Written by Rachel, Contributing Writer
Before you start reading this, I just want to let you know that I do not do all these things with blissful glee. I want to, I'm a work in progress with the intention of being a more godly wife, probably much like you.
Sometimes when I read about the Proverbs 31 wife, I feel in adequate, that I'll never measure up and that I've failed A LOT!
At times, instead of lifting my husband up, I put him down. I've been quick to reply with harsh words, and since my nature isn't touchy-feely, I've avoided giving the kisses and hugs when he gets home from work even when I know he so desperately needs them.
So with that said, here are 7 Ways to LOVE our husbands, or as I'll look at it, to be the BETTER wife that I so desperately want to be. And as Valentine's Day approaches and we begin thinking about loving our husbands, I hope this list can inspire us to be just that--become better, more godly wives to our guys.
7 Ways to Love Your Husband
1. Be full of encouragement.
Be supportive, helping him fulfill his needs and goals in life.
I once heard someone say that one of the most attractive things a wife can do for her husband is to support him. Encourage him to not give up on God-given goals when they aren't happening or are slow in coming. Lift him up instead of nagging or tearing him down.
2. Don't make him guess.
Okay, this is one I struggle with. Anyone else?
In my own mind I can battle thinking, "He should have known," or "I cannot believe he didn't think that!" He's not a mind reader nor does he even think like us women.
If I wait for him to figure it out, he most likely never will. And, in the end, I will be hurt by my own thoughts. So I am learning that I just need to tell him my thoughts, concerns or hurts. This makes for much better communication.
3. Respect him.
Ephesians 5:33 says: "Let the wife see that she respects her husband." So what does this mean anyway?
I'm definitely still learning, but I believe it's to respect his knowledge and decisions--to not always think you are right, and even if you do, let him be right and not argue or question him.
Respecting him also goes when he isn't around and how you talk about him with your friends.
4. Learn his love language.
We all interpret being loved or even loving in different ways. For example, my love language is words of affirmation. I can feel like my husband loves me when he lifts me up, compliments me and shows me appreciation.
You can both take a quiz to see what yours love languages are. This will help you to love him better by understanding how he feels yours love. Take the test here.
5. Pray for him.
Ephesians 6:18 says, "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people." Praying for your husband is an opportunity to lift him up, and it's also good for our spiritual health.
Things to consider praying about for your guy:
- his goals
- wisdom regarding family decisions
- for him to guard his heart
- courage and godly character
- for him to be the father and provider God has called him to be
- for God to show you how to be a godly wife to him and how to love him best
6. Plan a date night.
Not all men are like this, but for some of our guys, if we sat around and waited for them to plan a date night, it might not ever happen. And the truth is we wives are usually the ones who are more creative in this department anyway.
I know my husband finds it romantic when I plan a date and get everything ready. He is so busy that I can take this burden off of him. Check out Beauty in the Mess for inexpensive date ideas, and Intentional by Grace for 42 date night ideas.
7. Ask him for three daily requests.
I'm not sure where I heard about his brilliant idea, but I know it's a keeper. Sometimes we moms have so much on our plates, yet we still struggle with feeling guilty.
The truth is that we simply cannot get it all done, most of our husbands do not expect us to. So why not ask him for just three things he'd love for you to accomplish or get done for him that day?
When I do this, my husband might ask me to iron two shirts, drop that mail we've been meaning to send off at the post office or call the landlord about something. I then have an idea of what I can do to help him out instead of feeling bad that I didn't iron five shirts, running x, y and z errands or call multiple people who needed to be called.
I accomplished those things he needed me to get done plus went about my regular tasks that day, like caring for our children.
There are a lot more ways we could have discussed on how to love our husbands, including keeping the romance alive (Hey, I feel ya, I'm eight months pregnant, but this is SO important...it's how God wired our guys!) , expressing gratitude or even talking about the dreaded nagging we sometimes all do. But my hope is that this list can be a invitation to truly love our husbands and become the godly wives we are called to be.
What other ways do you love your husband? What are your best suggestions on learning to be a better wife?
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