It was nearly one year ago that I first began to share about my experience with burnout.

Last January, I shared very candidly about the circumstances and lifestyle choices I had made that had pushed me to a place of spiritual, mental and physical breakdown. It was undoubtedly one of the hardest times of my life, and yet I have learned so much and come so far since that time, that a friend encouraged me to share what my journey out of burnout has looked like.

A Timeline

This is sort of an bird's eye view of the journey that I've been on:

• August 2009- Birth of third child
• Fall 2009- Began a season of challenging life circumstances, and did not allow myself to rest and recover from birth, but instead pushed myself too hard to keep going, started writing a new book, and landed myself in the hospital with a serious infection
• Winter 2009/10- More family health issues (mostly my husband), lost several family members to cancer, travelling for work.
• Spring 2010- Frantically trying to complete my 2nd book, prepare to launch a new website, attend another work conference, and move into a new home.
• Summer 2010- Launched second website, moved, tried to keep up with gardening and preserving, all the while beginning to experience early signs of burnout and depression.
• Fall 2010- Realized that I was really becoming undone, started admitting that I needed help, made a plan to sell my new website, but still pushing myself as we began the new homeschool year and I kept up with both businesses.
• Early Winter 2010- Finalized details for selling website, began to make plans for rest and recuperation in the New Year.
• Winter 2011- Website officially sold in early January. Started Wellness series here on Keeper of the Home. Began reading as much as I could on depression, adrenal fatigue and spiritual depression. Started to allow myself to rest, began taking supplements and eating specifically to heal my body, and significantly cut back my schedule, both work and personal. Took a 2 day personal retreat.
• Spring 2011- Starting to feel that the fog is truly lifting. Energy is returning, after 2 months spent doing very little but resting. The spring sunshine helps a lot. I continue to try to give myself more grace to rest and recover, and undertake a one-week physical cleanse to rejuvenate my body. Prepare to go to the Philippines with Compassion International.
• Summer 2011- Travel to the Philippines (an amazing trip), return home to discover that my friend who was battling cancer is now terminal, and also that I am newly pregnant with #4. Spend the summer trying to rest, doing the bare minimum in the home, grieving and spending time with our friend and especially her family after she passes in July. Realize that although I am better in so many ways, I still don't have a lot of extra reserves for taxing circumstances.
• Fall 2011- Energy is returning with the pregnancy. Spend some time working for our family music school, in addition to my business, but this time my husband and I make a plan for extra childcare and household help, and I postpone starting homeschool until my work load lightens up. Perhaps I'm learning a little. :)

Caring for Myself- a Novel Idea That Actually Works

This brings me to these past couple of months, during which I have continued to find new ways to keep a more manageable schedule and do things that keep my body and spirit healthy.

I signed up with the Hello Mornings challenge, to give myself the added inspiration to get up early for exercise and regular time with the Lord. This was one of the best things I did this fall. I had to force myself to go to bed earlier as much as I could (always a good thing).

The physical exercise was so refreshing and has helped me to remain mostly comfortable and energetic as I pass the 30 week mark in this pregnancy. The regular time with God each morning was simply healing and life-giving. I needed it so much more than I knew.

I've been careful to ensure that I am getting enough irons, minerals, cod liver oil (fatty acids and Vit A and D), among other things throughout the pregnancy, like eating enough protein and trying to drink plenty of water. I also did a 2-month sugar-free diet (along with a host of other food restrictions) to help heal my gut and reduce Candida yeast, which I know has been helpful. I don't succeed every day at doing/eating everything I should, but being as consistent as I am able to really does make a noticeable difference.

Balancing Blogging with Life

Learning to balance blogging work with life has also been an important part of my journey. Here are a few things that I have given up:

• Most social media. I am still on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest, but my participation level is very, very minimal (5 minutes per day or less, and sometimes not at all).
• Writing as often. I have brought on more writers over this past year, and this has been such a good decision. They add so much amazing knowledge and unique perspectives, and writing only twice per week (for KOTH- I do some other writing as well) is manageable and enjoyable for me.
• Doing it all myself. I have increasingly been hiring work out, like design or technical work, and have added a fabulous Virtual Assistant, Lindsey, to the KOTH team.
• Book writing. I took a year and a half off of writing anything beyond my blog and a few online articles for other sites. No new book projects, until just this past month when I took on two small projects that I felt I was finally ready for.
• Working during the day. My goal is to not get on my computer before noon (except for checking in with my Hello Mornings group and putting up the newest post on Facebook). Other than that, I aim to spend my mornings exercising, doing devotions, serving breakfast, and then homeschooling. This has been immensely helpful. Instead, I work on Tuesday afternoons (with a mother's helper), in the evenings after the children are in bed, and just recently on Fridays when my husband is able to be home with the children, and occasionally pop on to check email in the afternoons. I try to avoid doing much on the weekends as well, and no more crazy late nights or early mornings.

Has All of This Really Made a Difference?

In a word, yes.

I wouldn't say that I am back to the ideal place that I would like to be, healthwise. I am probably back to functioning at about a 90% capacity, but compared to those times a year ago when it was more like 20-40%, that is a vast improvement.

I still occasionally struggle with mild depression. I still sometimes push myself too hard and begin to feel that burnt out feeling. I can tell when my stress levels are too high, because I begin to sleep more poorly, find myself irritable and emotional, and get eczema on my hands. I'm more aware of how I am doing, and am quicker to take steps to make things better.

There's a reason this post is about my journey, not simply my recovery. It is truly a journey, one that I am definitely still on.

I have learned so much through this experience:

• I really, honestly cannot do it all. Not even close.
• I need to be far more dependent on the Lord than I ever realized before.
• It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help.
• It is not a sign of weakness to need to rest.
• When we pick up extra things, something else has to give. The equation doesn't work if we constantly add, add, add and never subtract.
• Caring for my physical body and my emotional health is not selfish. It enables me to care for my family from a place of wholeness and strength.
• Life is meant to be enjoyed, something I still struggle with. But it is a very good and God-given thing to have fun, to laugh, to take delight in people and experiences and the things that He has given us.
• Our bodies are intricately and wonderfully made. The Lord often uses our health to speak to us, if we're willing to listen.
• No amount of personal productivity, or success in meeting my own goals, or even doing "good" things for others, is worth damaging my relationships with God or my family for. Ever.

Thank you for letting me share my story, both last year and now. I am thankful and humbled to be in community, not only with the women in my "real" life who have loved me so well, but also with all of you. So many of you shared your stories and struggles so vulnerably as well, and it is a privilege to walk this journey with you.

Have you ever walked through a season of burnout? What have you learned about keeping yourself healthy, and what actions do you take when you feel yourself becoming unbalanced?

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What's on your walls? Is it meaningful? Is it beautiful?

Earlier this week I talked about how less can be so much more, and why simplicity might be best when it comes to what we have in our homes.

This area, however, is one is which I think that perfectly placed pieces amidst the simplicity are all the more effective in bringing beauty to our homes and speaking peace and hope and truth to our hearts... 

These stunning art prints are the creative work of Emily from Hope Ink Art. She designs scripture art and other personalized designs, intended to convey the timeless truth of the Word of God and to inspire hope in our homes.

Emily is a stay at home mom, homeschooling her 4 kiddos, and she loves creating scripture art to help support their family's non-profit counseling ministry.

{isn't this perfect for a men's gift? Emily originally created it as a Soldier's Prayer Psalm 91}

We have several pieces of her art in our home, and I treasure them because they are another way to (as my dear friend Sondra always says) to

"put something where your eye can see it, so that it will remind your heart"

That's what's I'm trying to do as I slowly build up our repertoire of beautiful wall art- to find a combination of things that please the eye and speak truth to the heart.

This one is a close-up of a couples print based on 1 Corinthians 13. My husband and I have a personalized mounted print in deep red (you can see it in this older post- note that the giveaway in that post has long ended- you have to enter on this post!).

The mounted prints are have a gorgeous, professional-quality finish to them, and similar to a painter's canvas, they are lightweight and about an inch thick, easy to hang on the wall.

The art prints are printed by a professional photo lab on premium, archival quality paper, intended to last forever.

These examples are just a small selection of the lovely work that Emily carries in her shop.

Any print or mounted print can be customized. You can choose the colors and customize names or wording (depending on which piece it is) to make it just right for yourself or to give as a gift. We have given several prints as wedding gifts and they have been very well received. If you have a specific idea, just ask Emily and see if she can do it.

Would you like to be entered to win Family Rules Scripture Art Print ($65 value, winner chooses color)?

Here's what you need to do to be entered: 

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• 1000th Post Party Giveaway: Marie-Madeline Studio Fabric and Patterns
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Written by Beth Corcoran, Contributing Writer

It is finally Christmas time again!  Oh how I love this time of year!  I love the sights and smells and the time with family.  I love how people seem more neighborly at Christmas, and I love to see how my little ones’ eyes light up when they see Christmas lights.

But one thing my husband and I have grown increasingly aware of over the past few years is that our love for Christmas traditions should pale in comparison to our love for the Reason for Christmas—Jesus Christ.

I have seen many good ways to add meaningful worship into our Christmas traditions.  The Jesse Tree is a great example of this.  However, our family became convicted that we needed to evaluate the worth of traditions we currently had in place before we added new ones. It has, undoubtedly, been a very interesting journey for us.  I’d like to share some of what we have learned.  (Disclaimer: I’d like to note that this is not meant to be prescriptive, but rather just a description of what we have done.  It is meant only as encouragement and edification.)

We want to intentionally point all of our Christmas celebration to Christ, and not to worldy traditions with no value.

Our journey began with a homeschooling assignment.  My children love to make lapbooks, and when I saw an offer for a free Christmas lapbook, I jumped on it.  The purpose of the lapbook was to learn the history behind many different Christmas symbols and traditions and to document them for future reference.

However, in preparing the lessons, I gained a new awareness of just how many of our common Christmas traditions were deeply rooted in paganism. (By paganism, I am referring to pagan cultures—mainly the Druids and Celts.)

After  much thought and prayer, my husband and I decided to move forward with the lapbook assignment, but to tweak it a bit.  As our family discussed each tradition or symbol of Christmas, our kids were to evaluate them and put them into one of three categories.  The traditions could be classified as being rooted in Christianity, as being rooted in paganism but redeemable, or as being rooted in paganism and not redeemable.

You may be wondering at this point what I mean by redeemable.   The word “redeem” stirs my soul like no other word.  It means to buy back or to give value to something previously worthless.

It was God’s plan for redemptive sacrifice that makes Christmas worth celebrating. What a lovely word!!  When I refer to a Christmas symbol as being redeemable, I am meaning that it came out of pagan celebrations, but it can be “bought back” by Christians to make it point to Christ.

Photo credit vl8189

How to Evaluate a Tradition

I was amazed at how our family pursued learning about Christmas traditions with such vigor.  My children, though small, were able to firmly grasp whether something was worthless or could point to the Lord.  Let me give you a few examples.

Many Christmas traditions have a deeply Christian and biblical background.

A great example of a Christmas symbol that has roots in Christianity is the candy cane.  Its colors, shape and flavor are great ways to share Christ at Christmas.  If you are unfamiliar with the story of the candy cane, there are many great resources.  Click here for a cute children’s book about the candy cane.

Many, if not most of the Christmas symbols, for us, have fallen into the “pagan but redeemable” category.

This just means that we have to create a new meaning for them as we explain them to others.  A great example of this is the Christmas tree.  The use of the Christmas tree started in Druid ceremonies. But now we can use this evergreen to point to the everlasting nature of Christ.  The triangular shape of the tree also reminds us of the Trinity.  We think of Jesus at Christmas, but really all three persons of the Trinity were intimately involved.  Other examples of “redeemable” symbols for us have included items such as stockings and ornaments.

The last category included symbols that were rooted in pagan rituals and really had never been adapted to point to Christ.

We were amazed to find how many of these things we had incorporated into our home at Christmas without even thinking about it.  Now that we are thinking intentionally about Christmas, we have eliminated these symbols and traditions from our home.  A great example for us is mistletoe.  Who doesn’t love a good kiss as they enter the house?! But we learned that mistletoe had been a symbol of fertility in pagan worship and kissing under the mistletoe was a Celtic tradition.  Hanging mistletoe in the entryway of the home came from the belief that it warded off evil spirits.  Honestly, our family couldn’t really find a way to make this fit with our worship of Jesus, so we eliminated it.

I won’t lie.  Sometimes purging some of our traditions has been a bit sad because we had fond memories from childhood.  Sometimes, however, we haven’t even noticed something was missing in our home (like the mistletoe!).  But it has been so freeing for us to evaluate our beliefs and traditions at Christmas, rather than blindly conforming to the world.

We were amazed at how many traditions we followed just because that’s what our parents had done.  But when asking our parents why they did them, they didn’t know either.  What freedom comes from being intentional with our worship and celebration!  You may choose to categorize traditions differently than we did.  That's fine!  Really, in the end, it all comes down to bringing God the most glory possible.

Have you ever intentionally thought through your Christmas celebration?  What have you done to redeem your traditions?

**This was originally posted on Nov.30, 2010. I think it's such a wonderful post for helping us to be intentional as we examine and plan for our family's Christmas traditions. The season gets to busy, so this is a perfect time to consider how your family will celebrate Christ's birth this year!**

Top image by Mukumbura

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

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Outside the window, leaves of crimson and burnt orange shiver on the trees, and every once in a while, a cluster of them swirl to the ground as a gust of wind blows urgent. The seasons have shifted and I find that as the weather turns chilly and the sun hides its face and the branches become bare, I turn inward, physically and mentally.

Physically, I begin to look at my home as the lack of warmth and the steady drips of West Coast rain draw us inward, more home-bound than we have been for months. The time spent indoors causes me to open my eyes to my surroundings and in doing so, I become more critical. I notice the lack of organization, the need for deep cleaning, the clutter, all of the projects that have remained on my to-do list far too long.

Mentally, I begin to crawl inside my skin. The outer chaos that I notice in my home eats away at me. Words like failure, bad homemaker, undisciplined, disorganized, and messy begin to surface.

Realization of these outward evidences of my inward mess and imperfection eat away at me sometimes. I seem to go in seasonal patterns, and one such pattern is a sudden urge to remake my life, to purge, to re-organize, to get myself in order. I pull out stacks of how-to books, try to get myself inspired and motivated, and figure out just why it is that I can't get it all together.

I tend to overlook the obvious. The reason is simple.

I'm a mess.

And so are you.

We're all messy and that's ok.

Just because I run a blog called "Keeper of the Home" does not mean that I am an exemplary homemaker. Far from it. Would you like to know some of the things that I just cannot do?

• I can't tell you the last time I cleaned baseboards, windowsills, windows, or walls (aside from obviously needed spot cleaning).
• Though I keep the downstairs guest bathroom clean enough, our master bathroom is prone to fits of unsanitariness (yes, it's a real word now because I just used it and you know what I mean) every few weeks until I finally stop ignoring it.
• I just made bread again for the first time in several months. And it wasn't soaked or sourdough.
• My kids bathe once a week. When they're good and stinky and they really need it.
• My cell phone is never charged, the keys often disappear, the minivan is full of crumbs and random garbage from our various outings.
• I have to keep things I've borrowed from others beside my front door, in hopes that they might make it back to those gracious individuals at some point in time. It still usually takes a couple of months.
• Don't even ask my friends what a joke it is to leave me a message on the answering machine.
• As summer ended, I left the garden to its own devices. Just yesterday, I finally cleaned out one of the six garden beds, and only because I was getting dangerously close to not having my garlic planted in time before winter. (And no, I didn't manage to get the garlic actually in the ground before we needed to leave for my daughter's ballet lesson, but at least I tried.)
• We're mostly on target with homeschooling, but we're had many days where we just couldn't get through the more involved topics like history or geography or science, and had to resort to the basics... language arts and math. The 3 R's, right?

It needs to be said, so very often, that none of us can do it all. We're feeble. We're human. We're weak. We're imperfect.

We're all just such a lovely mess. Together. I think that there is something powerful that happens when we are willing to say out loud to each other that we don't have it all together and we can't keep up with everything and though one area of our life might look amazing there are others that don't look nearly so pretty if we were to throw open our closet doors and lift up the bedskirts and let others see our dustbunnies and cobwebs and dirty socks.

We need to give each other permission to be imperfect also, and then we can point one another in the direction of the ultimate Grace-Giver himself. Because he gives grace that covers sticky floors and laundry piled up and scrambled eggs for dinner (again).

So where do we go from here?

I don't think this means that we just give up, throw our hands in the air and surrender to our messy ways, our misplaced priorities, or whatever others areas in which we struggle. We acknowledge them, we accept grace for them, we love others (and hope that they will love us, too) in spite of them, and we rely upon the only perfect One for saving grace, and strength that we could never conjure up ourselves.

I don't know what you need today. A reader commented last week that when she reads posts encouraging her to be more efficient and productive, she feels burdened by this Martha mentality of doing, doing, doing, when what she needs is to be encouraged to be a Mary, to serve and praise and just be in the midst of the messiness. Perhaps that's you right now.

If you need to allow yourself that space to just be, you might appreciate some of these reads:

Unity of the Sisterhood (and how we tear down masks of perfectionism, embracing one another just as we are, in God's freedom)

Imperfection (sharing all the things we don't do)

2 Reasons Why You Might Feel Overwhelmed 

One Thousand Gifts (learning to name and be thankful for the gifts He gives is a powerful way to learn to live fully, in the midst of the mess)

Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try Hard Life (the next book on my reading list, for obvious reasons- also visit Emily's blog, Chatting at the Sky, for a breath of fresh air)

Or is it time to make some changes?

For some of us, although we need to recognize that we are messy and imperfect (and still accepted and cherished and valuable all the while), we also need to take responsibility for our weaknesses and pushing forward to make some changes, however small or simple they may be.

This is very much where I am at. Spending time reading and reflecting on the fact that I can't do it all and accepting grace for my imperfection. But at the same time, I know that I am the cause of some of my struggles right now (like a cluttered and disorganized house that is causing me unnecessary stress and work) and that by taking some simple steps, there can be positive change.

Here are a few resources that might give you a gentle nudge in the right direction, without overwhelming you:

21 Days to a More Disciplined Life (I'm really appreciating this series from Money Saving Mom, recognizing that as much as we might actually be the problem, there is so much hope when we realize that we are also the solution, and that we can take small, incremental steps towards positive changes and reaching goals that we set)

31 Days to Clean (this popular 31-day ebook encourages you to look makes changes in your home, but by balancing a Mary heart with some Martha challenges)

Organized Simplicity (this is what I will be working through over the next two weeks, because I've recognized that my unwillingness to take some time to de-clutter and rethink the purpose of the rooms in our home has led to unnecessary stress and time spent on maintenance)

One Bite at a Time (if you're looking for some simple, manageable steps that you can do one at a time, as you're ready, Tsh has brought together a great selection of projects and organizational tasks that can help you to streamline your home and bring more peace)

Can you relate to being a "mess"? In what ways are you aware that you can't do it all? Would you like to share some of them, just to join in collectively as we announce that we are frail, imperfect, messy women?

Top image by Ian Sane

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Written by Kate Tietje, Contributing Writer

Last month, I wrote about dealing with challenging behavior.  I wrote out my absolute best intentions in that post -- how everything would be in a perfect world.  I'd be happy and patient and I'd mete out discipline lovingly, and there would never be any yelling or crying in my home.  I'd have an endless ability to deal with whatever my children threw at me, and I'd never let their antics destroy my positive attitude.

If you've been a mother for more than five minutes, you might be laughing right now, because you know that's impossible.  Only Jesus was perfect.  The rest of us?  Well, we fail daily.  I fail daily.

And that's okay.

Motherhood Isn't Perfection

I almost feel bad, writing all of these lofty thoughts here, about how I'm striving for joy and to have a positive attitude and to be a patient mother.  I'm afraid I'm one of the most impatient people out there, really, and that I don't manage to keep my perfect attitude all the time.

I intend to do well. Really.  But sometimes those intentions turn into looking back at the thing I shouldn't have done or said, and reflecting on what I should have done or said instead.  Oops.

I tell myself as the noise level rises -- with all the children crying, screaming at each other, smacking each other -- that I will not let this get to me.  I will rise above it.  I will separate them calmly and I will distract them, I will talk to them and listen to them and meet their needs, and everything will be okay.  Sometimes that's what happens.  Sometimes one of them turns on my newborn and hurts him, and I lose it.  I can't stand to see the defenseless one hurt, and if my stress level's already high?  I break down.

Then, for a few moments, I feel like the worst mother in the world, because, really, what am I doing?  Here I am, preaching about patience and having a positive attitude and loving our children no matter what, and I just screamed at one of mine?  Not to mention how the child now feels.  I've had one of them sob, "But I love you..." when I was short and snippy and in a bad mood.

I fail.  Everyday. I have good intentions and I strive to meet them, but I still fail.

I Need Grace

The Lord's grace is sometimes the only reason I feel that things are going to be okay.  Sure -- most days aren't that bad.  Most days are pretty neutral, with a few negative (but not terrible) moments, and mostly good moments.  We're okay.  But we have those bad days, too, where all I can do is pray for grace.

What a wonderful gift that it is, too!  It's the main reason that my children are getting to know the Lord, even though I'm still struggling to find my way as a Christian mother.  It's the main reason they love me even when I am not especially pleasant to be around

I was trying to explain the concept of the Lord's sacrifice and resulting grace/forgiveness to my children a few weeks ago. It was a Friday night and we'd been listening to praise and worship songs while we worked in the kitchen for awhile.  I decided to try to explain Jesus' death and resurrection, since one of the songs was about it.  It's something I've heard about all my life and I often think, Yes, sure, it's so awesome... But I don't feel anything.  It's something I've always known.

But when I tried to explain it, I found I could barely even talk.  I wanted to cry. It was that amazing.

Not that my kids really get it yet.... :)  They are 2 and 3.5, so they're quite young.  My 2-year-old now walks around saying "Jesus killed.  Jesus back.  YAY!  Pay sins."

Imperfection is Good

The other day, my 2-year-old walked up to me and smacked me in the face.  I pushed him away and said, "You get down right now.  You can't sit with me if you are going to hit me like that."

My 3-year-old matter-of-factly said to me, "Mommy, it's not nice of you to treat him like that."

She was right.

It wasn't that it was wrong to tell him he shouldn't hit me.  He needed to know that part.  But he didn't need me to compound it by pushing him away, yelling at him.  So I replied, "You're right, it's not.  Mommy shouldn't do that, and I'm sorry."

They need to see that we are weak, and that we need forgiven, too.

When we make mistakes as mothers, we need to humble ourselves and admit it to our children and ask for their forgiveness. I struggle with this.  I don't want to be humble.  I don't want to be wrong.  I want to say whatever I do is justified because "I'm the mommy."  But that isn't true.  If I can learn to be humble and ask them to forgive me, then they will grow to do the same thing.  They'll know it's okay to make mistakes, and better to ask for forgiveness.  And they'll know they are loved even when they make those mistakes.

I think, when we are raising children who are also imperfect people, that this lesson is even more important than trying to be perfect all the time in the first place.  We're not.  What does it teach our children if we pretend that we are?  I think it makes them see us as hard, unfair, proud.  It also could make them feel like they are the only ones who fail.  Whatever happens, it's not good for their relationship with us or the Lord.

I'll be imperfect, I'll thank the Lord for His grace, and I'll strive to do better everyday. That's all I can do.

If you need a reminder, please join our link-up this month, Positive Attitudes and Living for Joy, each Friday!

Do you ever feel hit by how much you need the Lord's grace?  Have you ever had a child say something that made you feel especially humble?

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One thing that really stands out to me about women (and maybe just people in general, but I notice it strongly in myself and my own gender) is that we crave control.

We want things to go our way. In our time. According to our desires.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

When I was younger, I used to naively think that this meant we could get the things that we wanted if we just did our best to serve and love God. The right husband, the perfect children and family, stable finances, a lovely home, a peaceful life.

The older I get and the more life experiences I walk through, I realize that the point of this verse is far more about delighting in the Lord and having our wills conformed to His, rather than having our every whim fulfilled. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee you that life will not go the way that you or I desire. There will be pain, loss, frustration, disappointment, confusion, difficulty, trials, heartache- the results of living in a sin-saturated, broken world as broken people.

What does it mean to truly delight in the Lord and submit our wills and desires to Him fully?

This is a question that Heather Bixler struggled with herself, and as she walked her own journey of learning to pry her fingers open from the things that she desired, and allow the Lord to show her what it meant to delight herself in Him alone, she realized that she needed to share it with others.

The fruit of her journey has been the 47-page ebook devotional, Desires of My Heart, based on Psalm 37:4. It's not as much a Bible study as it is an exploration of these issues (control, pride, humility, fear, faith, brokenness, intimacy with God), how they affect of us, testimonies of faith from other women, and encouragement to examine your own heart and learn to say "yes" to what the Lord has for you, as you drink deep of the peace and joy that comes from delighting solely in Him.

Get Your Own Copy for $0.99!

To keep it affordable and accessible to anyone, Heather has generously kept the price at a mere $0.99 (regular $2.99)! At that price, anyone can pick up a copy of this to use for their morning or evening devotions, or simply something that you read slowly as you allow God to work in your heart.

It is available in PDF ebook, Kindle and Nook formats. You can purchase it here.

*And just a note that if you happen to win the book, you'll receive a refund for your purchase of the book, so don't let that stop you from getting it if you're interested!*

Enter to Win a Copy Plus a Hand-Stamped Necklace!

She is also giving away two copies of  the Desires of My Heart ebook for my readers, and each copy will include a beautiful hand-stamped necklace with a cross and the words Psalm 37:4 (value $30).

Here's how to get entered (remember to leave a separate comment for each entry):

1. Tell me why you'd like to win this ebook, or if you're willing to get a bit more personal, an area where you struggle with really trusting in the Lord and giving up control.

2. Follow Desires of My Heart on Facebook or Twitter.

3. Subscribe to Keeper of the Home by RSS feed or by email (and be entered to win our monthly email subscriber-only giveaways!).

4. Share about this giveaway through your blog or favorite social media (find us on Facebook and Twitter here).

Giveaway has now ended.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book to review. This post was generously sponsored by Heather Bixler and the book Desires of my Heart.

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Guest Post Written by Erin Odom

Although Tiffany and Micah Childs have two biological children, the couple has always felt led to adopt. But the costs and steps necessary to go through an adoption agency were overwhelming.

"Lord, if this is for us, you need to make this simple," Tiffany prayed.

And God answered in a way the couple would have never imagined.

Image courtesy Tiffany Childs

Giving God Glory through Embryo Adoption

Tiffany and Micah have been friends of mine since high school. When I saw on Tiffany's Facebook page that she was expecting triplets through embryo adoption, I was intrigued--and felt compelled to spread the word about this little-known ministry to "the least of these."

With the increase of in vitro fertilization (IVF), there's been a worldwide influx of fertilized eggs that parents must decide to discard, donate to science (and therefore discard) or give up for adoption.

Adoption is the only option for these babies to have a chance at life.

As a Christian, I believe that life begins at conception--meaning each and every one of these embryos is a real person. The Childs family feels the same way.

"These babies are made in the image of God and they deserve a chance to live," Tiffany said. "They deserve all the things we can provide for them, which is, in the very least, a chance to live. To call a child a child even in its earliest form honors God and brings glory to Him."

Image by simmbarb

Counting the Costs

Of all types of adoption, embryo adoption seems to be the easiest as far as paperwork and legalities go.

Because the medical community and government don't see embryos as life, Tiffany explained, they are not protected as such and are merely considered property.

"It's very easy to adopt," Tiffany said. "You just have to get a transfer of property."

Once Tiffany was diagnosed pregnant, her health insurance kicked in to cover the pregnancy. And her and Micah's names will be listed as the parents on the babies' birth certificates.

Compared to many domestic and especially international adoptions, embryo adoption can be more affordable. Each "transfer" or adoption of embryos can cost as low as $4-$5,000 if going through a private clinic. The downside is that not every transfer results in a pregnancy.

Tiffany encourages families to seek the Lord's guidance in adopting--and to count the costs.

In less than a year, the Childs have lost 7 babies. The first two babies didn't grow once in Tiffany's womb. Three didn't make it through the thawing process, and the last two again didn't make it once transferred.

It was heartbreaking.

"But knowing that those children are with Jesus and no longer frozen is a lovely, precious thought," Tiffany said.

Tiffany is due with her triplets April 6. Even the fact that she is expecting more than two babies is miraculous. Doctors implanted two embryos--but one split into identical twins. There was only a 1 in 10,000 chance that would happen!

Image courtesy Tiffany Childs

Rebecca's Story

After I started working on this post, I received a comment from one of my Humbled Homemaker readers--a new mom of triplets. I checked out Rebecca's blog, and I got chills when I realized she and her husband had adopted the babies as embryos!

Rebecca and Doug Walker have one biological daughter, but they suffered infertility for 8 years before finding out about embryo adoption. They saw it as the answer to so many of their prayers: it was more affordable than conventional adoption, it would allow a pregnancy to help heal Rebecca's severe endometriosis and it would hopefully result in the child or children they longed for!

"When most people think of adoption, they think of adopting babies or young children," Rebecca said. "I once had someone ask me why I didn't adopt a child that was already alive. For my husband and I, we believe that these embryos are lives! Whether a child is running around at a orphanage playground or frozen in a vial in a doctor's clinic, he/she needs a mom and a dad to love them and teach them about their Creator who wants to be their Savior."

The Walker's triplets are now three months old, and the couple--and big sister Audrey--feel immensely blessed.

Image courtesy Rebecca Walker

What about you?

Interested in embryo adoption--or perhaps donating your embryos if you've had IVF in the past? Check out these resources:

• Bethany Christian Services

• Nightlight Christian Adoptions

• National Embryo Donation Center

Had you ever heard of embryo adoption? What do you think about embryo adoption?

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Updated: Thanks to my amazing readers rising to the challenge, we will be providing 4 families with clean, pure drinking water for a LIFETIME! How's that for exciting? :)

Water. So critical, so taken for granted.

We may talk about staying hydrated enough. Make sure that we are using a quality water filtration system to avoid various toxins and chemicals in our water. But what we take for granted is that we are among the privileged few in the world who can turn on a tap in their own home and with no threat to their life or immediate health, drink the water that comes out.

When we were in the Philippines earlier this summer, I was surprised to realize just how critical of an issue clean water really was for so many families. I had no idea that as a result of unclean water, so many diseases that we don't even worry about in North America are still widely prevalent and dangerous in many parts of the world-- Cholera, Typhoid, E. Coli, Amoebic Dysentery, among others.

Right now almost one billion people lack access to safe drinking water. Every 15 seconds a child dies from water-related diseases (source: UN)

It's also an education issue. We take it for granted that parents know the importance of clean, safe drinking water.

The reality is that so many parents living in poverty are lacking in the education that would have taught them these simple but necessary truths. I was astounded to realize just how many young moms honestly didn't know what an impact clean (or dirty) water had on their little ones, and what they needed to do to make the water safer. I watched with a lump in my throat as moms and their toddlers were taught the dangerous of unclean water and how filtration or boiling could help to prevent illness.

Moms need to know. And once they know, they need a way to translate that knowledge into action.

We can be a part of the solution for some families. We may not be able to solve the water crisis for all of the chidlren and families living in desperate circumstances, but we have the ability to do something for some of them.

Compassion International's Water of Life initiative is helping to provide simple yet effective filtration systems to ensure that children and their families can have access to clean, pure, safe water every day:

Maybe your family could consider whether you can find the $55 it takes to provide one entire family with clean drinking water for a LIFETIME! Maybe you could do it together with another family or with a small group that you are a part of.

Buy a Book, Provide Clean Water

Or, you could buy a book! For the next 48 hours (Saturday until Monday morning), use the coupon code CLEAN to take 15% off of the cost of either my ebooks:

Real Food on a Real Budget

Healthy Homemaking

ALL profits from the sales will go straight towards Compassion's Water of Life program.

Let's see how many families we can provide with clean water (and yes, I will let you know the results)!

Images by Keely Scott

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The kids talking to the judge at their adoption

Written by Beth Corcoran, Contributing Writer

Adoption is a topic that is very near and dear to my heart.  And for some time now, I’ve been itching to share my story and my unique family with you.  Today I get the chance!

I have been blessed to be part of an amazing and unique body of Believers that is passionate about adoption.  There are many, many adoptive and foster families at our church that have been a great encouragement through our journey of adoption. But I understand that this is very unique and that adoption may be something completely new or even mysterious to you.

While I don’t intend to run through the process of adoption today, I would definitely like to answer your questions if you want to know more about that aspect of adoption.  If there is something you would like to know more about, feel free to leave a comment.

Our Family’s Adoption Story

Our First Adoption

In 2006, after trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant, we decided to pursue infant adoption.  I think adoption to many is kind of a last resort, but thanks to the example of our amazing church friends, adoption seemed quite normal to us.  So we got our homestudy done and applied to an adoption agency.  Our little Isabella was born in May 2007 and we got to bring her home from the hospital.  The joy that came from that adoption was so intense, and I am so proud of Bella’s courageous birthmom who chose life for her baby.

In February of 2008, when Bella was just 9 months old, we dedicated her at our church.  Our pastor preached and challenged our church to not just say that we are pro-life, but to actually do something about it.  We left that day from church burdened, and less than a week later, we felt strongly that the Lord was calling us to adopt again—but this time, to adopt older children.

The first time I met my daughter

A Journey Into Older Child Adoption

We got our homestudy again, and after waiting for a reply from DHS for several months, we decided to try a private adoption agency in our state.  Although they primarily facilitate infant adoptions, we knew that they had done some older child adoptions before.  So, we sent our paperwork and family scrapbook to them in October of 2008.

On November 4, I was teaching Bible study at church, and someone anonymously left $100 for our adoption on the podium where I was teaching.  I was overwhelmed, especially since we hadn’t let anyone know that because we were choosing a private adoption rather than DHS, we would need a lot more money.  That afternoon, an anonymous check came in the mail.  It was for $4,000 and it said, “for your adoption” in the memo line.  All I can remember is just laying on the floor and weeping, thanking God for His overwhelming goodness to us.

The very next day, I got a call from the adoption agency, asking us if we would be willing to adopt 3 older children, who were 4, 5, and 6 years old at the time.  Concerned about how much adopting 3 children would cost, I asked.  They told me that they would waive the fees, and all we would have to pay is the attorney fees.  Which would total about $4,000.  God had provided us the exact amount we needed, and had also confirmed in our hearts that these children were to be part of our family.

Two days later, we welcomed Micah, Malachi and Liliana  into our family.  To say that this adoption changed things for us is an understatement.  It totally rocked our world.  We were quite unaware of the myriad issues that come along with older child adoptions—behavioral, emotional, physical, etc.  But the Lord has always been faithful to walk us through everything. Now, nearly 3 years later, things still aren’t completely “normal,” but what is “normal” anyway?!

Becoming a Foster Family

Then in late 2009, we heard a story on the news about how there aren’t enough foster families in our area, so babies will leave the hospital and go straight to a state run shelter.  This broke our hearts.  We were reminded of Proverbs 3:27 which says,

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.”

So, we felt the Lord was calling us to become foster parents to babies. We did all the training and in April 2010, we got our first foster baby.  That placement lasted only one week.  After that, we stopped getting calls asking us to take babies.  Instead, we kept getting calls asking us to take older children.  Wanting to meet the need, we took two little boys, who were ages 2 and 4 at the time.

I wish I could tell you so much more about their story, but I’m sad to say that I can’t because technically they are still in foster care and I have to maintain their confidentiality.  But I am so happy to report that within the next week or two, we will be going to court to finalize their adoption! We are so happy that they get to be part of our family legally, since they have been part of our family in our hearts for so many months.

With the judge after finalizing our second adoption

Why Adopt?

I love to talk about why adoption is so wonderful!  It excites me every time!  There are many great and important reasons to adopt—besides the fact that you will have a new child!

A Glimpse of God’s Heart

Adoption has done more to help me to understand God’s heart more than anything else.  I have grown so much spiritually as a result of adoption.  You see, the very act of adoption mirrors what God has done for us through salvation.

Romans 8:15 says, "For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “ Abba! Father!”

I remember looking on tiny baby Isabella and feeling such love for her, even though she hadn’t grown in my womb. Isn’t that how God is towards us?!

Older child adoption has given us a further glimpse into God’s immeasurable love for us.  It’s easy enough to love a tiny (and adorable, I might add!) baby, but it is a completely different thing to love and care for a child who returns your love with hatred and disobedience and is bent on destroying everything in sight because of his anger.  But God has given us a heart to love our children despite those things.

And when I get really frustrated with the latest unimaginable thing one of my kids has done, God gently reminds me that He loves us even when we are in disobedience. Jesus died for us and called us while we were still sinners.  We didn't have to be perfect before God loved us.  When we disobey, He still calls us back into a loving relationship with him.  It’s been very convicting and humbling to see God’s heart through adoption.

Pro-Life Action

My husband and I are very involved with trying to end abortion in our country.  Just as our pastor challenged us a few years ago, I’d like to extend that challenge to you as well.  If you are pro-life, is it in word only, or is it in deed as well?  There are certainly many ways to be pro-life, but one very basic way is to adopt.  By providing a safe, loving and warm home for a child, you are providing a very courageous birthmom with the assurance that she made a good choice for her baby.

A Biblical Mandate

No, adoption is not mandated in the Bible, and you won’t hear me proclaiming that you need to go out and adopt in order to be obedient to the Bible.  However, throughout the Bible are many commands to Believers to defend the cause of the fatherless and the orphan.  Our family’s verse is James 1:27:

"Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

One great way to visit orphans in their distress is to adopt.  There are so many hurting kids out there that so desperately want a loving home.

How to Get Involved With Adoption

For some of you reading this, you may know immediately that God has called you to adopt.

But, perhaps your children are grown and out of the house, and you don't want to adopt more. Or perhaps you have 10 kids already. Let's face it, not everyone is called by God to adopt. And that's fine. But we are all called, as Christians, to take care of orphans--however that looks.

For me, it undoubtedly is through adoption. But maybe for you, it is through giving money so others can adopt. Our adoption was made possible because someone obeyed God's calling of helping orphans by giving us money. Maybe you are supposed to start an orphanage. Or maybe you're supposed to start a ministry at your church. Who knows....it's different for everybody. But we're all supposed to be involved.

I'm curious...Have you adopted or known someone who has? I’d love to hear your stories!

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Written by Sharon Kaufman, Contributing Writer

A womanly legacy worthy of passing on

A while back I began compiling a collection of mini-biographies of Christian women, single, married and widowed, whose lives might inspire us to live godly in this present age as that relates to all of the divinely created helper functions devout women have Biblically and historically fulfilled. The collection has included women helping as wives and mothers and women working in the church and in missions (locally and abroad),  whether single, widowed or married.

In discovering and researching such women, I've realized that any woman who follows Christ for His glory and honor and who has given up her life to be used by Him can be a candidate for this list. Any one of us who lives in this fashion will leave a legacy of love for Christ that will inspire and encourage women who come after us to be the helper God created them to be.

The following is a glimpse of Eliza Spurgeon, mother of Chares Haddon Spurgeon, also know as C. H. Spurgeon. Most of the following information (in quotations) concerning Eliza is penned by her son, Charles, in his autobiography. Any other sources will be noted.

Eliza's children rise up and bless her

Eliza's son James said of her, "She was the starting point of all the greatness any of us, by the grace of God, have ever enjoyed." Both James and Charles were most thankfully indebted to their mother who devoted herself to praying for and actively pursuing the salvation and spiritual welfare of her eight children. (Seventeen children were born to John and Eliza Spurgeon. Of these seventeen, only eight lived past infancy.)

Charles gratefully wrote, "I cannot tell how much I owe the solemn words of my good mother...I remember on one occasion her praying thus: 'Now, Lord, if my children go on in their sins, it will not be from ignorance that they perish, and my soul must bear a swift witness against them at the day of judgment if they lay not hold of Christ.' That thought of my mother's bearing a swift witness against me pierced my conscience...How can I forget when she bowed her knee, and with her arms about my neck, prayed, 'Oh that my son might live before Thee!' "

Finally, Charles awarded his mother great honor when he said of her, "Mrs. John Spurgeon...has been known and esteemed for her sincere piety, her great usefulness and humility... The prayerful solicitude with which she trained her children has been rewarded by each one of them making a public profession of their faith in Christ. Two of her sons occupy foremost places in the metropolis as preachers of the gospel; and one of her daughters, the wife of a minister...assists her husband in the preparation of his sermons.."

And her husband praises her

In another excerpt from his autobiography, Charles wrote in the third person about himself and his siblings as young children in the Spurgeon home: "As the children were growing up, the father, like many professional and public men, feared his frequent absence from home would interfere with the religious education of the little ones. But happily for him he had a true help-meet to cooperate with him in this important work, and happily for those children they had a noble mother who lived for them, and sought to build them up in true Christian character. Nor has she lived unrewarded for her pains. Oh, that all mothers learned the lesson well! Hear the good man speak thus of his wife:

'I had been [away] from home a great deal, trying to build up weak congregations, and felt that I was neglecting the religious training of my own children while I was toiling for the good of others. I returned home with these feelings. I opened the door and was surprised to find none of the children about the hall. Going quietly upstairs, I heard my wife's voice. She was engaged in prayer with the children; I heard her pray for them one by one by name. She came to Charles, and specially prayed for him, for he was of high spirit and daring temper. I listened till she had ended her prayer, and I felt and said, 'Lord, I will go on with Thy work. The children will be cared for.' "

What can we learn from Eliza?

As I discovered Eliza Spurgeon in the pages of Spurgeon - A New Biography by Arnold Dallimore, I marveled at her dedication to her calling to be both a helper to her husband, John, himself a preacher of the gospel, and an advocate for her children. It was, in fact, her advocacy for her children that reveals her husband's great confidence in her as his helpmate. Because she willingly carried the burden of her children's salvation before the Lord, her husband was freed up spiritually, physically and emotionally to do the work God had called him to.

Her devotion to the children, however, was tempered by her supreme love and commitment to her King, seen by her willingness to "bear a swift witness against them" if they rejected Christ as their Lord and Savior. Of course, her prayer, as stated above was an earnest, heartfelt plea to her Heavenly Father that such a calamity would never happen.

Kingdom praying - agonizing as Eliza did

Could you pray thus for your children? I never did for my own children and thinking back, I know that I could not have. They occupied too high a place in my heart, sadly a place higher than Christ. I spoke often to them of the Savior, but in that speaking I was overly confident in my own ability to turn them toward Him. My method of training my children was everything to me and I reasoned that because of my commitment to that method, God was obliged to do His part in saving them.

Because of my self-confidence, I lacked the finely tuned spiritual eyesight that Eliza Spurgeon had. Though I spoke often to my children about Christ, I spoke infrequently to Christ and my Heavenly Father about my children. And when I did it was without the desperation and fervency that characterized Eliza's praying. I preached far too much and prayed far too little.

Thankfully, God delivered me from this folly, but not without cost for the willful independence that characterized me during that time. From that day of freedom and grace to this, I pray for my grown children the way Eliza prayed for her youngsters:

With supreme love for Christ - I pray as Eliza did, with my priorities as they should be for one who follows Christ. He is my first and foremost Love. Though my children no longer occupy that inappropriate place in my heart, it is for this very reason that my love for them is deeper, more powerful and more demonstrative than when they were small. It is my love for Christ and His love for me that continues to put me before the throne of His grace on their behalf. It is His very love in me that empowers me to pray thus.

In humility of mind - I pray with Eliza's humility, knowing that it is the Spirit of God alone who can journey into the regions of the heart and create Light where there is darkness.

With confidence - I pray with Eliza's confidence, knowing that God is kindly disposed to do such work and, in fact, salvation is the very work He desires to do above all else, the work that cost His Son's blood on the Cross.

In surrender to God's will - I pray in total surrender to God's will and to His Kingdom, as did Eliza, knowing that He is not obligated to do my will, the things I would like to see Him do. Though I know this is true, I also know that my Father delights in giving His children good gifts; and that when I pray according to His will He hears and grants the request. One more thing I know to be true is that it is His will and delight to save sinners. So that is how I pray.

With desperation - I pray in desperation, as did Eliza, knowing that should my children continue in their choice to be self-governing, the calamitous day will come when there will be witness born against them before their Judge. Therefore, I pray fervently, as one desperate for His grace for them.

An Extraordinary Challenge

Living each day, doing the same mundane things over and over again and failing often at what God has puts before us,  causes us, at times, to wonder how we could ever be an encouragement to others, let alone leave a legacy of love for Christ. Though this is how we live our lives, God uses the mundane to bring about His eternal purposes. He uses our failings to break anew His grace and mercy to us. As a result we come to walk humbly before Him and His grace always has the last say.

Eliza Spurgeon's life was really is no different than ours. She had to learn to walk by faith in God's grace and mercy just like we do. She served the same God we offer ourselves to, was indwelt by the same Spirit we own and loved the same Savior we now adore.

It is Christ's life lived out through us that transforms our anthology of ordinary days into an extraordinary and eternal legacy of love worthy to pass onto the women, some of which will be our own daughters,  who will come after us. May I challenge you to pursue the ordinary made extraordinary?

Is there a particular woman who has passed an extraordinary legacy of love and godly womanhood onto you? How have you been encouraged to follow in her footsteps?

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