One thing that really stands out to me about women (and maybe just people in general, but I notice it strongly in myself and my own gender) is that we crave control.

We want things to go our way. In our time. According to our desires.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

When I was younger, I used to naively think that this meant we could get the things that we wanted if we just did our best to serve and love God. The right husband, the perfect children and family, stable finances, a lovely home, a peaceful life.

The older I get and the more life experiences I walk through, I realize that the point of this verse is far more about delighting in the Lord and having our wills conformed to His, rather than having our every whim fulfilled. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee you that life will not go the way that you or I desire. There will be pain, loss, frustration, disappointment, confusion, difficulty, trials, heartache- the results of living in a sin-saturated, broken world as broken people.

What does it mean to truly delight in the Lord and submit our wills and desires to Him fully?

This is a question that Heather Bixler struggled with herself, and as she walked her own journey of learning to pry her fingers open from the things that she desired, and allow the Lord to show her what it meant to delight herself in Him alone, she realized that she needed to share it with others.

The fruit of her journey has been the 47-page ebook devotional, Desires of My Heart, based on Psalm 37:4. It's not as much a Bible study as it is an exploration of these issues (control, pride, humility, fear, faith, brokenness, intimacy with God), how they affect of us, testimonies of faith from other women, and encouragement to examine your own heart and learn to say "yes" to what the Lord has for you, as you drink deep of the peace and joy that comes from delighting solely in Him.

Get Your Own Copy for $0.99!

To keep it affordable and accessible to anyone, Heather has generously kept the price at a mere $0.99 (regular $2.99)! At that price, anyone can pick up a copy of this to use for their morning or evening devotions, or simply something that you read slowly as you allow God to work in your heart.

It is available in PDF ebook, Kindle and Nook formats. You can purchase it here.

*And just a note that if you happen to win the book, you'll receive a refund for your purchase of the book, so don't let that stop you from getting it if you're interested!*

Enter to Win a Copy Plus a Hand-Stamped Necklace!

She is also giving away two copies of  the Desires of My Heart ebook for my readers, and each copy will include a beautiful hand-stamped necklace with a cross and the words Psalm 37:4 (value $30).

Here's how to get entered (remember to leave a separate comment for each entry):

1. Tell me why you'd like to win this ebook, or if you're willing to get a bit more personal, an area where you struggle with really trusting in the Lord and giving up control.

2. Follow Desires of My Heart on Facebook or Twitter.

3. Subscribe to Keeper of the Home by RSS feed or by email (and be entered to win our monthly email subscriber-only giveaways!).

4. Share about this giveaway through your blog or favorite social media (find us on Facebook and Twitter here).

Giveaway has now ended.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book to review. This post was generously sponsored by Heather Bixler and the book Desires of my Heart.

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• Updated! Spring Book Sale: Real Food and Healthy Homemaking eBooks 50% Off!
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• Why My Husband Rocks (and Union 28 Giveaway)

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*Giveaway has now ended*

A few years ago, I remember seeing one of my dear friends in the cutest shirt. It said:

"I love skinny guys with glasses" and it had a stick drawing of a skinny guy wearing (what else?) glasses.

What makes this shirt awesome is that her husband just happens to be a skinny, glasses-wearing, computer-programming (but super cool) guy. And every time she wore this shirt, it made me smile to see that she was telling the world how much she loved her hubby.

Fast forward to this summer... our 8th anniversary is drawing closer and I am on We Are That Family, reading about her recent trip to Africa. I notice on the sidebar a little ad that says "My Husband Rocks. T-Shirts and More!". I just had to click.

What I found at Union28 made me smile all over again, at the thought of getting myself a shirt similar to my friend's, telling the world how much I love my sweet husband. T-shirts, long sleeved shirts, and hoodies, all proclaiming how much our spouse rocks or why our marriage is great.

What a beautiful way to celebrate your marriage and that faithful person who loves you day in and day out (even first thing in the morning, with bedhead and bad breath, even when you're selfish, even when you seriously mess up, even when you're just a plain old sinner).

So for our anniversary this year, I instantly knew what I wanted. Although we haven't opened them up officially yet (and yes, Ryan has been warned to stay away from my blog until tomorrow), this is what I got:

Are they fantastic? Totally cute his and hers sweaters, that aren't too cheesy or flashy, but the message is still clear. They do have at least one maternity shirt, but I preferred the idea of a hoodie because I could wear it both now unzipped and then continue wearing it after baby comes.

My husband really does rock. His heart belongs to Jesus. He works tremendously hard (often long, tiring hours) to provide for his family. He runs his business with integrity and gives to others generously. He adores his kids, and takes them on dates, wrestles with them, feeds them ice cream and other unmentionable treats when I'm not looking (yes, honey, I always know), loves to take us all out on family outings for hikes and picnics, and never fails to smother them in hugs and kisses. He puts up with our frequently messy house, laundry in baskets, the odd burnt or undercooked dinner, doesn't complain about (most) of my healthy experiments, and supports me wholeheartedly.

So happy anniversary, Ryan. 8 wonderful years, and looking forward to 50 or 60 more!

Do you love these marriage-honoring shirts as much as I do? Want to win some for yourself?

I have a $50 gift certificate for Union28 to giveaway!

Here's how to get entered (remember to leave a separate comment for each entry):

1. Visit the Union28 website and tell me which shirt you would love to win.

2. Subscribe to Keeper of the Home by RSS feed or by email (and be entered to win our monthly email subscriber-only giveaways!).

3. Share about this giveaway through your blog or favorite social media (find us on Facebook and Twitter here).

Giveaway has now ended.

Union28 is also offering 15% off any purchase to any of my readers when you use the coupon code U28keep15. The discount code is good from Monday, September 12th to Monday, October 31st, 2011.

Disclaimer: The hoodies were provided for the purpose of review by Union28. Since getting them, I have also become an affiliate of Union28 because I love their products and what they stand for. When you make a purchase through one of my links (which you are not obligated to do), I get a small kickback which helps to support this site, so thank you.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy:

• A quick comment, and my review of freezing Spud Special Soup and
• Diaper Giveaway Winner and RSS/Email Subscriptions
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• Making my home a haven- Day 7 and 8

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Written by Sharon Kaufman, Contributing Writer

A womanly legacy worthy of passing on

A while back I began compiling a collection of mini-biographies of Christian women, single, married and widowed, whose lives might inspire us to live godly in this present age as that relates to all of the divinely created helper functions devout women have Biblically and historically fulfilled. The collection has included women helping as wives and mothers and women working in the church and in missions (locally and abroad),  whether single, widowed or married.

In discovering and researching such women, I've realized that any woman who follows Christ for His glory and honor and who has given up her life to be used by Him can be a candidate for this list. Any one of us who lives in this fashion will leave a legacy of love for Christ that will inspire and encourage women who come after us to be the helper God created them to be.

The following is a glimpse of Eliza Spurgeon, mother of Chares Haddon Spurgeon, also know as C. H. Spurgeon. Most of the following information (in quotations) concerning Eliza is penned by her son, Charles, in his autobiography. Any other sources will be noted.

Eliza's children rise up and bless her

Eliza's son James said of her, "She was the starting point of all the greatness any of us, by the grace of God, have ever enjoyed." Both James and Charles were most thankfully indebted to their mother who devoted herself to praying for and actively pursuing the salvation and spiritual welfare of her eight children. (Seventeen children were born to John and Eliza Spurgeon. Of these seventeen, only eight lived past infancy.)

Charles gratefully wrote, "I cannot tell how much I owe the solemn words of my good mother...I remember on one occasion her praying thus: 'Now, Lord, if my children go on in their sins, it will not be from ignorance that they perish, and my soul must bear a swift witness against them at the day of judgment if they lay not hold of Christ.' That thought of my mother's bearing a swift witness against me pierced my conscience...How can I forget when she bowed her knee, and with her arms about my neck, prayed, 'Oh that my son might live before Thee!' "

Finally, Charles awarded his mother great honor when he said of her, "Mrs. John Spurgeon...has been known and esteemed for her sincere piety, her great usefulness and humility... The prayerful solicitude with which she trained her children has been rewarded by each one of them making a public profession of their faith in Christ. Two of her sons occupy foremost places in the metropolis as preachers of the gospel; and one of her daughters, the wife of a minister...assists her husband in the preparation of his sermons.."

And her husband praises her

In another excerpt from his autobiography, Charles wrote in the third person about himself and his siblings as young children in the Spurgeon home: "As the children were growing up, the father, like many professional and public men, feared his frequent absence from home would interfere with the religious education of the little ones. But happily for him he had a true help-meet to cooperate with him in this important work, and happily for those children they had a noble mother who lived for them, and sought to build them up in true Christian character. Nor has she lived unrewarded for her pains. Oh, that all mothers learned the lesson well! Hear the good man speak thus of his wife:

'I had been [away] from home a great deal, trying to build up weak congregations, and felt that I was neglecting the religious training of my own children while I was toiling for the good of others. I returned home with these feelings. I opened the door and was surprised to find none of the children about the hall. Going quietly upstairs, I heard my wife's voice. She was engaged in prayer with the children; I heard her pray for them one by one by name. She came to Charles, and specially prayed for him, for he was of high spirit and daring temper. I listened till she had ended her prayer, and I felt and said, 'Lord, I will go on with Thy work. The children will be cared for.' "

What can we learn from Eliza?

As I discovered Eliza Spurgeon in the pages of Spurgeon - A New Biography by Arnold Dallimore, I marveled at her dedication to her calling to be both a helper to her husband, John, himself a preacher of the gospel, and an advocate for her children. It was, in fact, her advocacy for her children that reveals her husband's great confidence in her as his helpmate. Because she willingly carried the burden of her children's salvation before the Lord, her husband was freed up spiritually, physically and emotionally to do the work God had called him to.

Her devotion to the children, however, was tempered by her supreme love and commitment to her King, seen by her willingness to "bear a swift witness against them" if they rejected Christ as their Lord and Savior. Of course, her prayer, as stated above was an earnest, heartfelt plea to her Heavenly Father that such a calamity would never happen.

Kingdom praying - agonizing as Eliza did

Could you pray thus for your children? I never did for my own children and thinking back, I know that I could not have. They occupied too high a place in my heart, sadly a place higher than Christ. I spoke often to them of the Savior, but in that speaking I was overly confident in my own ability to turn them toward Him. My method of training my children was everything to me and I reasoned that because of my commitment to that method, God was obliged to do His part in saving them.

Because of my self-confidence, I lacked the finely tuned spiritual eyesight that Eliza Spurgeon had. Though I spoke often to my children about Christ, I spoke infrequently to Christ and my Heavenly Father about my children. And when I did it was without the desperation and fervency that characterized Eliza's praying. I preached far too much and prayed far too little.

Thankfully, God delivered me from this folly, but not without cost for the willful independence that characterized me during that time. From that day of freedom and grace to this, I pray for my grown children the way Eliza prayed for her youngsters:

With supreme love for Christ - I pray as Eliza did, with my priorities as they should be for one who follows Christ. He is my first and foremost Love. Though my children no longer occupy that inappropriate place in my heart, it is for this very reason that my love for them is deeper, more powerful and more demonstrative than when they were small. It is my love for Christ and His love for me that continues to put me before the throne of His grace on their behalf. It is His very love in me that empowers me to pray thus.

In humility of mind - I pray with Eliza's humility, knowing that it is the Spirit of God alone who can journey into the regions of the heart and create Light where there is darkness.

With confidence - I pray with Eliza's confidence, knowing that God is kindly disposed to do such work and, in fact, salvation is the very work He desires to do above all else, the work that cost His Son's blood on the Cross.

In surrender to God's will - I pray in total surrender to God's will and to His Kingdom, as did Eliza, knowing that He is not obligated to do my will, the things I would like to see Him do. Though I know this is true, I also know that my Father delights in giving His children good gifts; and that when I pray according to His will He hears and grants the request. One more thing I know to be true is that it is His will and delight to save sinners. So that is how I pray.

With desperation - I pray in desperation, as did Eliza, knowing that should my children continue in their choice to be self-governing, the calamitous day will come when there will be witness born against them before their Judge. Therefore, I pray fervently, as one desperate for His grace for them.

An Extraordinary Challenge

Living each day, doing the same mundane things over and over again and failing often at what God has puts before us,  causes us, at times, to wonder how we could ever be an encouragement to others, let alone leave a legacy of love for Christ. Though this is how we live our lives, God uses the mundane to bring about His eternal purposes. He uses our failings to break anew His grace and mercy to us. As a result we come to walk humbly before Him and His grace always has the last say.

Eliza Spurgeon's life was really is no different than ours. She had to learn to walk by faith in God's grace and mercy just like we do. She served the same God we offer ourselves to, was indwelt by the same Spirit we own and loved the same Savior we now adore.

It is Christ's life lived out through us that transforms our anthology of ordinary days into an extraordinary and eternal legacy of love worthy to pass onto the women, some of which will be our own daughters,  who will come after us. May I challenge you to pursue the ordinary made extraordinary?

Is there a particular woman who has passed an extraordinary legacy of love and godly womanhood onto you? How have you been encouraged to follow in her footsteps?

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Sometimes I end up rummaging through past posts for one reason or another, and a post that I have written (and forgotten about) will jump out at me and I am freshly inspired by whatever it was that spurred me on to write the post in the first place.

The quote below is from just such a post that I re-discovered a few weeks ago. It was called "Rejoicing in my Role", and it keenly expressed a challenge that I still deal with, more than two years after penning the words.

I know that so many of you grew up like me. You were encouraged to pursue education and career, rather than family and home. You learned how to cook by trial, error and fire alarm (burnt cookies, anyone?). When you had your first baby, you were overwhelmed by the sheer weight of responsibility and the realization that you didn't have a clue how to really care for a baby's needs, let alone balance the laundry, cleaning, cooking, errands and more with the all-consuming demands of mothering.

You didn't learn how to do any of this, but now, this is your life, day in and day out.

You have the choice to fully embrace it, learn it, love it, and rejoice in it, or to resent it and show your children through your daily attitude that you don't truly cherish the roles of mama and homemaker that have been bestowed upon you.

Attitude speaks volumes. We don't have to use words to communicate deeply to our children, to our husbands, to those who are silently watching us live our lives exactly what we think about the calling that we have been given.

I speak as one who is convicted by these thoughts all over again. I am not exemplary in this area, not by a long shot. I need to be reminded as much as many of you do. So here goes...

Are You Rejoicing in Your Role?

Do I rejoice in the role that God has given me in my home? Is it evident? Do others, and especially my children, see that I love being a woman, love caring for them, love serving my husband and love making my home a haven, both for our family and for others?

In a session (at a homeschool conference I had just attended), on training and raising daughters to be homemakers and helpmeets, this question really struck a chord with me. If I want my daughters to grow up embracing the Biblical role of becoming a wife, mother and homemaker someday (because although not every daughter is assured of being married or having children, this is the normative path for women in scripture, and it is what we feel that we ought to be preparing our daughters for), then I need to consider the example I set.

The role that I have now is not the one that I trained for. I spent 13 years in public school, and 4 years in a liberal arts university, preparing to be anything BUT a homemaker (because I was "way too smart to waste myself on just being at home", or so the voices around me worked to convince me). It is still a learning curve for me, balancing housework, cooking, child training, home educating, and serving my husband. I still so often feel overwhelmed and under-equipped for the task at hand.

But regardless of how I feel... what do I communicate? That I revel in the role that God has given me? That there is absolutely no where else I would rather be? That I accept with joy even the mundane parts of my day (the laundry, the toilets, etc.)?

My daughters (and my sons as well) need to see a picture of a woman that is at rest, and even better, rejoicing in her role. They need to know that I love being a wife. Love being a mom. Love caring for my home and showing hospitality. That what God has called me to do is a privilege and NOT a burden.

My goal for today? To choose joy and contentment. To purposefully express to my daughter how very good God's ways are, and how right He was to place me right where I am- in my home!

Have you considered the effect of your attitude on your children, and the message that you are sending? Do you also find it a challenge to display and communicate joy in your God-given roles?

Images by D. Sharon Pruitt

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Written by Sharon Kaufman, Contributing Writer

A Devotional Birthed for New and Experienced Moms

Last November, after presenting a devotional at a baby shower, I was asked by many of the young moms there if they could have a copy of the talk. So I posted it post it to my blog over the next few days in four segments since it was a little too long for just one. This post presented here at Keeper of the Home is the first of those four posts. (Please find all four posts here.)

My Own Training in Humility

My children are all grown and flown now. But, hard as it is to admit, as a mother who so wanted to see her children follow Christ, I made many mistakes. The most damaging mistake was training the outward behavior instead of focusing in on the heart. I was actually afraid that my children would manifest sinful behavior. So I trained them not to.

They became very adept at hiding their sin. Now I know that I should have trained their hearts, allowing them to display in controlled and wise ways what lurked within their inward person. I should have let them be real while they were on my watch. After all, isn't that what the father of the prodigal son did?

When outward behavioral training is the approach, all you end up with is little Pharisees at worst, or children who eventually rebel. Personally, my children, having tired of the hypocrisy, finally make up their minds to live out what had really been in their hearts all along. All of our children professed to know Christ as children and were well-behaved in our home. But once they spread their wings and were on their own, they departed from their profession and from the church.

Most if not all of what I included in the devotional you will read (A-Z), is a result of having had a wrong focus while raising my children. But just so you know, my husband and I have wonderful relationships with all of our kids and grandkids. We see them on a regular basis and pray diligently for them to turn to Christ. I trust that my Savior will one day own their hearts and that they will discover the treasure He is.

Putting Humility into Practice at Last

Since raising my own kids, God has given me the wonderful opportunity to nurture and nourish another child in my home. As I applied the principles expounded here in this devotional, I witnessed a markedly different response in the little boy who I cared for.  He came to me when he was nine months old and stayed with me daily until he turned four. Riley loved being in our home and we loved having him. We still see him occasionally and he always asks his mom if he can visit "Granny and Poppy" even now that he's in school.

Humility Encompasses the Alphabet

This is an acrostic writing, meaning that each new thought begins with (or is based on) a letter of the alphabet and follows the sequential order of it. In other words, the first thought starts with the letter A, the second thought starts with the letter B and so on all the way through the alphabet.

The following post covers letters A through F.

Alpha…Make Christ your Alpha – your beginning for true humility. (Philippians 2:3-8)

Brokenness…Learn how to be broken before God. If the grace of God does not bring you to tears often, if you cannot say like the penitent tax collector, “Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner” and weep because He has done that very thing for you, then you are taking God’s grace for granted. Put yourself before His throne of grace and ask Him to give you a heart that is beautiful in His sight. If your heart is cold and unmoved, your parenting will reflect that and God will oppose you. If your heart is broken, humble and contrite, God promises to poor out His grace for your need. (James 4:6)

Correct your children. It is a proud parent who will not discipline their child as God has commanded, for they think they know better than He does how to train their children. (1 Sam 2:29-30; Ephesians 6:1; Hebrews 12:6)

Deprive your child of what he asks for if getting it will fuel his self-centeredness, except when it can provide a tangible lesson about the condition of his heart. (Proverbs 29:17)

Equal training with diverse treatment for each child means that you are committed to training all your children equally in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. But to do that it is necessary to recognize each child for the unique individual that he is and apply godly instruction and discipline in ways specific and appropriate for that child. This task requires humble dependency upon God. (Ephesians. 6:4)

Forgive…Freely forgive as you have been forgiven in Christ and thus teach your children how to forgive also. I remember, as a child, when the news broke about five missionary men in Ecuador being slaughtered by a group of tribesmen in the remote Amazon jungle. The American men had been pursuing contact with the Waodoni tribe in an effort to bring the message of Jesus to the inhabitants of that village.

Nate Saint, one of the men who was slain, had a young son, Steve. Now, in 2011, fifty-five years later, despite his young age at the time, Steve still vividly remembers his mom, Marge Saint, telling him that his dad would never come home again. At five years of age, he was faced with the searing pain of an extremely grievous loss, one that many people have never experienced even as adults.

In a recent interview (by Nancy Leigh DeMoss recounted in her book Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom), Steve was asked if he had ever struggled with bitterness toward his father’s murderers. He replied: "I took my cues from my mom and the four other widows. I never, ever, heard any of them even suggest that God may have made a mistake..." These newly widowed women modeled a depth of godly trust that was evident even to their young children.

The power of those young widows’ faith, manifested before their children in forgiveness toward their husband’s killers, was used of God to shield them, young as they were, "from carrying armfuls of man-made baggage into the next generation". (Matthew 6:12-15; Colossians 3:13)

Copyright Sharon Kaufman 2007/2010

What parenting wisdom have you gleaned from God's word regarding your own children? How have your children responded to Biblical wisdom lived out in humble ways as you nurture and admonish them?

Please go here to read the remaining three posts of Parenting with Humility - From A to Z (scroll down past the first post for the remaining three posts).

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Written by Sharon Kaufman, Contributing Writer

A Divine Calling

Recently, while junking at my favorite thrift store, I found a kitchen blessing written on an old wall hanging. (Oh...the joys of thrifting!) I did edit it a little and added the last few verses. There was no name to identify its author.

But the poem reminds me why God has ordained the wonderful sphere of the home as the wife's occupation in life. What better place could we be? It is a heavenly and high calling. In the home, specifically the kitchen, godly women do the very work that God Himself does. We feed others, which is what God has done from the very beginning of time. He feeds His people. This is divine activity!

In the garden, God fed the man and woman He created; in fact, He created their food even before He fashioned Adam and Eve. The LORD fed the children of Israel manna in the dessert. God kept the widow's jug of oil and jar of flour replenished for herself, her son and Elijah the prophet (1 Kings 17) during a time of famine.

Nourishment as Ministry

During His earthly ministry, Jesus compassionately fed the multitudes. Matt 15:32 tells us about one such time:

Then Jesus called his disciples to Him and said, "I have compassion on the crowd because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat. And I am unwilling to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way."

The first time Jesus fed a multitude there were 5000 men alone, not including women and children. On another occasion (John 6:1-14), Jesus used a young boy's five barley loaves and two small fish to feed upwards of 10,000 hungry people.

Tuning into our family's physical need for food as Jesus did, will move us to compassion to meet that need through nourishment. The love of Christ will be manifested to those we love as we provide food that really satisfies physical hunger and the body's need to build, repair and energize itself.

This is something that many children (or husbands) in the United States do not experience in our day and age as more and more mothers depend upon those outside the home (who have no sense of compassion) to feed them.

Feeding Others - An Opportunity for Spiritual Nourishment

But besides physical food, God supplies His children with spiritual food. In the 23rd Psalm, our Shepherd leads us and feeds us. Jesus told His followers, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst" (John 6:35-36).

Nourishing others with physical food from our kitchens opens to us the opportunity to nourish them spiritually as well. And that, my dear sisters, is what our kitchens are all about.

Feeding Others

Bless my little kitchen, Lord;
I love its every nook.
And bless me as I do my work,
Wash pots and pans and cook.

May the meals that I prepare
Be seasoned from above
With Your blessing and Your grace,
But most of all Your love.

As we partake of earthly food
The table You have spread,
We'll not forget to thank You, Lord,
For all our daily bread.

Please bless my little kitchen, Lord
And those who enter here;
May they find Your joy and peace,
Through Christ the Savior dear.

For what I offer on each plate
Can only gratify
The temporary need one has -
T'will never satisfy.

But Jesus is the Bread of Life;
It is the soul He feeds.
He gives to every hungering heart
Himself, to meet the need.

"She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens." (Proverbs 31:15)

"I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst". (John 6:35-36)

Do you view your kitchen as a place of ministry? What does it look like to use our food preparation as an opportunity to nourish people spiritually?

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When morning gilds the skies my heart awaking cries:
May Jesus Christ be praised!
Alike at work and prayer, to Jesus I repair:
May Jesus Christ be praised!

When you begin the day, O never fail to say,
May Jesus Christ be praised!
And at your work rejoice, to sing with heart and voice,
May Jesus Christ be praised!

I have blessedly fond memories of waking up in the early morning to find my mother huddled in her robe, praying at the kitchen table - her Bible, study materials, and several different colors of highlighters in front of her folded hands.

I always thought she was amazing, sitting there every morning, hours before anyone else rose.  I believed it was something all mothers did; that it would simply "happen" when I had children of my own, and I would be this amazing mother sitting in a chair, basking in the Glory of God each morning.

Fast forward to current day:

Up before dawn, not to study, but because our 3 year old is still coughing, and now needs a warming pack on his chest with camphor oil.  Back to bed, not to sleep, but to nurse our 1 year old, so she doesn't wake my husband up before his alarm goes off. Up again (still before dawn), to pack my husband's lunch, and to get the milking buckets ready for chores.  By now, our 5 year old is awake, and wanting to cuddle before he has to share Moma with two others.  As soon as we sit down in the chair, I hear my husband's alarm go off, and the day really gets going - kids up and dressed, making breakfast while everyone goes out to do chores, nursing a baby, and then making sure all the dirty boots and jackets don't walk back inside for breakfast.

It's now nearly 9 am, and time for our schooltime.  And my quiet time with the Lord?  Does crying out to Him for strength and patience while I'm nursing our little ones count?  Does reading the Bible story for school time qualify? What about locking myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes and praying that God understands I'm trying to be with Him, but this life keeps getting in the way?

photo credit

I've been there. What a blessed relief that God does hear and understand those prayers.  But that is no way to continue a relationship with our Lord and Savior!

Here are three simple ways to begin our days seeking first His kingdom:

1) Start today. We can tell ourselves that we'll begin that new habit after the baby is sleeping thru the night, or perhaps when the toddler is not sick anymore, or maybe even save it for that New Year's resolution... next year. It's far better to start today and hold ourselves to the commitment without delay.  Even if our time begins as 5 minutes, gradually building to more - we should begin as soon as possible.

2) Stay interested. This is a tough one for many of us.  I personally had a hard time just beginning to read my Bible every day.  I would lose my train of thought halfway through my reading, and end up more frustrated because I feel like I'm wasting time.  Find a Bible study program and use it.  If it's not working, choose a different one!  I love the ministry of At the Well, and use their daily email devotions to jumpstart my study time.  I also use various devotionals (My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers is a favorite) and materials provided by our church to round out my quiet time.

3) Find accountability. For some of us, this can happen through a women's study group.  For others, it will be a friend who needs the same support.  For myself, I have a wonderful husband who is incredibly helpful in keeping me motivated.  He began waking earlier than I did for several weeks, and started a pot of tea for me... just a simple act, but it encouraged me to meet his gentle challenge to wake before our children, and take the time I needed to spend with my Savior.  We may not all need someone to keep us on track, but it is a blessing to have when we are first beginning our journey.

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The Lord knows our needs. He is best suited to meet each and every one.  We cannot commune with Him without delving deeply into His Word  - and what better way to begin our day then with our Father's guiding hand placed firmly around our steps!

What ways do you find time to begin your day with the Lord?

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Written by Sherrie Cook, Contributing Writer

For many years I've disliked filling out paperwork at a doctor's office or school that asks for my employment status.  I struggle with knowing the right adjective or title to describe all I do in a day. Usually, I simply put "homemaker".  That never seems fair to anyone.  Does that mean that the mother who works is not a homemaker, too?  No.  Does that mean that all I do all day is manage my home?  Of course not.  So really, it's not fair to any moms anywhere.

I suppose it's because there are never enough lines in the packet to explain what the real job of being a mommy encompasses. Even if there were enough lines, we moms wouldn't have ample time to sit there and fill in all the details of our days!

Some days it seems all we get accomplished is to change diapers and wash endless faces and wipe away falling tears and dam up dripping noses.  Sometimes, we get to celebrate successes and at other times we have to do our best to mend broken hearts. Sometimes our waking hours are distracted by looming decisions regarding the future of our children...sometimes our nights get consumed, too.

Throw in breakfast, baths, homework, packing lunches, creating wholesome dinners, character training, errands, cleaning house, soccer, baseball and volleyball practice, church time, husband time, and a little family time and our schedules are filled to the top! overflowing!  (Notice I skipped personal time, exercise and sleep, among others.  Those are the ones that get cut first anyway, right?)

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Distracted by Doing "Good"

So why is it that we always think we can take on more? And more?  And MORE?  Like... involvement in the worship choir, teaching a Bible class, president of the PTO, soccer coach, part-time job, co-op coordinator, troop leader, ladies class instructor, mentor, head chef for small group and secretary for the neighborhood association!

Can you identify with some [if not all] of those titles above?  As women who love God, we earnestly want to serve Him. We see a need and we want to fill it.  If we're asked to participate in a noble cause, we most often respond positively.

If the request was for something illegal or a blatant waste of time, we would have no problem walking away, but all the things (and we all know there are way more) listed above have merit. They are "good" things in which to be involved.  They help our families, our friends and lost souls.  They need to be done.  And somewhere in the dark corners of our minds, perhaps many of us know that if we don't step in and fill the role, no one will.

In many cases, I believe, that being distracted by doing good is one of the ways the evil one uses to get a foothold on the hearts of God fearing women. Women who have a heart for Jesus.  Women who want to serve Him by serving their families.  Women who desire to model the woman of Proverbs 31.  Women like you and me.

I, personally, have been dabbling in this very drudgery.  I'm learning every day, hard lessons.  I'm making heart wrenching choices about where I can truly be involved.

Right now, I am a mother of very young children.  I feel like I have so much to give to my family, my friends, my neighborhood, my world!  I am embarrassed to admit that at times I feel like my gifts are being stifled or wasted while I do this "mom thing".  It is when I bring that confession to the Lord that I can hear Him whisper, "Be the best mommy you can be.  Today.  Let tomorrow take care of itself."

It is then that I'm reminded that being "only a mom" or "just a mother" is enough.  It is enough for God.  It is enough for my children.  It is enough for me.  Right now, I'm pleased to say that motherhood is my season. If it is your season too, I pray you will join me as we strive to find peace in the presence of this awesome calling.

Do you ever struggle with "only" being a mother? How do you combat those struggles?

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Guest Post by Hallee

I have a new venture in my life. One recent morning in Sunday School, our teacher announced that our class would be one of four groups who would be volunteering with a local church's soup kitchen. That immediately got my attention. I had no idea my little town in central Kentucky had a soup kitchen.

I have always felt a strong calling from God to serve. Lately, it's become an almost audible voice in my ear. I've discussed it with my husband, Gregg, feeling like the call was to go "out" - to join a mission group, pack a suitcase, and go -- which would be a lot easier to consider if my husband wasn't in Afghanistan, leaving me at home alone with three children. The conflict between this call versus my duties and responsibilities and love and life here occasionally overwhelmed my emotions. I felt like I was suffocating.

As soon as I heard the announcement about the soup kitchen, I wanted to get to work. I didn't want to tarry while everything was coordinated, schedules were created, for me to wait my turn to go work just once a month. I now felt overwhelmed with this urgent, immediate feeling of "NOW".

The next week, I fought the urge to call the host church of the soup kitchen all week which would have preempted my own church's plans. I planned my youngest sons' 2nd birthday party, entertained my parents from out of town, and enjoyed a weekend mini-revival at my church. Vacation Bible School started on Monday, and all day I would reach for the phone to call the soup kitchen, but set it back down again. That night at VBS, where I worked in the kitchen feeding the staff and helpers and serving snacks to the kids, I talked with our pastor while he ate, confessing my desire to step forward and work right away.

He told me he was going to the church the next morning with our youth pastor and the head of the men's ministry, and invited me to join them. We worked Tuesday, getting an idea of what was needed so that schedules could be coordinated, and as we finished the day, the pastor told the head of the ministry that we would start our volunteer rotation in July.

I told her I'd be back the next day.

I found out that just one elderly woman cooked five days a week all by herself. At one time, there had been 2 cooks, but one of them hasn't worked for the last two months due to illness. That left this lone woman to do everything all by herself, and she confessed to me that she felt "plumb wore out." It was very easy to step up and say that I would start cooking even more.

My prayer is to be a complete blessing to this wonderful ministry. My family follows a Levitical diet. Among other things, we don't eat pork. The first morning serving at the soup kitchen, we took big cans labeled with nothing more than "U.S. Government Pork". We picked through the canned pig flesh and pulled out big chunks of fat and threw them out, then mixed the remaining meat with K.C. Masterpiece Barbecue Sauce (second ingredient: high fructose corn syrup). This we served on pre-packaged white bread hamburger buns, with Lays potato chips and canned peaches for sides. Dessert was a sugar-free cherry pie artificially sweetened with sucralose.

Almost all of the food is donated by amazing companies. There is a huge warehouse filled with cans and boxes and bottles, and the woman who runs it all (and who is the only other cook besides myself) sits down with her inventory and creates a menu plan. She does this on her own time, completely volunteer, and out of her heart.

The donated food isn't piece-meal, as if the product of a community food drive. There are giant pallets of boxed mashed potatoes or gallon cans of green beans. Corporations give, processing plants give, grocery stores give. A local grocery store gives all of their day-old bread and desserts by the truck full, and what isn't served that day is set on a table to be given out.

And this leads me to what I perceive as a very modern problem.

I'm going to pre-empt this by saying that I in no way am criticizing the ministry. I am not criticizing the generous companies that regularly donate this food to this organization. Nor am I criticizing the people who work so tirelessly, as volunteers, to serve this food to those who are clearly in so much need. What I am criticizing is the very existence of this food in the first place.

A woman came that day we served the BBQ sandwiches. She had a terrible headache and collapsed in the arms of the head cook, just sobbing, because she was so tired and so hungry and hadn't eaten for two days. People come into this church and eat two, three, sometimes four helpings because this is the only food they're going to get all day.

But the food is poisoning them.

Image by NatalieMaynor

I think I have been removed from the real world for too long. I live in my "real food" bubble, with my fresh fruits and vegetables, good meats, free-range eggs, organic dairy, and fresh milled flour. We choose to spend more on groceries and take more time on meals so that our family can benefit from the extra cost and the extra effort. In the end, we spend much less on health care. And when I have occasion to walk through the grocery store aisles, I have actually found myself getting angry with the volume of just pure junk that crowds the shelves.

I wonder when the tables turned. When did processed, chemical laden, nutrient lacking pre-packaged foods became the most economical, the most convenient, the thing that everyone wanted. Why does society just accept that a meal-in-a-box sitting on a grocery store shelf for possibly months at a time is 'as good' as fresh meat and fresh ingredients being used to make a dish of the same name?

I watch these poor, hungry people; so many of whom are sick, toothless, wheezing, hurting -- and I want to hug them and then feed them GOOD food. I want to offer them rich breads and hearty fresh produce. I want to make big batches of a bone broth and load it down with fresh vegetables and aromatic, medicinal herbs and serve it with fresh-baked whole grain bread.

But there is no way I can do that. I can't afford to feed hundreds of people a day all by myself. Even if I could afford it, I'm facing a society of people who don't understand that there is even anything wrong with the mega-farm, factory-processed, all-of-the-life-sucked-out-of-it ultra pasteurized, ultra-homogenized, artificially colored, artificially sweetened food.

I think as I became a "real foodie" and started making the best choices for my family, and as the last six years have gone by and I've removed myself from the junk food world, that I've put on blinders.

I find myself getting angry in the grocery store, then pretend that it isn't there. What? Hallee the Homemaker angry? Yes. I am. I watch shows like Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution and get fired up about our kids' school lunches and the health of the children today, and assume that everyone else has the exact same reaction that I have to it. I assume that people just naturally care about it, and are willing to make the changes that I have made, all of which have so greatly improved our quality of life.

I assume that corporations know that the artificial this and that, the preservatives and industrial grade chemicals, the processing that they put food through -- I assume that they know how harmful to the health of consumers these things are and they are are willing to make changes that will better serve us in the end. And I am so very disappointed every time I read the labels of new products to find hydrogenated this and high fructose that all sweetened with aspartame.

Now I'm in the mix of it. Now I'm cooking with it. There simply is no other option. You can't tell someone who hasn't eaten for two days that they can't eat this food because it isn't good for them. I mean, come on.

The biggest problem is the ignorance (and I use this term in it's purist meaning - as in a lack of knowledge and education - and not in a derogatory manner) of most consumers in society. What do you have to do to food to make it shelf-worthy in cardboard for months? What do you have to strip away from it and add to it for that to happen? And why don't we seem to care?

In my perfect world, the donated food would come from local farms. It would take a few more volunteers and a lot more time and effort (A LOT more time and effort), but the food would be wholesome, nourishing, healing, and healthy. And it would more than fill the bellies of the people who eat it - it would benefit their lives, too.

I feel like maybe God is using me for this. Maybe He's sent my family on this real food path, sent us seeking all of the books and information and education. Maybe my exposure to the real foodie community through my blog and through such amazing sites like Keeper of the Home and Kelly the Kitchen Kop has been to prepare me for this ministry. Maybe this journey has brought me to this soup kitchen so that I can help impact it and start getting these people good food.

Yesterday, I talked with the owner of the fruit stand the boys and I walk to a few times a week - where we shop for all of our seasonal fruits and vegetables. After he donated a huge portion of the apples, pears, and peaches I needed for a bake sale, I talked to him about donating produce that he couldn't sell anymore to the soup kitchen. With his supplier contacts and local farming networks, I think that we can start getting some fresh food coming into the soup kitchen.

It's a start. I'm happy to start somewhere.

Hallee Bridgeman is a homemaker and mother of 3 in small town Kentucky who juggles cloth diapers, grain mills, two precocious toddlers, a teenager, and a ministry that has her feeding hundreds of people a week -- all while her husband is in Afghanistan. She has been blogging since August and covers everything from fresh ground whole wheat bread bowls and the breakdown model for Biblical womanhood, to how to clean chubby little lipstick hand-prints off of eggshell white walls. Hallee the Homemaker is delighted to be guest-posting for Keeper of the Home.

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Written by Sharon Kaufman, Contributing Writer

"She does him good... all the days of her life."

Continued from yesterday's post...

But What if My Husband Objects?

This is not unusual and can be frustrating. I have found that submission, prayer and/or a respectful appeal (in order to come to an agreeable solution, if need be) always honor God, guards against frustration and often obtains an open-mindedness from my husband. Here are some typical and reasonable objections your husband might offer:

“I really don’t care to eat that stuff.”

Personally, I would love to serve seafood once a week, but Robert loathes anything out of the water. Knowing that the Omega 3’s that fish provide are vital to health, I put it before the Lord and the answer came – COD LIVER OIL. Can you believe that? My husband would rather go hungry than let one morsel of mackerel, etc. pass through his lips, yet he will gladly slurp down a spoonful of cod liver oil (lemon taste, not fishy) every morning.

A friend of mine tried numerous times in numerous ways to introduce unrefined coconut oil to her husband, but he disliked it and detected it no matter how she disguised it in his food. Finally she relented and put her gallon of coconut oil to rest.

Subsequently, one evening after retiring for bed, her husband, attempting to kiss her goodnight, gagged and then lamented, “I cannot even give my wife a kiss goodnight without tasting that stuff!” Since she was no longer using coconut oil in the kitchen, she had begun using it as a skin moisturizer.

But here's the clincher.  My Bible study group met at this lady’s house. When it was my turn for snack, I made popcorn - popped in coconut oil and slathered with butter. After study, her husband waltzed in and ask for something to nibble on. Not remembering the coconut oil debacle, I handed him a bag of popcorn. He gobbled it down with absolute relish, savoring every bite. Realizing this, it was all I could do to keep a straight face.

The Lord often manifests His sense of humor in providing answers and encouragement!

“We cannot afford organic.”

This is where it really pays to know your stuff. If you've educated yourself, you can respectfully appeal to your husband. Pray first, then approach him with ideas to make whole food work within your budget. Following is a sampling of what you might present:

Economize by:

• Buying toxin-free conventionally raised produce such as thick-skinned fruit (citrus, melons, avocados, bananas and more) and also many vegetables.
• Growing your own produce organically.
• Serving economy meals – soups, legumes, etc.
• Eliminating expensive convenience faux-foods/not eating out as often.
• Making cleaning and beauty products from common household ingredients.
• Planning a menu.
• Learning from experienced women how to economize.

Assure your husband that you will pray as Jesus instructed, “Give us this day our daily bread", and believe He will. Robert and I live on a meager income and have never had to compromise at the grocery store because God has faithfully provided for us. We have not been disappointed and have found that our "thankfulness quotient" has skyrocketed.

“I'm happy with the way we've always eaten.”

If this is your situation and your husband will not be persuaded otherwise, and if it concerns his tastes rather than the budget, there are many things that you can do to make his meals more nutritious. Here are some ideas:

• Switch from toxic fats and oils to those that are nourishing.
• Switch from processed sugar to healthy alternatives.
• Make your own salad dressings (the ones your hubby really likes) and mayonnaise.
• Buy bacon and wieners, etc. that do not contain nitrites and nitrates.
• Make hamburgers from grass-fed beef instead of conventional beef.
• Buy snacks your husband prefers (potato chips for instance) that are made with cold-pressed monounsaturated oils instead of polyunsaturated heat-extracted oils.
• Make healthy alternatives of the processed foods he's used to - for instance, stuffing made from scratch that mimics (no, it tastes better than) the mix you make on top of the stove.

“What about desert?”

Your husband may fear that his sweet tooth will be starved (actually, that’s not a bad thing). Assure him that you will make his sweets from scratch (perhaps this is yet another way to budget for whole foods), using healthy alternative sweeteners – palm sugar, organic maple syrup, Rapadura, stevia. (Follow this link to learn why agave is even worse than HFCS.)

Since I have never baked much, our sweet treats include puddings, baked apples, parfaits, homemade ice cream, fresh peaches (or other fruit) with cream (yum!). These sweets offer less carbs than baked goods and also some nutrition in the form of eggs, cream and milk. Still, these types of foods should be served only occasionally since they still contain sugars. Alternatively, try serving salty treats such as popcorn, popped as mentioned above, peanut or almond butter on celery or salty nuts prepared for optimum nutrition.

Some Practical Ways to Nourish Your Husband

• Make breakfast. After fasting 10 hours or more and with a full day ahead, breakfast is vital for energy and general health. “Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.”
• Pack a lunch if your husband eats away from home while working.
• If your husband fills up on the main course and neglects his salad, serve the salad as a first course along with his favorite (healthy homemade) dressing.
• Provide plenty of good fat with each meal; it satiates hunger better than carbs or protein. Your husband will go longer without needing snacks. Slather cooked veggies in butter (fat also assists in the delivery and metabolizing of nutrients in your body).

God is Honored

When it is your desire to "do your husband good" in this fashion God is glorified. He will provide in ways that you never dreamed of. Pray about any difficulties you encounter, continue your education, plan your menu, go to bed earlier, listen to your husband, and eat as many meals together as possible at the table. Go ahead...do him good!

What other snack and economizing ideas can you offer? How has your husband responded to your "doing him good" in this way?

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