, insomnia, and even skin conditions such as eczema? The list goes on and on, and let’s not forget the ill-effects it has on our family as well!

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I will be the first to admit that I have frequently failed in the “cheerful disposition” department, especially after receiving an unpleasant health diagnosis last fall. Since this time, I have been on a mission to intentionally rebuild my body as the temple God created it to be, and renew my spirit within.

It has been a process requiring time and considerable effort, but the results have been well worth it. Most days, I can honestly say that I am feeling healthier, more joyful, and more at peace than ever before. Each step towards your own good health is a blessing, both to you and your entire family as well, and it’s much easier than you may think!

Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established. Proverbs 16:3

Start by making a list of goals for yourself.

Divide these goals into 3 groups: physical, personal, and spiritual. Write down everything that comes to mind, and then start to number each category in the order of importance. Once you have everything laid out in front of you, you can begin to make a workable plan.

The next step is to look at your current routine and search for areas where you can squeeze in some personal time, even if it’s only five minutes. It’s easiest to try to establish one new habit at a time before moving to the next. Be patient, and start with the most important ones first!

Here are a few of the habits that continue to work for me:

Waking up at least an hour or so before my children. This has been the single most effective strategy I’ve found to nurture my craving for personal and spiritual growth. In the quiet morning hours I can journal and read uninterrupted, shower, and gear up for my day. Recently, I’ve also started using a great program called PraiseMoves which incorporates stretching, gentle exercise, and scripture meditation all in one, and I simply adore it. You can read my full review of PraiseMoves and enter a giveaway here.

Dedicating five minutes or so to myself in between my daily activities. This has been a simple way to focus on a few basic recurring needs, such as having a glass of water, or taking my vitamins.

Playing “copycat” when spending time with the kids. This is a great way to fit in some exercise. If they are running and jumping around, why not join them for a few minutes of fun? When they get thirsty, join them for a drink!

Designating a home spa time for myself once a week during my children’s nap time. This consists of taking a nice, relaxing bath, reading a good book, and then fussing over my hair and skin a bit more than usual. I find this regular time of self-pampering works wonders in my mood and disposition. I highly recommend that you try it!

Work on eliminating stress.

Besides exercise, another very helpful stress-reducing technique is called diaphragmatic breathing. The name may sound a bit daunting, but with a bit of practice, you will be filling your lungs with more oxygen than you have since you were a child, and letting go of loads of tension in the process! Here is a video tutorial to help you get started.

Meditating on God’s word is an extremely valuable tool in maintaining a more peaceful spirit as well. Find verses that are most helpful to you, especially ones that focus on His wonderful qualities. After all, our true identity is based on Him alone!

Enlist a few helpful allies.

If you don’t have a set schedule to follow each day, consider setting a timer to go off periodically as a reminder to stop and take a short break. Pray, have a cup of tea, and get refreshed! You may benefit from asking a friend to check with you weekly and hold you accountable. I personally do much better when I have someone else helping to keep me straight.

Another thing that I find helpful is to post little reminder notes throughout the house, and place scripture verses to meditate in practical locations such as beside the toilet or above the kitchen sink.

Above all, don’t forget that we can do ALL things through Him who gives us strength.

The important thing to remember is to trust him for the timing. He doesn’t expect us to be perfect, so neither should we expect it of ourselves! Take the time to relax and care for your body and spirit today. Your family will thank you for it, and you’ll be on your way to feeling better than ever!

What are some of your ideas for putting better health into action?

Leah enjoys a simple life as wife and home schooling mama to 4- ages 9,3,2, and 1! Through the Lord’s strength and amazing grace she has overcome a past of drug addiction, approval addiction, and atheism, and now knows her true identity as a child of the King! Challenged by personal hardship, Leah started her blog, Dance And Be Glad, to share her heart and testimony of the power of God to bring joy, health, and healing back into our homes.

Top image by TriggerHappyDave

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Results and Thoughts on the Survey: Breastfeeding vs. Return of Menstrual Cycle

Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 10:00:23 +0000

At long (long) last, time to analyze this survey on Breastfeeding vs. Return of Menstural Cycle that just blew me out of the water with all of the responses it received!

So... what is the relationship between breastfeeding and the post-partum return of fertility?

I thought that the answer would become more clear, but although I feel like there are some definite trends and general aspects of the relationship between the two, overall my answer would have to be "Well, it really depends...". How's that for clear as mud?

I did manage to confirm something that I already thought, which is that I have a pretty crunchy readership- over 75% breastfed for more than 12 months, and over 36% breastfed for 18 months or longer! Mamas, you rock!

Let's dig in and see what the survey said:

I'm going to apologize now that these charts are not as clear as I would like them to be-- I couldn't increase the size any more without cutting off the chart!

This is one of the results that blew me away. Those fuzzy numbers say that over 39% of moms were still nursing at night when their cycle returned! Additionally, less than 40% were feeding baby any sort of solids, only 15% offering a pacifier, and 6% offering supplemental bottles.

What that means is that significantly more than half of breastfeeding moms see the return of their fertility while they are NOT offering bottles, NOT using a pacifier, NOT feeding solids, and CONTINUING to nurse through the night!

The next part of the survey asked moms when their cycle returned, in comparison with how long they breastfed in total. You can see that there is definitely a significant holding-off factor that more extended breastfeeding offers. For those moms who continued to breastfeed past the 6 mth mark, another 7.5% of them managed to stave off the return of their fertility.

BUT, for the great majority (over 80%) that didn't seem to make a difference.

In fact, if you look also at the two charts below, which are for moms who breastfed for 12-18 or 18+ months, most moms still get their cycle back by the time their baby is 6 months old. A whopping 72%, according to my oh-so-scientific survey!

Extended breastfeeding does make a difference, obviously, as a much greater percentage of these moms who breastfed for 12 months or longer saw their cycle hold off for much longer. As many as 10-15% of moms did not regain fertility until after baby was 1 year old.

When I look at these results, I have to extrapolate the fact that perhaps we North American women (brace yourself for the broad, sweeping generalization...) are NOT practicing the kind of ecological breastfeeding that naturally prolongs the return of fertility.

What exactly constitutes "ecological breastfeeding" anyways?

Glad you asked! I did a bit of research and found these 7 basic tenets of ecological breastfeeding, as put forward by Sheila Kippley, author of Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing

7 Standard of Ecological Breastfeeding

From an article on the La Leche League International site, by Sheila Kippley

Breastfeed exclusively for the first six months.
Pacify Your Baby at Your Breasts
Don't Use Bottles and Pacifiers
Sleep with Your Baby for Night Feedings
Sleep with Your Baby for a Daily-Nap Feeding
Breastfeed Frequently Day and Night and Avoid Schedules
Avoid Any Practice that Restricts Nursing or Separates You from Your Baby

Anyone want to do a quick run-through of the standards and see how your breastfeeding practices matched up, according to when your cycle returned?

For me personally, with my first I was only practicing #1, 6, and 7 completely when my cycle returned at 12 months (though fertility didn't return until 15 mths). She was in our room for night nursings as well (#4) until she was 6 mths and night-weaned at 11 mths. With my second, I was practiced #1, 2, 3, 6 and 7. He also slept near me until 6 months. He was 18 mths old and still getting one early morning (3-5am) feed when I caught the first egg and conceived my third.

Currently, I'm nursing my 12 mth old frequently, but just night-weaned (naturally- I didn't force it) about a week and a half ago. I've practiced #1, 2, 4 and 6 with her, but have had times when I've had to pump and use bottles for her while I was away. She also slept near us until about 11 mths old, as I continued to night feed. My cycle is just showing signs of returning.

That's just my story, though. As I said earlier in this post, my true answer as to the relationship between fertility and breastfeeding is that there are definitely some practices that seem to have a fairly consistent effect on the return of fertility. And there also seem to be a whole lot of women for whom there isn't a lot of rhyme or reason, but their bodies just seem to work in a particular rhythm of fertility no matter what.

Image by tedsblog

Here are a sampling of the interesting additional comments from moms who took the survey:

My cycle returned as soon as I started offering my baby solid food--even though it was just rice cereal. Offering food means the weaning process has started, no matter how little you offer or how long you breastfeed at the same time (in my case, 20 months). My body just seemed to know that it wasn't the "one and only" any more, and lo, my period came back.
I have breast fed all 7 of my kids. With each of them, my cycle returned around 7 months. With each child, they had somewhat different habits.
Both I and another breastfeeding mom I know found that the return of our cycles took longer with each successive child. So I had the longest break from my cycle after my third child was born.
For me, my cycle returns withing a month of baby night-weaning.
I always breastfeed on demand around the clock and my cycle always returns around 3 -4 months postpartum!!
I was actually tandem nursing my 15 month old and my newborn and my cycle returned at week 5 post-partum. It return the same time with my first baby as well.
My period returns when I quit nursing.
My cycle hasn't come back with any of my 5 children until i was down to about 2 nursings a day....just my experience....I'll be interested in your finds.
I have had three babies and it was different every time. My first nursed until she was four, and my cycle came back when she was 14 months old. With my second, I was tandem nursing a LOT, and was shocked to discover I was pregnant again when he was only seven months old. With my third, I was again tandem nursing and my cycle returned when she was nineteen months old. At that point, I was just two months shy of having gone four entire years with no period.
My baby is exactly 18 months old (to the day). I'm still breastfeeding - several times during the day and also at night. My menstrual cycle has not yet returned.
I transitioned my son to a crib when he was almost 1yo. Previously we had been co-sleeping. As a result he nursed less at night - though he was still not STTN. A few weeks later and my cycle returned.
From my own research and the info I've received from fellow NFPers (from our ministry site www.sweeterthanhoney.org), a HUGE reason for an earlier than expected return to fertility is due to baby sleeping through the night. A woman could be breastfeeding exclusively (no pacifiers, no solids) for an entire year but have a early return to fertility (when baby is 9 mo old, for example) because baby began sleeping through the night at 8 mo. I've advised young moms who want to delay fertility to co-sleep or wake up the baby to nurse in the night.
I was breastfeeding TWINS full time when my cycle returned after only 3 months. :-)
I found with all three of my kids that my menstrual cycle returned when I completely cut out nighttime feedings (so baby would go about 8 hours without a feed during the night)- for my first two this was around 6 months, and the third it was around 9 months.
I have birthed four babies at home. We have nursed on demand (rarely more than two hours apart even as they approached one years old), co-slept, practiced babywearing, etc. Our babies do suck their thumbs, but we've never encouraged it over breastfeeding, and they have all nursed a LOT during the night. With my first three pregnancies, my cycle returned at 2 mo. After my first, I got pregnant when he was six months, then we waited until our second baby was one to conceive. We got pregnant for the fourth time when our third was five months old. Just sharing all of this info, because it is something I'm so greatly interested in. I struggle to come to terms with the fact the my body is allowing me to become pregnant when my babies still need my milk. Couldn't be happier with our four little ones, so a mixed blessing :)

It's a whole lot of food for thought. I've come to the conclusion that perhaps there is no conclusive answer.

I'm quite certain that trends in the North American diet, environmental toxins, etc. play a role in our hormones and fertility. I also think that (as a general rule) most of us don't practice true ecological breastfeeding, as it is practiced in many other cultures.

After all this, what do you think about the issue now? How do you think that breastfeeding practices and individual differences between women account for the timing of the return to fertility?

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Healing Rashes While Cloth Diapering

Sherrie Cook — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 10:00:27 +0000

Written by Sherrie Cook, Contributing Writer

There are many reasons to choose cloth diapers for your baby. Many mums choose cloth to aid in the prevention of diaper rashes. Cloth diapers are breathable, allowing air to flow freely through them. This constant air movement provides a natural, dry environment without using harsh chemicals next to baby's skin. In most cases, rashes are "gone with the wind".

Unfortunately, not even using cloth guarantees a rash-free childhood for your little one. Rashes in the diaper area can be caused and/or made worse by a variety of different things.

Some of the most common irritants include:

moisture trapped against the skin from heavy wetters, infrequent diaper changes or insufficient diaper absorbency
irritation from urine and feces (pH is raised with this combo to a higher alkalinity allowing baby's delicate skin to break down more rapidly)
chemical irritants from detergents/soaps
allergic reactions from dyes, fragrances, fibers, etc.
friction/chaffing
restricted air flow
oral antibiotics (kill the "good" bacteria and leave the "yeasty" bacteria to run a muck)
microorganisms
diarrhea
introduction of new foods
commercial wipes

How do you know which one(s) of these factors is causing your child's rash?

Unfortunately, it's basically a process of elimination (no pun intended). In the meantime, while you solve the mystery of the rash, it is extremely important to give your baby's skin a helping hand while it heals. This does NOT mean you will be forced to dig into the far reaches of the hall closet for that dusty, left-over disposable diaper (now two sizes too small) from last May!

Here are a few ideas to give you hope for finding more natural solutions:

:: Ointments

Most diapering systems suggest that you do NOT use creams and ointments since these products can coat the fabric of your diapers and cause repelling issues. Nobody wants that! What I suggest to concerned moms is two-fold.

Choose a cloth diaper friendly ointment. A couple of my favorites are petroleum-free Baby Bottom Better Salve and Grandma El's Rash Cream. (Many moms really like Northern Essence Diaper Salves, too, though I haven't needed to try the latter because the first two always worked well for my babies.) Used sparingly, a little goes a long way, these ointments should not clog your diaper fabric.

If you are still concerned that the use of ointments might ruin your diapers, place a piece of fabric (i.e. flannel, fleece, a cloth wipey, a prefold diaper, or even a strip ripped from an old tee shirt) between your baby's bum and the cloth diaper.

This additional layer will serve as a barrier and will keep most ointment residue from transferring onto your favorite diapers. Once used, you may launder the fabric with your cloth diapers or, for cautious parents, with a load of jeans. If you think yeast may be involved secondary to your child's rash, this may be one case where tossing the barrier fabric might be your best bet.

*Be sure to check your manufacturers warranty prior to the use of any diapering ointments listed here.

:: Naked Time

(If your babies are like mine, they're cheering already!) Babies generally LOVE to be freed from all things that bind them - including diapers!

Right after a bath or diaper change, consider letting your little one air out a bit before replacing the diaper. Make sure all baby's cracks and crevices are patted completely dry.

Resist the urge to use talcum powder (bad for the lungs if inhaled) or cornstarch (cornstarch rings the dinner bell for yeast - you don't ever want to encourage the presence of yeast by setting out a yummy treat) in the diaper area, especially when the skin is already broken and vulnerable with a rash.

An absorbent prefold placed under your baby (if he's not yet mobile) will provide ample coverage for a few minutes . If your baby is on the run, a loose fitting prefold, soft diaper cover or trainer will do the trick for a few minutes - just don't forget he's not leak proof and start dinner. :)

Happy Rash-Free Diapering!

Photos courtesy of: Ozrix, La Grande Farmer's Market & crimfants

Sherrie is a wife, mother, peer counselor, speaker and author. She enjoys helping fellow moms in their quest for a simple, God-centered home for their natural living families. She notes her (hopefully) helpful hints at The Proverbial Woman.

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What Makes You a Steady Mom?

Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 10:00:24 +0000

What makes you a steady mom?

This is the question that Jamie of the blog, Steady Mom, is asking this summer. This wonderful series is taking a look at a wide variety of moms, with different circumstances and family situations, and exploring what helps other moms to cope with the challenges of everyday life!

I love Jamie's blog, as it always helps to bring me back to feeling more grounded and focused on what's important as a mom. She's even written a book on that very topic, called Steady Days which I reviewed last year and still find myself going back to often (the short chapters make for good bathroom reading, in those precious 2-3 minutes of "private" time!).

Here are the questions that Jamie had for me:

What is one important, practical step you take that helps you maintain a steady rhythm in your home and how does it make a difference to your days? (For me, taking my showers at night helps to get our mornings off on the right foot.)

What is a personality weakness that motherhood has made more obvious to you and how have you tried to overcome that weakness for the sake of your children?

We all have those days--where all our good plans and intentions crumble around us, the children are miserable, and we are exhausted. On a really rough day, what techniques do you use to try and turn the mood around and redeem the day in your home?

You have three young children, aim to cook and grow whole foods, just started a new blog on top of your other one, and just moved to a new house. What does being a steady mom look like when you're in a survival, just trying to get by period of life?

If you want to read my answers, you'll have to visit her blog and find out What Makes Me a Steady Mom!

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Keeping the Home Fires Burning While Mama’s Sick

Cultivating a Servant’s Heart as a Mother

Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 10:00:00 +0000

Do you ever feel that some of the duties of motherhood are not quite what you expected? Or that many of the mundane and trivial tasks are not what you thought you were signing up for?

This weekend I was reading "The Mission of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson and one chapter in particular just hit me over the head. I am perpetually in awe of the way that the Holy Spirit can guide us to read the very thing that we need to hear, at just the right moment, that will meet us right where we're at and challenge us to grow more like Christ.

Sally was sharing about a day that began busily-- a birthday party, a special outing with friends, grocery shopping and errands, etc. By late afternoon she began to make plans to sit and refresh herself with a cup of tea for 15 minutes, before she carried on with putting away the food and making dinner for her family.

Yet every time she went to take her few minutes of relaxation with her coveted cup of tea, an interruption arose… a child wanted to show her something, a phone call from her young adult with car troubles, a teenager that needed her help, her husband's reminder of a child in need of a ride, a specific missing tee shirt that needed to be found amidst the piles of laundry for an event that evening.

As you may have already guessed, she never got around to that cup of tea, nor the moments of peace and quiet that she hoped would accompany it.

Glancing up at her fridge in the midst of these busy moments, full of interruptions and distractions, she saw these words, "If you want to be great in God's kingdom, learn to be the servant of all!" and she wondered whether to pitch the paper in the recycling bin or to simply laugh at the Lord's sense of humor!

I, too, laughed at the Lord's sense of humor as I read this chapter because I could have easily written about a day like Sally's this weekend. Subtract the teenage children, but then add in three hungry homestay students needing early breakfasts and bagged lunches, sprinkle in some toddler potty accidents, baby diaper changes, 5 year old boo-boos, umpteen glasses of spilled water, a husband who was gone nearly all weekend, and a very worn and weary mama, and I also found myself longing for moments of rest and restoration.

Here's what Sally had to say about the moments that make up our days as mothers:

"When it comes to motherhood, I like the idea of being a mom who inspires my children to great accomplishments in medicine (developing the cure for cancer) or statesmanship (a future president of the United States) or the arts (a Christian movie producer). The everyday realities of running a household just don't have the same appeal.

But such humdrum activities, of course, comprise the majority of a mother's experience. Before I had children, I never realized this. I really had no clue that admiring a Beanie Baby's pen, taking a picture, finding a T-shirt, and helping to unlock a gas cap would be the kinds of sacrificial acts required of me most often while I attempted to fulfill the mission of motherhood.

As I have grown through the past eighteen years of motherhood, however, I've come to appreciate the importance of the many thousands of routine moments in a mother's life, for it is in these moments that real greatness tends to be taught and caught. It is certainly important to grasp the great calling of motherhood and respond to a vision for what a family can be.

But it's the way I respond to my children in everyday moments that gives me the best chance of winning their hearts… and if I approach them with a servant's heart, then I have a far better chance of influencing them in the larger and more critical issues of life." The Mission of Motherhood, pg. 62-63

What a beautiful reminder that these everyday, mundane moments and actions with our children are opportunities for us to serve them with the love of Christ, in ways that will ultimately shape and mold them into children who will also have a heart to serve and who will make a difference for Christ's Kingdom.

How I long to be a more faithful servant and mother, doing all that the Lord has for me (with joy!) no matter how trivial it may seem!

What do you think it means to practice servanthood as a mother? How do you keep the tasks of motherhood in perspective when you become weary and overwhelmed?

Image by E.Yoshio

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The Lesson of the Pickles

Beth Corcoran — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 10:00:01 +0000

Written by Beth Corcoran, Contributing Writer

As I am writing this, I am currently working on my third batch of pickles. I’ve been buying cucumbers from the farmer’s market and making all kinds of pickles, although garlic dill is definitely my family’s favorite. Pickles are just such a tangy and refreshing treat!

This is my first summer to try canning, drying, and freezing enough food to put away for the rest of the year. Last summer, I did some canning, but nothing more than a handful of jars.

So a few weeks ago, I bought a big boiling water canner, eagerly anticipating all the lovely jars full of a bountiful harvest. To me, jars full of all different colors of food are like artwork on the shelves of my pantry. But, alas, when I finally got around to using the water canner, I read the fine print. Apparently you aren’t supposed to use it on a glass cooktop, which, of course, is what I have at my home.

In my effort to improvise, I ended up boiling the water for the canner on the gas grill on my back patio. I have four kids of my own, and then two foster sons, so with six kids in my house, I don’t have much time to do any canning while the kids are awake. So, I found myself getting around to boiling the water on my grill at eleven o’clock at night.

As I was sitting out there in the dark waiting for the pot to boil (which it finally did after about an hour), I was getting eaten alive by mosquitoes and had June bugs crawling all over my feet. The warm thoughts of my lovely jars making artwork on the shelves of my pantry quickly faded. The thrill of being a good steward and providing healthy food for my family year round disappeared. I became cranky. Afterall, it was late—even my husband was in bed at this point—and I was hot and being eaten by bugs!

But it was there in the dark and humidity that God taught me a valuable lesson through those jars of pickles.

Pickles can be sweet and crisp and delightful for those who partake, but only with that valuable (although time consuming) step of processing the jars. Without processing the jars, any impurities that are left inside will putrefy the pickles and leave a stinky and poisonous result.

The same is true in our hearts.

How often have we cried out for mercy, wondering how long the Lord will let us go through a trying time in our life? I know. I’m there now. I’ve been there for a little over a year now—always asking God to intervene and rescue me. But just like my pickles, I need the heat of suffering in my life for the proper amount of time—the time that God deems necessary.

Suffering and trials in our lives gets rid of those impurities in our hearts—those impurities that cause the disease of sin to spread through our lives if left unattended. If we want to have our lives be a sweet aroma to the Lord and be refreshment to others, we must accept the trials that God allows us to experience. And most importantly, suffering produces endurance in our lives, much like processing my jars gives them a long shelf life.

"knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:3-4

Photo credit: z5

Oh, how I want my life to be refreshing to others—especially my children! But I must be refined. I must allow the heat and the pain because my heart is full of dirt. I must admit that many days, my words are more like the stinky pickles—hurtful to others. But the hard times in life clean that out and refine us when we turn to the Lord.

I started making pickles with a heavy and complaining heart, but just as always, the Lord was faithful to encourage me with something as simple as a few jars of pickles. I think it is so neat how God does that—how physical things around us mirror a much deeper reality in our hearts. And I hope, too, that what God showed me that night can be an encouragement in your life as you wait for the water to boil as you can your food this summer.

How has the Lord used difficult times and painful trials in your life to refine you and cause you to turn to Him?

I am the mother of four children (wait- make that six as of recently!)—two girls and two boys, ages 7, 6, 5, and 2 ½. While not homeschooling or chauffeuring the kids to their activities, I enjoy all kinds of craft projects and learning how to be a better steward of all that the Lord has given me. My blog is stewardshipnotconvenience.blogspot.com.

Top photo credit: biskuit

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Natural Bonding with Baby During Pregnancy

Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 10:00:06 +0000

Guest Post Written by Michele

When I was pregnant with my son, we chose not to do regular ultrasounds and other prenatal testing. This choice was met by surprise from many women, who assumed that an ultrasound/testing was essential for their information, "peace of mind," and bonding with their unborn baby. I am not writing this to offend, but hope that in sharing my experiences, it will encourage you to find joy in the simple, traditional pursuits of natural pregnancy.

I personally believe that ultrasounds or other tests should be used with discretion as a tool, not a "toy." But there are some simple, natural ways to bond with your baby as well as avoid "surprises" during labor/birth! Bonding with your child before their birth can easily be done with some "hands-on" methods, without the "invasiveness" of technology. Most importantly, take some quiet time each day to focus on your baby.

As you rest in stillness, you can concentrate on feeling your little one's kicks and movements. In the quietness, you can pray over your little one, and practice relaxation techniques for labor. I found that an afternoon naptime or in the evening were the best times for me.

Ideally, begin your pursuit of bonding with your baby as early as possible.

As you begin to feel those little hiccups, kicks, and somersaults, pay attention to their location and frequency. Don't obsess over documenting kick counts (unless your healthcare provider recommends it); just experience it!

You will be amazed at how this time allows you a glimpse at your child's personality before they're born. (How do they respond to your activity, noise level, music, etc. and what seems to soothe them?)

Photo Credit: WTL photos

Ways to enhance bonding:

I recommend spending some time pursuing Belly Mapping to help you determine your baby's position before they are born. I found this to be quite accurate in my pregnancy!
Practice pelvic tilts and other exercises to help encourage good positioning for your baby, and soothe during labor. Actively participating in your pregnancy and preparing for birth increases bonding with your little one.
Try Prenatal Massage (for you and the baby!).

In The Natural Pregnancy Book, Aviva Jill Romm describes massaging her baby (while still in the womb). We regularly practiced this (using my homemade belly balm), while I was pregnant. It was a joy for my husband to nurture our little one in this way, and begin bonding during this season.

Seek a midwife and/or doula who encourages your mothering instincts and your faith.

There are midwives who have moved to a "medicalization" mode of midwifery, depending solely upon technology instead of the traditional midwifery methods. This is disappointing, in the message it sends to the pregnant mother. (In essence, saying that the mother is unable to perceive what is going on in her body, that birth is an "unnatural" process or illness that needs invasive testing/monitoring, and most of all- that she cannot do this "alone.") You can read more about this concept in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.

Highly skilled natural midwives have pursued training in manually determining position, identifying symptoms, and addressing complications (such as Midwifery Today's Conferences).

Research tests, and symptoms to be aware of before agreeing to testing.

Most healthy pregnant women do not need all the tests offered (such as STDs, gestational diabetes, etc).

Typical pregnant mothers can be encouraged to develop their awareness of their health and of their little one. This helps equip them for childbirth, as they are allowed to instinctively position themselves during labor, as well as creating a calm focus of trust in their ability to journey through the intensity of birth, instead of being overwhelmed by fear.

By trusting only in test results to allay fears during pregnancy, a pregnant mother has not developed an alternate way of calming her fears during birth. For a mother desiring a "natural" childbirth without medical interference, she needs to be equipped with practical spiritual/emotional solutions.

I recommend reading The Christian Childbirth Handbook for further equipping in trusting and relinquishing to our Creator through the journey of pregnancy and childbirth.

Embrace the sacredness of the womb.

God has placed a little soul within your womb, to carry and nurture. As the Creator of life, He is working out a miracle. Do not needlessly "peek" early at your gift of a child! Allow God to reveal this little one (and their gender) to you at the perfect time. (Purchasing gender-neutral baby items is the most frugal option, anyway!)

Focus on the "big picture" of this pregnancy.

When you obsess over details, "needing" to know the gender, exact due-date, etc of this little one, you can be tempted to "control" what should be placed in God's hands.

Traditionally, as well as spiritually, birth is a natural event, orchestrated by God. We do not need all the details to "prepare" for the future. Wall colors and names can wait. In fact, these exciting details can distract us from what is most important in this precious season.

Ultimately, God is growing new life within in you; in your womb, and in your heart as a new parent. Focus on glorifying God, and submitting to His power, as Lord of your life. Let Him lead you, and learn to place your hand in His, daily trusting through the unknown.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body." (Psalm 139:13-16)

Michele and her husband Calvin live a simple & sustainable life in rural Washington with their two (busy!) little ones. She takes joy in the daily ministry of delving into creativity, traditional homemaking & hospitality, homeschooling in everyday moments, and smooching her husband in the woods. Michele loves encouraging women and equipping them for frugal, natural living through her blog, Frugal Granola, and as a monthly contributor for Passionate Homemaking.

Photo Credit -mrsraggle-

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Better Bedtimes for Little Ones

Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 10:00:01 +0000

Guest Post by Leah Hoffmaster

There are few things in life more precious than a sleeping baby. One of my favorite things to do during my children’s infancy was to lay them on my chest and allow my beating heart and warm embrace to soothe them into a peaceful slumber. Oh, how often I would wish that for just one moment, time could stand still.

Yet, surely enough, to quote the old adage, “time marches on” and our babies continue to blossom and grow and turn into their own beautiful little people with strong, individual identities. This often happens more quickly than we are ready to accept or admit! The past few years have flown by so quickly and have transformed into memories before my very eyes, and still, I long to share those quiet moments of joy with my children.

I have found one of my most fulfilling duties as a mother to be when I lovingly tuck a babe (or 4) snugly into their beds after an eventful day. This has also become one of my most challenging duties to tackle! It seems as if the kids aren’t always “feeling” the need to unwind quite like I am, and somehow they no longer find sleep as desirable or as easy to attain. Who would have thought?!

As I’ve come to realize how important a good night’s sleep is for my sanity my children, I have set out to find ways to help make their transition to bedtime as easy as possible.

Here are some of the things that work for our clan:

Establish a bedtime routine that is functional, yet fun.

Most kids find it easier to relax when they have an idea of what’s coming next. Slow-paced activities that they enjoy also help to settle them down a bit from a busy day. Our kids love baths, so we start off our evening routine with that. (If your kids hate getting in the tub, maybe the morning would be a better time for them, instead!)

Keep a few special books, games, or stuffed animals set aside ‘for bedtime use only’ and allow several minutes of quiet time play on the bed. This will encourage them to think of their bed as “a special place” and not the “enemy”.

Start early.

Our youngest three have a bedtime of 7pm. Really! In order to have adequate time to bathe, read, sing, etc., this means we need to start at approximately 6pm.

Kids are more likely to enjoy bedtime if they are not exhausted or cranky. Plus, I know I am much better suited for the task if I don’t have to rush. I tend to be more patient in the earlier hours of evening as well.

Consider using room darkening blinds.

No one wants to go to sleep with the sun shining in their eyes! Not only that, but studies have shown that our bodies actually are best rested when we get at least 8 hours of “dark time” sleep a night..and that time increases for children. We were able to buy our blinds for just $10 a piece.

Evaluate naptimes.

If you would like to get your children to bed earlier at night, it might be necessary to keep them awake for a longer stretch of time during the day.

Our girls need at least 6 hours between naptime and bedtime to be able to get to sleep easily. Now that they take just one nap per day, fitting it into mid-morning works best to keep their bedtime routine running smoothly. If they seem to be getting a bit restless later in the afternoon, a short quiet time activity or video can do wonders.

Be creative.

Some of the best childhood memories I have are from my own bedtime. My mother would gather us all together to sing some tunes, sometimes making up different words just for fun.

My dad was a creative genius. He would tell us the most fabulous stories that he would create with his own imagination, and we could not wait to go to bed each night to listen to these wonderful concoctions. Occasionally he would let each of us pick a word or two and then would incorporate those words into the plot to encourage our own creativity and to keep our attention. He also would give us “question tests”, to assess our knowledge in both important and trivial subjects alike.

Even though I have nowhere near the talent he did for those stories, I have started a similar tradition with our oldest son. He is now 10 years old, yet he’d gladly go to bed for me at 7pm as well if he knew he’d get a good story out of the deal. (Do I sense a date night brewing in anyone’s mind?!)

Group ‘em together.

If I’m giving one baby a bath, why not add in two more?! The same goes for story time, prayer, and bedtime around our house. Especially since all 3 little ones currently share a room! It’s much easier on me not to have to repeat the same steps throughout the evening, and then there is the additional blessing of having them all fall asleep around the same time. The children enjoy getting to spend their last moments of the day with one another. It’s a win-win situation.

Stay close by till they’re asleep.

I like to spend some quality time with my older son and husband after the children go to bed at night. Often they’d be waiting for me downstairs in the living room, and I would no sooner go down to meet them before I’d hear the pitter-patter of little feet running across the floor upstairs. After having gone up and down those steps enough times to make a full length work out video, it finally occurred to me that just a few extra minutes upstairs would make all the difference.

If you’re a mama who trains her kids to stay put once they’re tucked in, just knowing you are nearby may be enough to keep them in line, and in bed! I like to peek in and make eye contact every few minutes until they are asleep. This saves me loads of time and frustration!

Start the day with praise!

Every morning we like to greet the new day with singing, dancing, and praising God together as a family. We use a variety of dvd’s, cd’s, musical instruments and dancing scarves to keep things interesting. At night, we almost always end up talking about how fun it’s going to be to worship God together again in the morning, as this is just a bit of enticement for them to get to sleep more quickly. Hey, it works, and I say if it doesn’t hurt anything, then go for it!

If you’d like the chance to win one of our favorite family time praise dvd’s, stop over and check out my giveaway, sponsored by the legendary Donut Man! I know you’ll love him as much as we do!

Enjoy the moment.

Before we know it, our children will be old enough to get to sleep all by themselves, and will grow out of wanting bedtime stories each night. Keeping this in mind helps me to continue on in joy, even on nights where things aren’t working out according to plan.

Let’s join together to give thanks to God for the opportunity to care for the children he’s entrusted to us, remembering to “put on” the grace he offers us to make an impact in their lives, one day (or night) at a time.

How do you make bedtimes better for your little ones?

Leah enjoys a simple life as wife and home schooling mama to 4- ages 9,3,2, and (almost) 1! Through the Lord’s strength and amazing grace she has overcome a past of drug addiction, approval addiction, and atheism, and now knows her true identity as a child of the King! Recently challenged by personal hardship, Leah started her blog, Dance And Be Glad, to share her heart and testimony of the power of God to bring joy, health, and healing back into our homes.

Image credit peasap

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Take my Survey: Breastfeeding vs. Return of Menstrual Cycle

Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 10:00:37 +0000

As a mom who delays solids, nurses for an extended period of time and offers nighttime nursing for most of the first year, my cycle takes its sweet time returning.

However, I know that this isn't the case for every mom. I hear anecdotally from a lot of moms that even frequent nursing or nighttime nursing does not prevent their cycle from coming back, and plenty of moms conceive again when their baby is under a year old (and sometimes even less than 6 months old).

This often surprises me, because what I have read about the nursing hormone prolactin is that it should suppress the other hormones required for a woman's menstrual cycle to return. In theory, this means that during the early months and even the first year when nursing is baby's primary form of nourishment, she shouldn't be able to conceive again. Theoretically speaking.

Wouldn't it be interesting to explore the actual statistics of regular moms, to find out at what point and under what circumstances their own cycle returned? Inquiring minds want to know. Or at least, mine does.

So, I decided to conduct my own very formal and official survey. :)

It would be too complex to add too many more fields to the survey. I kept the survey relatively simplistic, which means that I won't be able to accurately take into account special circumstances, like a mom or baby being sick, going on vacation without baby for a period of time, a season of high stress in the mom's life, etc.

Would you fill out my survey and help to satisfy this curious little brain of mine?

Please take my survey!

I promise, I will share the results of the survey with you all!

Any guesses as to what my survey will discover? What do you think about the breastfeeding/Fertility relationship?

Image by Daquella Manera

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Feeding Babies: A Relaxed, Common Sense Approach

Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 10:00:56 +0000

When I had my first baby, I was strangely eager to feed her "real" food. I couldn't wait to break out those baby spoons, to start grinding up food in my blender and moving in to that next stage of babyhood. I began when she was around 5 1/2 months old, a reasonable age I figured. I even drew up a lovely Type A chart for my fridge, to record her every bite, her reaction to each food, and how many days I waited before the next introduction.

My darling girl, however, had different plans. Her reaction to the food? Yawn... ho, hum. What's all the fuss about solids, mama? More milk, please!

A bit dismayed and confused, I backed off for a while. I continued to hesitantly offer a bit of food over the course of the next several months, and though she took it from time to time, she didn't truly care or seem to need it until she was more like 9 or 10 months.

Fast forward two and a half years. Now I had a little guy who's starting to approach that magical age of six months. I decide to play it a bit more relaxed this time, going far beyond 6 months to ensure that his gut is ready to handle and digest food. At around 7 or 8 months, I began to oh-so-slowly introduce my homemade babyfoods, one at a time. Success! He loves it, he's ready for it, and I didn't stress myself out by trying too early.

Then, while pregnant with my third this past spring, I read something that shook me up just a little bit more: Real Food for Mother and Baby, by Nina Planck.

Being the careful, cautious mother that I am, I had always made my baby's meals with whole, nourishing foods. I slowly introduced them, one by one, working from smooth purees to gradually chunkier combinations. I thought I had it all figured out.

Enter Nina's casual yet common sense approach. So long as it's "real" food (that is, foods that are old, traditional, whole, and were eaten by our great-grandparents), allow baby to eat it without fuss, without comment, without pureeing, without stress. Could it really be so simple?

Bless the babies of experimental moms like me. They get to be the guinea pigs of all our brilliant (and not-so-brilliant) ideas. Thankfully, Johanna is a pretty chill third child, and her mama has gone from being a bit of a basket case to a rather easy-going, relaxed, "sure, why not?" kind of mom.

Image by xlordashx

Here are my oh-so-brilliant and oh-so-precise methods for feeding my darling girl:

1. Wait until she's good and old. I had visions of 8 or 9 months, but this particular child seemed ready at about 7 1/2. I went with the flow. In the meantime, I gave her nothing but lots of warm, delightful, nourishing, always-available breastmilk for as long as I could.

2. Cook regular meals for the rest of the family.

3. Find something in those meals that seems to be safe for baby (ie. soft enough to gum, nothing that might cause a choking hazard, no grains until baby's digestive system is a little more mature around a year old). My first picks? Ground beef and liver, lightly cooked egg yolk, boiled sweet potato, steamed cauliflower or broccoli with butter, ripe banana, soft avocado chunks.

4. Break into small-ish pieces (note the precision) with your fingers. Put baby in a chair or on your lap. A bib is nice.

5. Allow baby to go for it.

6. Sweep floor thoroughly (this is in bold, because yes, it is necessary).

7. Repeat the next day.

Here's what I didn't do:

Record what I fed her.
Puree anything. At all. The closest I've come is to use a fork to lightly mash something. And she had some homemade applesauce because my older children were eating some.
Use a spoon or a bowl.
Wait several days between each new food introduction.
Worry about how much she did or didn't eat.

The result? A happy baby who has not rejected a single thing I've offered her, including a myriad of different vegetables and liver. A happy mama who is able to sit and eat her own dinner with both of her hands, and who has saved herself the time and effort of preparing ice cube trays full of baby food.

Image by chimothy27

But What About...

Food allergies and sensitivities

A main reason that babies have reactions to foods is because they are fed too early. Babies that are given solids before six months (and many are fed as early as 3-5 months) do not have digestive systems that are capable of completely breaking down foods. Instead they have a "open gut" which means that particles of food (usually food proteins that their systems are not able to fully digest) make it through microscopic holes in the gut lining and into the blood stream. There, these particles create an allergic reaction, as the body treats them like foreign invaders.

By putting off solids until at least 6 months and longer if possible, the risk of food sensitivities greatly decreases. At this point baby is creating more of their own digestive enzymes and the "open gut" has matured and closed up.

Of course, if you already have severe allergies in the families (dairy, gluten, peanuts, etc.) then it would be wise and prudent to avoid these foods for as long as possible, and then only offer them in a very controlled and careful way the first few times to be able to observe any reaction to them.

Getting enough food

One of the things that I love most about this method of feeding is that it keeps breastfeeding as a priority and the main focus of baby's diet. So long as mom is offering the breast often and ensuring that her own diet/beverages are sufficient to keep up an ample milk supply for a larger baby, this solves the problem of whether the baby gets enough to eat. Baby will gradually begin to eat more and more of what they are offered (and begin to request more as well) as their needs and appetite grow.

Until my babies are around a year old, I offer breastmilk before I offer food. I don't make this an absolute firm rule, nor do I decide to not let them have food at lunch because I haven't been able to sit down and nurse them yet. It's simply a mindset of breastmilk being their primary food, and solids being secondary. This gradually shifts as baby grows bigger and becomes more and more interested in and capable of eating solids. The shift occurs naturally, I've found, if I let it happen that way.

But my baby is hungry before six months old...

I hate to say this, because it sounds insensitive or judgmental, and that is absolutely not how I want it to come across. But, when moms tell me this my first thought is that they may simply may not be making breastfeeding the priority.

(And I KNOW that there are absolutely exceptions to this and the occasional mom who just really, really struggles with her milk supply no matter what she tries, so please know that there is no criticism at all if you are one of those moms. I applaud your efforts to breastfeed in spite of difficulties!)

It takes a LOT to feed a growing baby. A lot. I eat and drink non-stop all day long, in order to continue to breastfeed my 8 1/2 mth old daughter (who is a bit of a roly-poly, chunky monkey, which equals a healthy baby). I feed her usually 1-3 times between 7pm-7am, and then another 4-6 times throughout the day. That's a lot of milk and I would be lying to say that it's effortless on a mama's part to keep making enough milk to satisfy a hungry, growing baby.

In my experience with my three babies, it takes commitment on my part. 100% commitment to maintaining as much milk as my little one needs means that I nurse more often, I don't try to force them to sleep through the night if they still need the milk, I add extra nursing sessions if my supply wanes, and I snack and sip continually. Yes, it's a bit more effort, but it's well, well worth it.

Can baby handle foods that aren't pureed?

From my experience and what I've read, yes, most babies can. There will be the odd baby that struggles with some of the chunkier textures or has a stronger gag reflex. In those cases, just calmly observe and make a decision that only you as the parent can make. If it doesn't work for your baby, then do something different. It's as simple as that.

I've linked to some excellent posts below, both of which address the choking and texture issues, which I think you will find helpful. They also get into many more of the specific details and reasoning behind this method of feeding babies. It is referred to in many different ways, including Baby-Led Solids or Baby-Led Weaning (referring to the entire process of weaning a baby from exclusive breastfeeding to solids to weaning from the breast). Both posts link to some other useful articles and books as well.

Feeding Baby Naturally: What, When & How

Baby Essentials That Aren't, Part 7: Baby Food

Real Food for Mother and Baby: The Fertility Diet, Eating for Two, and Baby's First Foods(the book that started it all, for me at least)

Has anyone tried this approach to feeding their baby? What has your experience been like?

Image by Charlotte Speaks

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