And you know, it is most of those things (well, quick and simple not so much). I love blogging, I really do. I love the people, the things I've learned, the opportunities it has presented me, the ways that I've been challenged and have grown.

There's something I love so much more than blogging, though. My family. My precious children, 2 little ones back when I started and now we're up to 3 with the addition of Johanna this summer. My incredible husband, who has been such an encourager and supporter of me throughout these years of big bloggy dreams. I really, really love my family.

We had a talk the other night, my hubby and I. We agreed that I've been stressed to the max, trying to sustain a constantly growing blog with growing responsibilities, care for my family, do all that needs to be done around the home, and support my husband (often caring for the children by myself from morning til night) through a particularly busy and demanding season of starting a new business. I am really struggling to maintain a professional-quality blog and all that it entails, while still being faithful to my more important priorities. I don't want to continue to be so tired and burnt out, and he doesn't want that for me either.

What makes it especially hard is that there seem to be many women out there who are managing to run busy blogs as well as busy households, and do it all with grace. I have seasons where I feel that I can do it to a degree and other seasons where it feels utterly overwhelming. I am asked so often in comments and by email how on earth I do all that I do. The simple truth is that it's very, very hard and I am one tired woman.

You might be wondering if this is a good-bye post and I'll put your questions to rest right now... no, I'm not going anywhere. Not quite yet, anyways.

I am making a change of pace, though. In the past several months, I've developed a growing vision for my blog and in a sense, a lot of ambition. Many things have been driving me to pursue more and bigger things with my site and as a blogger in general. I see other women doing it and I feel the need to keep up, to grow alongside of them, to continue improving my site and learning to do what I do in a more professional way.

I realized that something in me was starting to say, "My roles are not enough. I want more. I want to be somebody, do something, make something of myself." I didn't see it as being ugly at first, but now I do. It crept up slowly, little thoughts, little desires. Somehow it grew into a burden to maintain this career (because let's face it, when blogging requires this much of you, it's more than just a hobby), even though I knew it was at a cost to my most important of careers, that of being a mother, wife and homemaker.

A few weeks ago we were doing school time and my daughter needed to draw a picture of her mother doing something. I had warm fuzzy thoughts of her drawing me cooking or baking, something in the kitchen, where I spend so much of my time (and often with her by my side). Do you know what she drew? Mama at her computer. It still brings me to tears when I think of it.

I want my children's childhood to be full of memories of a mama who was by their side, playing with them, laughing with them, reading to them, cooking with and for them. Not a mama with a face glued to a computer screen.

I'm tired of trying to be a pro-blogger. I just want to be a pro-mom.

I want all of my energy, creativity and passion to flow into my home and into my relationships with the most important people in my life, and not into some career that won't mean a thing one day when I'm old and wishing I had spent more time with my children during these incredibly precious years that I can never get back.

So yes, I'm still blogging, but not at quite the breakneck speed of the past year or so. I'm toning things down. My book is the last big project that I will be tackling. No more major site changes. No pressure to be some spectacular blogger, who knows how to work social media and commands an impressive audience. Just me. A real mom, talking about things that matter to me. My subject matter won't change, but perhaps the amount of time I put into some of my posts will. If I need to take a day off because my family just really needs me then I will, rather than force myself to burn the midnight oil because there just wasn't time to blog during the day.

I don't really know how it will affect my blog or my traffic. Truth be told, I'm not sure that I care anymore and there's a real freedom in that. One day soon (nope, I'm not sure when), I will put all of this aside and put 100% of my energies into this precious family that God has given me and I won't look back.

I'll leave you with a quote that was brought to mind the other day as I was thinking through all of this, and being renewed in my passion for the glorious task that God has given me to care for my family and home, to support my husband and to love and train my children:

[W]hen people begin to talk about this domestic duty as not merely difficult but trivial and dreary, I simply give up the question. For I cannot with the utmost energy of imagination conceive what they mean. When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery, all the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge [at his work]. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give it up; I do not know what the words mean…. I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children [arithmetic], and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness."
G.K. Chesterton (bold mine)

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There are a lot of things that my husband does that I know very little about. For example, buying and installing more ram for our computers. Or writing a marketing proposal and presenting a sales pitch to the CEO of a company. Or how to set up a set of drums, much less teach aspiring musicians how to play them.

There are a lot of things that I know about that my husband isn't so well versed on. Like all of the benefits of soaking grains and the how-to of doing it. Or how to make a dinner that involves more than stir-fry or toast and cheese (but seriously, the man makes good stir-fry). Or how to use a canner and put up enough home-grown diced tomatoes to last the year.

This isn't just because I am ignorant of electronics, marketing and music, and he is uninformed about nutrition, cooking and homemaking. While that's true to a degree, it goes much deeper than that. We're both intelligent people, capable of learning what we need to in order to fulfill the unique roles we've been given.

Why do I bring all of this up? I hear time and time again from women who want very much to make changes to their family's food buying habits, their diet and their overall nutrition. The problem? Their husbands aren't on board.

I think it's important to point out one of the major reasons that husbands often don't get on board, or at least not as quickly as we hope that they will. This is not their domain.

They are not homemakers. They are not cooks (most of them). They probably do not buy the groceries. They also do not spend the time that we may spend reading books, or blogs, or articles, teaching us why and how to improve our nutrition.

In our family, although my husband is on board, I am the one who pushes the healthy and natural lifestyle changes that we've been making. It's not that my husband is opposed. But, 1) It's not his passion and 2) He doesn't have the time that I do to pour into it and really learn why it all matters. Over the years, I have learned to try to explain to him some of the things that I am learning, why I am making certain changes, why I'm preparing food in a different manner, why I don't want to buy such-and-such anymore, etc. He still doesn't "get it" to the same degree as me (because he's not the one doing all the research), but he respects me and my opinions and he is generally amazing about allowing me to try out these things that I am learning as I seek to serve and care for my family.

For those who are struggling with a bit more resistance, or a husband who is even strongly opposed to changes that you would like to make, here are a few suggestions:

1) Don't let this issue become a stumbling block in your marriage.

I think that nutrition, health, good stewardship and all the other issues that I write about are important (or else I wouldn't have a blog devoted to them!). BUT, they are not more important than my husband or my marriage. If it comes down to it, surrender your desires to the Lord and trust Him to meet your needs as you put your marriage first!

2) Don't undermine your husband's authority as leader in your home.

Oh, we women struggle so much with wanting to grasp at that authority, don't we? We often think that we know best and want to try to force it on our husbands. We need to remember that God, in His complete wisdom and sovereignty, has given us the exact husband that He wanted us to have and that He is the author of marriage and the designer of the concept of submission.

If your husband is truly opposed to something or you can tell it really displeases him, don't do it! It just isn't worth it to replace your conventional milk with raw milk if it requires you to undermine your man. You may have to get creative with how you add more veggies into your meals if he grew up on canned corn and iceberg lettuce. You might even need to just sit on your ideals and knowledge for a while, praying that your husband will come around, but trusting that God is ultimately in control of the situation and of your family's health!

3) Give him good information in bite-sized pieces.

Most husbands work long days (or nights) before coming home to their precious families. Though they might be willing to read a book on nutrition to understand what you've been learning, they just might not have the time and the energy after they come home, eat a meal, help put the kids to bed and then take some downtime or time alone with you.

Over the last few years, I've learned that this is the best way to teach my husband about something: Find a brief article (a couple pages), or one really good chapter of a book, or a video (maybe 20 min. or less) every so often and offer it to him. Tell them that it explains some things that you think are really important and ask them to read/watch it and if you can, discuss it together after. I have found almost every time that my hubby is absolutely willing to do this. He walks away more informed about what I am learning and doing, and usually more convicted on whatever the issue was (raw milk, avoiding toxins, buying meat from clean sources, etc.).

4) Make it your priority to please him.

Next to your relationship with the Lord, your relationship with your husband ought to be the most important in your life. We need to show this in practical ways, and the food we serve is definitely one of them!

In the last couple of years, I have made a point of asking my husband about different meals or baking that I make so that I can find out how much he really likes it. If it's a thumbs up, it goes on my regular list of things to make. If it's so-so, we might have it very occasionally. If it's thumbs down (even if I love it or it's really good for us), I don't make it again unless he's out and won't be eating it. I have also learned that we are all so much happier when I do my best to take my nutritional principles and apply them to styles of food that he loves. I try to cook in a way that will make my hubby arrive home pleased and eager to eat what I've prepared. I love it when he loves what I've cooked!

5) Start slow and implement change little by little.

I didn't grow up eating the way I do now. It took many years and much determination to learn to eat healthfully as I do now, and to overcome a strong dislike of many wholesome foods (beans, brown bread, most veggies, some fruits).

Your husband may be the same. If so, it's going to take patience and diligence to help him change his tastebuds and learn to like what's better for him. Perhaps you could ask him if you could introduce a new meal or dish once a week? Or you could take some of his favorites and see if there are small things you can do to make them just a little bit better without removing all the pleasure. Or see if there are changes that he will willingly make, and a few compromise areas that you can just leave as they are for now (because some change is better than none!).

How do you find the balance between making healthy changes, and continuing to please and serve your husband?

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• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
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Are you feeling overwhelmed? Is it possible that those burdens you're carrying were never yours to carry in the first place?

When we get off course, God is so faithful to intervene and use any number of ways to gently guide us back to where we ought to be. In my case, He most recently used my husband to bring some correction and encouragement that I so desperately needed.

Since the birth of my 3rd baby, about 3 months ago, I have been dealing with a significant amount of stress. Almost daily, I have felt entirely overwhelmed and far too busy. I didn't feel that I had enough time to do all that needed to be done. I was struggling with discouragement, anger and some depression.

My husband had often admonished me during this time that God does not give us more to do each day than we are capable of handling and accomplishing (through His grace, of course). Truthfully, I couldn't see how this was true and felt that indeed, God was giving me more than I could handle. The combination of life events (not just the birth of a new baby, but many other circumstances in addition) just felt like too much and I felt sorely inadequate. I was allowing my circumstances to distort my perception of God, believing that He was allowing me to be in this stressful place and doubting in His goodness.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I had a much needed conversation where I finally admitted how I was feeling. He suggested that I was letting many other feelings of obligation, expectation, and my own pride get in the way of the few things that God was actually calling me to focus on and accomplish. Many of the things that I was allowing to stress me out were far above and beyond the true priorities that I needed to be focusing on.

To help me get back on track and simplify the to-do list that I kept creating for myself, Ryan made this for me:

You can see that I have 3 main priorities:

1. Spend time in prayer, reading scripture, and meditating on the gospel.
2. Feed my family
3. Instruct the kids (teaching and training)

In addition to this, I can add 3 other items, but they are not to take priority until my first three items are under control. If that is all that I accomplish each day, it is enough! My day is a success. I have done what is most important and everything else can slide if it has to.

I cannot even begin to tell you what a weight has dropped off of my shoulders. These are my priorities in this season of life and I am not a failure if I do not accomplish some self-imposed list of other things!

I was reflecting on this during my quiet time the other day and here is what I wrote in my journal:

Have you picked up burdens that you do not need to be carrying? How do you stay faithful to the calling that you have received?

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
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• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
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I was doing some meal planning the other night, and for some reason, this post popped into my head. It was a really good reminder for me that as I serve my family in the kitchen, I need to keep being intentional to bless my husband with what I make. Hope this post serves as a loving reminder for you, too!  

Originally Published October 2008

Image by robyn michelle-lee photography

I haven't been all that happy with the food I've been preparing
lately. Not because it isn't healthy, or frugal, or because it takes
too much work, or anything like that. Not even because it doesn't taste
good to me (because it does).

I made a realization, though. Over
the last year or so, I have slowly shifted away from making many of the
simple, basic, North American style meals that my husband loves. In
favor of that, I have moved towards more ethnic meals, more beans and
legumes, more experimenting, and less sticking with what we know and
love.

This past month, I started really noticing that my
husband hasn't been as keen on my cooking. In fact, neither have my
kids. It's harder to make use of the leftovers in the fridge, so I end
up eating most of them myself. I miss the rave reviews, and the hugs
and kisses when my husband comes home from work and sees what's waiting
for him.

The GirlTalkers are exploring the Proverbs 31 woman right now, and the past two weeks they've been focusing on this verse:

She does him GOOD, and not harm, all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:12

It's
been revealing and convicting for me, in many regards. The one that
really hit me yesterday was that making all the healthy and interesting
dishes in the world is just a complete waste if it isn't doing good to the most important man in my life!

So
there's a shift taking place. Last night while my husband was out at an
event, I spent a lot of time writing out a list of meals that I think
would serve him better, meals that he would be excited to eat once
again. They don't sound quite as healthy, but in actuality they can all be made with nourishing ingredients,
and have generous helpings of salad and veggies added to their sides
(and my hubby loves veggies, so that's not a problem at all). 

My new meal plans will include a lot more dishes like: taco salad, fajitas, roast beef, homemade pizza, lasagna, quesadillas, beef stew, grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup, meatballs, turkey stromboli, salmon or chicken kebabs, cheesy beef and rice, spaghetti with tomato sauce, mashed potatoes, butter chicken, burritos, and I'm sure you get the point.

Sure,
I'll still make the odd lentil or butternut squash soup, or cold rice
and bean salad, or the like. Mostly, though, I will be refocusing my
efforts on making these comfort foods that he really loves, with high
quality ingredients and nourishing methods, along with a really good
variety of veggies alongside them. I already examined my budget to see
how I could make this work, and it's tight (not that it wasn't before),
it requires more discipline and intentionality, but I think it will be
alright. (And a huge thanks to Laura, whose meal plans, recipes and Getting Real with Food series were such an invaluable help to me last night!)

Best
of all, I told my husband what I was thinking, and read him the list of
meals I had put together. He smiled, and the relief was so evident, not
just in his face, but his whole body relaxed. He said he would love it
if I made meals like that all the time. I could instantly see that this
change was truly doing my husband good.

It's okay to want to
challenge our families a bit, and make new and interesting and
nutritious dishes. But our priority is still to serve our husbands (and
our children, though I do believe their tastes need to be guided by us
for the most part). If what we're making just isn't doing it for him,
then something needs to change.

I want to truly "do him GOOD", and that includes what I do in my kitchen.

Does
the food that you're serving bless your husband? Are you trying to make
healthy changes that he is resisting? How have you learned to balance
improving your diet with making food that he still loves?

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
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*******

Guest Post by Sharon Kaufman

Could your house, with its tasteful and attractively arranged furnishings, make it into the pages of House Beautiful? Most of us would say, "No, but I'm working toward beautifying my home in such a way." A well-cared-for and pleasingly outfitted home is what many godly women strive for. But regardless of how visually stunning and impeccably organized our homes are, there is yet a greater priority for the Christian woman – the beautification of her heart.

The other day I took up reading John Piper’s, The Pleasures of God where I had left off the day before:
“He beautifies the meek with salvation.” (Psalm 149:4)…God is an infinitely beautiful person...One of the ways God expresses His delight in this beauty is by giving it away to His people. He takes pleasure in them by adorning them…with His own beauty.” (The Pleasures of God by John Piper, page 186-87)

There you have it - the beautification of the heart, the Christian woman’s priority. Our homes will never really be beautiful until our hearts reflect back to God and to those around us the ever-increasing image of the loveliness of our Savior.

Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands”. The wise woman takes time to behold the beauty of the Lord and wait quietly as He instills that beauty within her. But godly, inner loveliness is of no consequence to the foolish woman. She may even be pursuing worthy goals – homeschooling, serving in women’s ministries, singing in the choir, etc. But these pursuits are vain without first sitting down at the feet of the Beautiful One.

So why should we be so beautified? Why? But for the glory of God put forth in our own little worlds. For women, this happens as we nurture others, as God has so designed. Regardless of our marital status, by prioritizing our time at Christ’s feet, we are empowered to nurture those God puts into our lives. It is the overflow of the Lord’s beauty, as the Spirit of God produces in us God’s quality of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control.

As nurturers, we have countless opportunities to profoundly influence the next generation with the beauty of the Lord, and it happens as we bring this beauty first into our own hearts. Even an unbelieving world acknowledges this “influence principle” in their secularistic way. I became aware of this fact after having read a magazine article about a man who educates young girls in northern Pakistan, a poverty stricken region where girls have never had the privilege of attending school.

In his own way, this former U.S. Army medic, has gone to war against Islamic fundamentalists. His method is based on a simple yet profound idea: that by helping to provide secular education (especially for girls) in this most explosively unstable part of the world, support for the Taliban will slowly evaporate.

The importance of women as nurturers in the home and the huge impact that nurturing has upon society is obvious even to this unsaved man, having stated in the article that nothing would change in northern Pakistan until its girls are educated, for they are the ones who remain in the home and instill values in the upcoming generation.

Isn’t it interesting that in the little book of Titus, Paul instructs Titus, the pastor on the Island of Crete, to teach the older women how to train the younger women to love and submit to their husbands, to love their children, to be pure and kind and to be workers at home? God had redeemed these women who were now exiting out of a culture in which it was customary for them to sip wine in excess and gossip maliciously. It is significant that “of all the ways Paul could have instructed in how to combat the decadence of that culture, he told the older women to invest their energies in training the younger women to live Christianly in their own homes.” (Spiritual Mothering by Susan Hunt, p. 43). What you do there really does make a dramatic difference. And by outwardly manifesting a heart that displays the exquisite character of Christ, that difference will resound for God’s glorious cause.

So while it is important to look well to the ways of our homes, it is imperative that we first beautify our hearts. My little cottage, though it may never be featured in House Beautiful, though the couch is a bit threadbare and the carpet worn, if the beauty of the Lord dwells there, it is perfect. May we find ourselves sitting at the feet of our stunning Savior, being adorned by Him so that His radiance and beauty may be enjoyed by all who dwell alongside us.

Sharon has enjoyed being Robert’s helper now for 32 years, being mom their grown son and three grown daughters and “Granny” to seven delightful grandchildren. She is passionate about encouraging and equipping women in her church and beyond and also through her blog (The Good Woman) to embrace and delight in their divinely-designed occupation as helpers.

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
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Every once in a while, a mom could use to just get away for a little while.

I'm not talking about self-indulgence or feeding the idea of constantly needing "me time". Our society tells us often enough that it's time we stopped doing everything for everybody else and started focusing on meeting our own needs. I don't believe that type of thinking is Biblical. We have been called to serve our families, laying down our lives for others and for God's kingdom, and to trust in Him (not ourselves) to ultimately meet all of our needs!

I do, however, think that it can be an incredibly beneficial thing to plan to take a "personal retreat" once or twice a year. This can be anything from a couple of hours in a coffee shop, to spending the day at a park by yourself, to actually going overnight somewhere and having a full day or two by yourself. It all depends on the season of life that you are in (newborn or nursing babies, a husband or family member that is able to stay with the children), your financial limitations, etc. but I think that anyone can find a way to carve out at least a little bit of purposeful time.

So what's the point of taking a personal retreat?

For me, it is a way to spend some focused, quiet time seeking God, reading His word, praying over specific issues in my life and just generally asking Him to renew my vision and my priorities for the season of life that He has me in.

It is also an opportunity to read encouraging or challenging books on important topics (on mothering, on marriage, on home educating, on a specific spiritual topic). It can be an ideal time to really flesh out the different things in my life that are fighting for my attention, and bring some clarity to what is most important and then make a plan to focus on those things and release the others.

Planning can happen more easily when I am already in the mode of refocusing myself and setting goals and priorities. I find it the perfect time to tweak my schedules and routines, to plan for upcoming months of home educating and blogging, to determine projects I want to accomplish, to choose new books to read or set a new direction for personal devotions, and to set goals (and steps to accomplish those goals) in various areas.

If you're interested in the idea of taking one, see this older post where I talk a little bit more about taking retreats, and also highlight the book Shopping for Time
which was instrumental for me in beginning to take my own retreats!

What I'll be doing this weekend...

Starting tonight, I will be serving dinner to my family and then leaving the house for several hours alone. The next morning after breakfast, I will go out again and take the entire day, until it's time to come home for dinner. My husband and I have been planning this for quite some time, and he is fully supportive of my desire to do this. He also takes retreats a couple of times a year, and we are both in agreement as to just how helpful they are to us and how they enable us to better function in the roles that God has given us.

I've been anticipating taking this retreat for the last several months, and I am so eager to go and enjoy some intimate fellowship with God, and to come home (as I always do) just bursting with eagerness and joy to do what He has called me to do, with a fresh sense of purpose and direction!

Have you ever taken a personal retreat? What did you find the most beneficial about it? If not, would you like to take one?

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
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So many thoughts come to mind, but I'll try to keep it coherent:

1) First of all, blogging can be so artificial, in what it shows us of somebody's life.

Sometimes I scan over the posts from a week or two of blogging and think "Gosh, my life looks more impressive than it is!". You only have the privilege of seeing the topics that I managed to write on that week: perhaps my Quiet Time bins, some yummy recipes, my grocery budget breakdown, a garden update and some things the Lord has been teaching me.

What you don't see is that the Quiet Time bins took me 6 weeks to complete after I purchased the bins, that I undercooked my pumpkin bread last week, that I went over budget on groceries this month, that I have barely been out to my garden this last little while and it's getting a bit weedy, that I didn't manage to have time with the Lord today, that I was really tired and somewhat snappy with my kids this morning, and that my house desperately needs to be vacuumed and I'm behind on laundry.

The bottom line: I am a real person. I mess things up daily. I do NOT have it all together. I am the biggest sinner I know, and utterly dependent on the grace and mercy of God. I can be grumpy and selfish with my husband and kids. Not every meal I make turns out well. I don't always balance my time efficiently or effectively or wisely. I have lazy days where I struggle with motivation. I sometimes have to run around to make my house presentable for guests. I sleep in some days when I should have gotten up earlier. I don't always make time in the Word and in prayer the priority that I should. Some days I would prefer to just avoid the kitchen. Sometimes I don't feel like blogging (gasp!).

2) We can only do as much as we can do, with what God has given us, through His grace.

I am definitely still working on learning this lesson. I, too, can look around at other women and think that I ought to be doing this or that, or read other blogs or books and feel that I am somehow missing the mark of all that a godly wife, mother and homemaker should be accomplishing.

What I need to continually remind myself of is that I am not those women. I am me. In the circumstances that God has placed me in, with the talents and gifts He has given me, with the struggles and weaknesses He has allowed for my sanctification.

One of the best things that I got out of the book Shopping for Time
, which I've mentioned before, is that I can't do it all, and I am not supposed to. What I can do is conscientiously seek God on my time and priorities and schedule, asking what He would have for me in each new season of life. As He leads me to focus on particular priorities, relationships, and tasks, I have to learn to give up my need to "do it all" and be content in doing what He has actually asked of me. It's so easy to place expectations on myself that He doesn't burden me with, but not only is that unwise, it's also unfruitful.

3) Do I ever feel worn out? Yes. Do I get overwhelmed sometimes? Of course. Do I sometimes wonder how I can add new things to my plate as our family grows, life gets busier, I learn more about health and nutrition, etc? Absolutely!

I have a tendency to want to do it all. I add things faster to my own schedule than anyone else ever could. I often have to force myself to sit back and really evaluate all that I am doing, and whether it's wise and even feasible.

One thing that has helped is learning to streamline things over the years, and just becoming more comfortable in my roles and duties. I continue to try new scheduling methods, cleaning routines and techniques, implementing systems of organization, and trying to declutter more. I've learned to keep things like breakfast and lunch simple, to bathe my kids only a couple times a week, to find ways to multitask better, to use recipes with less ingredients and hands on time, and all of these things help me to accomplish more without going crazy.

I've also given things up. I don't do scrapbooking or cardmaking anymore. I very rarely read fiction. I've worked to cut my grocery shopping trips down to every second week. I spend much less time on the phone than I used to and make use of my call display. We don't watch tv, and keep the movies to a minimum. My kids aren't in a bunch of activities, and we don't do very many playdates or get togethers with friends during the week. My husband and I often use our free evenings to sit at our respective computers and do business stuff (though we still make time for fun and just being together). We work to maintain and nurture the relationships in our life that seem to be the highest priority in a given season, and try not to spread ourselves too thin.

4) I constantly have to try to remind myself of what really matters.

Is it that my house was spotless or that I played with my kids? Is it that our children were academically advanced or that we spent time instilling godly character, discipline and teaching them the Word of God? Is it that every meal I make is balanced nutritionally, completely organic and perfectly prepared or that I have sought to be a good steward with what I have been given, and that my motivations are to glorify God and to love and serve my family?

I can easily forget these things, but they're true! So often, the things that I burden myself with are not ultimately important. Sometimes I get lost in the peripherals, and I need to take a step back and re-evaluate.

I hope this somewhat rambling post gives a little more insight into who I am, and how my days and weeks really play out in the real world, not just the blogosphere. I so desire to present myself as a regular woman, with struggles and challenges, who is just doing her best and sharing the journey with you!

I would love to hear from the rest of you, and how you deal with feeling overwhelmed, with the expectations you have for yourself, and on maintaining balance and focus! Do you relate to these questions and issues?

Images by Hamed

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

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Though last week was so busy with my eBook launch and baby steps that I didn't take the time to mention it, our family went to Seattle on Thursday night so that my husband and I could attend a homeschool conference.

In random, stream of consciousness form, here are some thoughts and happenings from the weekend:

1) Thank you all so much for your kind support of my eBook, and for the excitement and encouragment you offered me in regards to it's launch. I was a bit overwhelmed by it (in a good way), and as always, am so privileged to "know" and share with you all.

2) I had a two-day "date" with my husband at the conference this weekend, and boy, was it fun! This was our third year attending, but this year Grandma offered to stay home with the kids so that we could more fully take in the speakers. What a wonderful time we had together, listening and being challenged and inspired, talking together about what we were hearing, having picnics on the church lawn, philosophizing over our homeschooling ideologies and discussing our goals for our children, plus some fun little dates and treats mixed in. Thanks, Grandma!

3) This is my last week of "Eating from the pantry and freezer", and truthfully, I haven't had time to plan it out yet. We got home in the late afternoon yesterday, only to bring in some coop food that I had purchased while down there, and to head right back out for dinner at my Nana's house an hour away, to visit with my step-Mom (down for the weekend from up North). When I got home, meal planning was not on my horizon. But, I will put something together today and share it with you later.

4) How excited was I to come home and see more green popping up in my garden, and even in the flower pots on my deck! My tomato seedlings thrived while I was gone, and we'll be out to water seedlings later this morning (we had a weekend without rain- in the Vancouver area, that means it must be spring!). Our big task of the day is to plant a garbage can with potatoes... my first attempt. I'll take some pics, as we get it all set up in our lovely "upcycled" garbage can that I grabbed last week from Freecycle.

5) I'm hungry. I better stop blogging and go make some oatmeal! (What did I tell you? Random, stream of consciousness!)

6) But before I do, here's one quick thing that I wanted to mention, as it's been on my mind a lot since Saturday...

Do I rejoice in the role that God has given me in my home? Is it evident? Do others, and especially my children, see that I love being a woman, love caring for them, love serving my husband and love making my home a haven, both for our family and for others?

In a session by Deborah Brown, on training and raising daughters to be homemakers and helpmeets, this question really struck a chord with me. If I want my daughters to grow up embracing the Biblical role of becoming a wife, mother and homemaker someday (because although not every daughter is assured of being married or having children, this is the normative path for women in scripture, and it is what we feel that we ought to be preparing our daughters for), then I need to consider the example I set.

The role that I have now is not the one that I trained for. I spent 13 years in public school, and 4 years in a liberal arts university, preparing to be anything BUT a homemaker (because I was "way too smart to waste myself on just being at home", or so the voices around me worked to convince me). It is still a learning curve for me, balancing housework, cooking, child training, home educating, and serving my husband. I still so often feel overwhelmed and under-equipped for the task at hand.

But regardless of how I feel... what do I communicate? That I revel in the role that God has given me? That there is absolutely no where else I would rather be? That I accept with joy even the mundane parts of my day (the laundry, the toilets, etc.)?

My daughters (and my sons as well) need to see a picture of a woman that is at rest, and even better, rejoicing in her role. They need to know that I love being a wife. Love being a mom. Love caring for my home and showing hospitality. That what God has called me to do is a privilege and NOT a burden.

My goal for today? To choose joy and contentment. To purposefully express to my daughter how very good God's ways are, and how right He was to place me right where I am- in my home!

Have you ever considered the effect of your attitude, words and demeanor on your children, and the messages that are being sent to your daughters in particular? Do you also find it a challenge to display and communicate joy in your God-given roles?

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

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I'm in the midst of a fabulous new read, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, and just had to share with you something the author, Barbara Kingsolver, said that caught my attention.

It's uncommon to hear a feminist admit the losses and burdens accompanied by the removal of wives and mothers from the home. I thought it was just so telling, that these should be the observations of one who has "been there, done that" as far as establishing herself. She sees, in part anyways, the dilemma of feminism and has come to value family time, the art and tasks of homemaking and even the role of the mother in setting the tone in her home, things which are sadly being lost and even despised in our current culture.

"...Cooking is a dying art. Why is a good question, and an uneasy one, because I find myself politically and socioeconomically entangled in the answer. I belong to the generation of women who took as our youthful rallying cry: Allow us a good education so we won't have to slave in the kitchen. We recoiled from the proposition that keeping a husband presentable and fed should be our highest intellectual aspiration. We fought for entry as equal partners into every quarter of the labor force. We went to school, sweated those exams, earned our professional stripes and we beg therefore to be excused from manual labor Or else our full-time job is manual labor, we are carpenters or steelworkers, or we stand at a cash register all day. At the end of a shift we deserve to go home and put our feet up. Somehow, though, history came around and bit us in the backside: now most women have jobs and still find themselves largely in charge of the housework. Cooking at the end of a long day is a burden we could live without...

When we traded homemaking for careers, we were implicitly promised economic independence and worldly influence. But a devil of a bargain it has turned out to be in terms of daily life. We gave up the aroma of warm bread rising, the measured pace of nurturing routines, the creative task of molding our families' tastes and zest for life; we received in exchange the minivan and the Lunchable. (Or worse, convenience-mart hot dogs and latchkey kids). I consider it the great hoodwink of my generation.

Now what? Most of us, male or female, work at full-time jobs that seem organized around a presumption that some wifely person is at home picking up the slack- filling the gap between school and workday's end, doing errands only possible during business hours, meeting the expectation that we are hungry when we get home- but in fact June Cleaver has left the premises. Her income was needed to cover the mortgage and health insurance. Didn't the workplace organizers notice? In fact that gal Friday is us, both moms and dads running on overdrive, smashing the caretaking duties into small spaces between job and carpool and bedtime. Eating preprocessed or fast food can look like salvation in the short run, until we start losing what real mealtimes give to a family: civility, economy, and health. A lot of us are wishing for a way back home, to the place where care-and-feeding isn't zookeeper's duty but something happier and more creative."

I'm so grateful to be able to be at home, achieving my "highest intellectual aspirations" in the midst of the incredible task of supporting and caring for my husband, nurturing and training my children, nourishing and feeding us all, and making my home a productive and welcoming haven.

So, what thinks you about this quote? Do you think it's an accurate depiction of families today and the impact of the loss of a mother at home? All thoughts are okay, just keep it friendly, please!

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

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Sometimes I get a bit lost in keeping up with the heaps of laundry, the never-ending dishes, the reading and the math worksheets (gosh, she's getting so old so fast!), and the kissing of boo-boos.

It's easy to get so focused on all of the smaller tasks that make up my roles as wife, mother and homemaker, that I often cease to see the forest for the trees, so to speak.

A couple of weeks ago, I began listening to the series "To Teach What is Good- Titus 2" by Carolyn Mahaney, and I found it so refreshing and encouraging. You see, over the course of this past month I've been feeling rather exhausted and overwhelmed by some stressful circumstances, challenging relationships, and duties I was struggling to accomplish. The fact that I wasn't sleeping well and was caring for another little boy probably didn't help.

In fact, I realized that I had gotten so worn out and discouraged that I had even begun to listen to some of the less discerning and doctrinally-incorrect voices around me, taking worldly advice and applying it to the struggles in my heart. For a couple of days, I allowed myself to think that I somehow "deserved better" and needed to make more time for myself and a few other thoughts that I know were less than true.

Listening to this CD the other day with my daughter, my heart was drawn back to this beautiful truth:

The way that I live out my life, in the context of my marriage, my mothering and my home, is a representation to a lost world of the Gospel of Jesus Christ!

(If you're unsure of what I mean by the Gospel, you can learn more about it here)

Listen to Carolyn's words in the corresponding chapter of Feminine Appeal
(the book upon which the CD series is based):

Although our daily actions might not be covered on the evening news, our lifestyle speaks loudly to those around us. How sobering it is to realize that our behavior has the potential to discredit the gospel. But how exciting it is to think that we can actually commend the gospel!

As verse 10 (of Titus 2) says, we can "adorn" the gospel with our lives. To "adorn" means to put something beautiful or attractive on display- like placing a flawless gemstone in a setting that uniquely shows off its brilliance. The gospel is like the most valuable of jewels. It is the pearl of great price.

Make no mistake, by adorning the gospel, we are not enhancing or improving it. The gospel cannot be improved! But by cultivating the feminine qualities listed in Titus 2, we can present the gospel as attractive, impressive, and pleasing to a watching world.

It doesn't take away the tiredness, or make some of the circumstances any easier, but it renews my passion to do what I have been called to do, and to do it well, through His grace. I am encouraged to continue on, realizing that all the "little" things I do day in and day out have a much bigger purpose- to present the gospel as more beautiful and attractive to a watching world!

I can't do it on my own, but I can press in to Him and lay down the burdens that I have been carrying at His feet. I know that He alone can and will give me the strength and ability to do it all in a way that glorifies Him and magnifies His gospel, without buying in to the lie of "me-ism". He created me for these roles, to serve my husband and family, through all sorts of circumstances and changing seasons, and He will equip me to do it. Only in Him can I find the rest that I am longing for.

Isn't it good to be reminded of the calling that we have, to present the Gospel through the roles and the work that God has given each of us? How has God been speaking to you lately, and how has He been bringing encouragement and refreshment for the challenges that you are experiencing?

Our Sponsors:

• It Starts at Home: Are we Discipling or Outsourcing the faith of our children? Read It Starts at Home! Then, just nurture them together.
• Moukisac: Your 6 in 1 shopping bag system; compact, stylish, versatile and practical, of course! Made by Canadian mom.
• hope ink: Custom inspirational art for your home
• ListPlanIt: Lists to put your world in order
• Vintage Remedies: Get healthy, naturally
• Just Bumming Around: When only the best cloth diapers (at great prices) will do. FuzziBunz packages on SALE!

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