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Pro-Mom, Not Pro-Blogger
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Stephanie, you are making a wise choice, one you will NOT regret. I have shared your weariness with the pace of the women’s blogosphere and–after doing it for over four years–only just now feel that I’ve learned how to strike some balance. As someone who has wrestled with the same questions, I urge you to keep asking them, and keep focused on what is most important. Ambition and creativity can be lovely things, and they will always be here for you to develop in a different life season–but your little ones will be little for SUCH a short time!
Excellence!
I read this post with awe. Refocusing is hard when we feel we are getting kudos from strangers.
Thank you for a glimpse to real life as a woman, mom and wife!
.-= AnneofAlamo´s last blog ..Finished! =-.
Thank you so much for this post. So many of us moms feel the pressure to have a perfect home, perfect children, the perfect marriage AND have a career as well (and as you pointed out, blogging can become as demanding as an outside-the-home career!). As one of your readers who used to visit your blog and wonder how in the world you were keeping up with everything, I fully support your decision to back off and give yourself a break!
You seem to be a fantastic mom, wife, housekeeper and woman of God and giving yourself time to focus and develop those roles can only mean good things for you and your family. I really believe that all women need to examine their “to-do” lists and decide what needs to be a priority and what needs to change.
Your honesty is so refreshing – so many moms are afraid to admit that their daily lives are less than picture-perfect . Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU and may God bless you and your family this Christmas season!
I think this is something that many of us struggle with….and it’s awesome that you’re choosing what truly matters most. I can’t speak for anyone else but I’m behind you 100%. Thank you for truly being a model for the rest of us!
.-= Kristen´s last blog ..Great Wolf Lodge Review (Part III–How they do "Green") =-.
Thanks for the keeping it so real here, you have touched my heart. I just put up an announcement on my blog that there will only be reruns while I bake cookies and fudge with my kiddos!
I will be back…but I will have a different outlook! Have a blessed and fruitful Christmas Season! Kim
.-= the inadvertent farmer´s last blog ..Cookie Tuesday =-.
This is the first time I’ve been on your blog but I wanted to thank you for this post! Looking forward to reading some of the comments above.
.-= Quietmom´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Fabric =-.
Stephanie – Our Lord works in wondrous ways! This confirmed niggling thoughts I was having about blogging, where I was going to go with it (I haven’t gone far!) and what God’s will was for that. This post helped support all those thoughts. Thank you! This post is much needed in the mom-blog world. May the Lord bless you and your family.
.-= Kimarie @ Cardamom’s Pod´s last blog ..Wooden Toys Giveaway =-.
Go you! This is the reason I quite blogging. I love it, but it takes way too much time that I just don’t have with three kids 2 and under!
I have recently been thinking over the same things as I realized I was allowing computer/blogging time to take priority while important things in the home were being left untended. I have had to reevaluate my priorities and set a more reasonable schedule for myself. Thank you for sharing these thoughts.
.-= Rose´s last blog ..Cooking Up a Storm =-.
Yes, this is my heart – in fact, I could’ve written this!
I have toned things down on my own blog too, because I was feeling that pressure to keep up with everyone else. My blog still isn’t huge, but I have lovely, faithful friends who visit and leave me encouragement regularly. That is what God has blessed me with and that is what I want to be content with. I may be Super Mom (*wink*), but I am not all powerful. There is no way I could continue to build my blog AND home school AND train my children AND keep house AND be there for my husband AND everything else in between. Building a blog takes quite a bit of time. More than many of us are willing to admit, I think.
Unfortunately, something I have come to learn is, no matter how many followers/subscribers we gain, it will never be enough. We will always want more and we will always have in our head that they have expectations of us to write miraculous content every.single.day.
I’ve learned, it’s just not possible. It’s difficult to write more content then you’re living out.
I am also finding that the longer I stay away from reading and writing blog posts, the more ideas I come up with for writing. In that case, I jot them down in a notebook for when I can sit down to write my thoughts out. I do that rather than staring at a computer screen, waiting for inspiration to smack me in the face so I can write something awesome.
I haven’t perfected that technique yet, but it’s better than it used to be.
So, good for you and thank you for sharing your heart because it speaks to many women–including me. :)
.-= Christin´s last blog ..{A Homemade Christmas} Framed Photography =-.
I’ve been thinking about your post since yesterday, Stephanie. Clearly so many mamas identify with what you’re saying here, and I really admire your courage for putting it all out there so openly. That connection is what is so powerful about the blogosphere.
At the same time, I think the reason you want to feel like a Somebody is, because, you ARE a Somebody. God made you to feel that way (w/o the other stuff we often add to the mix); He made you with passions, gifts, AND with the desire to share those with others. And His hand has been with you, giving success to this space.
Of course none of that should come above your family. And I’ve often read your posts, especially since your newest addition, and thought that you should scale back a bit (at least I know I would need to in your shoes!). But you do have something really unique and valuable to share.
Maybe now is just not the right season to share it; or maybe it is. I’ve no doubt that God will show you, and give you courage to follow the guidance He gives.
Personally, I would not have any problems with my kids drawing me in front of the computer. This is where I do some of my work! This is where I write, craft, learn, and use my unique talents for the benefit of others. In all these things I am setting an example for my children in so many ways.
Now, if that is out of balance, then yes it’s a problem. But in balance, it is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Praying that you’ll know the right way to head,
Jamie
.-= steadymom´s last blog ..My New Priority: Moms’ 30-Minute Blog Challenge =-.
B U M M E R!! Okay, now that I got that out of the way…good for you!! I love your blog and have a few choice ones I follow, yours being on top. I admire you for putting it all out there. Good luck and i will still keep checking in. Less frequently is fine with me and I guess we will have to make sure we have any published books in case we need something to look back at. I LOVE YOUR BLOG and I am so glad you love your family so too!! You are a great mom and wife, Kristy
I just loved this whole post! Thank you for this. You just have no idea how much you just helped me….”please don’t keep going this way” is what God said to me through YOU!
I love hearing God through other and I look forward to not hearing Him as often through you….gives others a chance! LOL
Blessings on you and yours….and thank you. It’s good to get your priorities straight isn’t it?
Hugs
I agree with you. Your family is the priority in your life and your other roles come as “amendments” to that. Funny that you should write this. I had the same ephiphany a year ago when I gave up my own online business, because I realized the toll it was taking on my kids and my husband. While I do miss some of the excitement of writing for an online audience, I so much more enjoy the happy and healthy children I have and the happy and content husband that continues to support all of my ambitions. Peace and blessings to you and your family.
Stephanie, I applaude you for making the decision to slow down! I recently did the same thing. I was working from home from the time my son was 2, and while I spent way more time with him than mothers who work outside the home, I still felt like my focus was not where it should be. When I was playing with my son, my mind was still on business matters. I couldn’t sleep at night for thinking about it all. I got more and more stessed every day. Eventually, I had a little breakdown, or really a breakthrough, and made the decision to put the business on hold for a while. Since I have, I’ve learned that no matter what I do, I still have stress and problems, but now that I’m focusing on my family, I have problems that I’m happy to confront, knowing that finding solutions will improve our lives, and not just make me more money. I am so happy I made this decision, and I know you will be too! Never be afraid to put your family first!
I could have written this post. Well, perhaps not as eloquently, but you wove together the very words that have been my heart for some time now. You put into the words I’ve written posts entitled “The grass is always greener on the other blog” and “Burnt to a crisp” because I’m trying to be an uber blogger when really, what I want to be is a child of God, loving wife, and a good mom.
As I recently wrote, blogging is a gift to women in many, many ways. It can also become an extension of Christ, a true ministry where we reach out to one another, but it quickly loses its virtue when it makes us feel unworthy. This is what I sometimes struggle with. Too often I might find myself thinking, “Well if this mom of [insert number larger than the three kids I have] can find time to blog, then I certainly should be able to.” So I push myself and what is supposed to be a source of enjoyment and encouragement as well as a means of growing spiritually quickly starts to feel like a burden.
I, too, am cutting back on blogging as well as reading others’ blogs (even though they’re often a great source of enjoyment). While writing itself is not a source of stress for me, worrying about writing for an audience in Blogville, thinking I was disappointing my followers with a lack of posts, and/or spending too much time reading other blogs can become a source of anxiety and angst.
That’s why I, too, plan on maintaining my more laid-back approach to blogging even after our life slows down. I also am scheduling regular Internet fasts – usually on Sundays as well as longer fasts throughout the year. Your post has offered much encouragement – thank you for your honesty and humility.
This season of Advent is such a wonderful reminder to prepare our hearts and our homes for Christ and to be present for our family. I want time to do just that.
Signing off… God bless!
just found your blog three days ago,from something a friend posted on facebook, I never ever read blogs, but yours got my attention, and I have read it three days in a row, and then I see this post! God brought your blog to my attention for a reason, I too, struggle with this very thing, yet its not blogging, its my own little business of refinishing furniture. I make great money, I have fun doing it, I look forward to it, I feel great acommplishment from it, I love getting compliments from others.(which is truly meaningless, because really our feeling of worth should be completely from Jesus, because of Him, not because of what we have done, or what we can accomplish)
I do miss just being a mom, no other pressure taking my attention away from my kids and husband. I have slowed down these past three months, and have been enjoying it. I am too playing with the idea of just quitting it altogether, its very hard to let go of something I enjoy and make good money at!! But then again, I only have this short time with my kids, and when I grow old, I too, don’t want them to remember me spending my time painting, but being a good mom. Lord, please help us all to find balance!!! Please lead us in the path You want us to take!!
.-= painter´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at =-.
Good Girl, Stephanie. Everyone needs to step back and reevaluate, and thereby gain perspective routinely. Balance and moderation in all things. I love your blog, and support your maybe fewer posts or once a week posts or something decision. The New Year coming, this is an excellent way to get back on track. You are a blessing to many, but you are right, your kids and hubby need to be first.
Way to go! You have made a wonderful discovery, and a great choice. You have a wonderful family and we are thankful you share them with us, but they are the inspiration and focus of your life, not us.
I have struggled with the “comment addiction” of blogging. I’ve been blogging for over 7 years now. I finally had to let it go (about 3 years ago) and have since archived and privatized many of my posts. Now it’s back to just being my family photo journal. :)
I pray that God will continue to use you to encourage more and more moms to dohealthy things for their families… but more-over that God will bless you with a healthy lifestyle for your own home, a lifestyle that centers around your heart for your family and the way God uses that heart.
Wow – a few of your comments really struck me. I can see my kids drawing me glued to the computer screen too. I’ve been trying to turn the computer off during the day.
I did wonder how you were managing sometimes and am glad you were able to sort through and find your priorities. Our tasks as wives and mothers are very great and it is a huge responsibility!
I do see you have a talent though and if put in the right perspective and used at the right time it is very God glorifying. It always comes down to the “why” am I doing this.
Take care!
.-= Suzanne´s last blog ..Elise Doll and a Giveaway! =-.
Thank you, Stephanie. We don’t know each other, and yet I am so proud of you for taking a stand for your blessed priority of being a wife and mother. Too many women are giving in to the constant pressure that society (and other Christians) place on us to be career-oriented. It is a battle we need to constantly be concious of and engaged in. You’ve blessed me so much in the last year that I’ve been reading your blog, but what will be a greater blessing will be the investment you make in your precious children for the Kingdom. God will certainly bless your decision since you’ve kept Him at the center of it!
I know it’s not easy, as I have started blogging since I began reading yours. I don’t have your following, obviously, but it’s starting to take more of my time (my daughter sleeps and my son is in my arms as I type). I struggle with the feeling of needing to do and be more all the time. I am jusy hoping that in a year or so I will put a lot of that energy into serving others locally (shelters and church and such) and bring my kids to teach them to serve, too. It seems a better pursuit if only because you can involve your children too. But I wish you the best, whenever you decide to stop. Sometimes I wish I had that courage but I have always had the drive to multi-task to the max (one reason I want a lot of kids). :)
.-= Kate´s last blog ..Ways to Save Money Around the House =-.
I am sure this was not an easy decision for you and thank you so much for sharing it with all of us. Your blog is fabulous and very helpful, and you have to do what is right and good for yourself and family. Take care and know you made a very wise choice. Hang in there!
This is precisely what I am dealing with right now. I am encouraged…thank you.
Amy @ Raising Arrows
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Frugal Gift Wrapping =-.
Oh, you are speaking to my heart tonight. I’ve been feeling exactly like this–for months now–I get caught up in the excitement, the ambition, the growth. But then when I take a break I just LOVE being with my kids, taking care of my family, and ignoring the computer. I’ve been so torn about what place to put my blog in. I need to take some time over the holidays (between kids and visitors) to reflect and make decisions.
Thank you for being so open and honest.
Amen Stephanie! What you are choosing to do is really going to bless you and your family in so many ways. I can’t speak for everyone but from what it shows in your comments we will miss your posts. However, I think we all understand and praise you for putting family first. May God continue to bless you!
God will honor your hearts desire
Thank you for a great post. I struggle with the same thing although I don’t blog…I prioritize so many silly things above spending time with my precious children and then at the end of the day wonder where my time with them has gone. You are a great encouragement to me because you share my values and passions, so I am thankful for the time you do spend on your blog. But, I would love it still to just hear what you’re thinking about- nothing fancy. Your posts seem to be about something I am currently considering or something I appreciate considering and you definitely help me to be a better homemaker, wife, and mommy. You are a blessing!
So well put, Stephanie!
I haven’t been blogging as long and don’t have nearly the readership, but since my newest little one came along this fall I’ve cut way back in my blogging – I feel like I still have so many thoughts I want to share and 50 blog post ideas floating through my head on any given day, but I’m not willing to make the time right now to get them all out on a regularly scheduled basis like I used to be able to do. Maybe when I’m getting a bit more sleep. I think our babies are pretty close in age – I used to blog after bedtime, but right now this mama needs to go to bed just as soon as she has a few minutes to unwind after the babies are in bed.
Take care,
Stephanie
.-= Steph @ Problem Solvin Mom´s last blog ..Mail Time! Make your own mailbox… =-.
Amen and Amen! I felt the stress last year and slowly backed away from blogging. It was dangerous and risky, because I own a design business too…but I have not really regretted it, and I dare say that anyone has missed my posts.
It was fun for a season, but once it became a “job”, something I felt I had to do — I was spending far too much time on it and my family got the leftovers. I just didn’t want to live like that anymore.
Kudos to you for realizing this – and I’m sure that some of the other moms will admit to feeling the same way.
.-= Karen Lewis´s last blog ..A lesson on Socialism =-.
@Megan@SortaCrunchy, Bless you, Megan. Always right to the heart, my friend. I know you’re tired, I could tell. Give yourself some space, Mama (hmm, I think you’ve given me that sage advice before :).
Yes, it was a little risky to post. I wasn’t sure how it would be received. But hubby and I talked about it and he felt that I should go ahead and post it if I truly felt that it was where I was at and what I needed to communicate. I’m so glad I did! *Hugs*
@Katie @ Kitchen Stewardship, Yes, it was really published at 3:00am… thank you auto-post! LOL! I never publish posts at that time. I always write my posts at least one day ahead and then set them to auto-post nice and early for all of my early-bird East coast readers!
Don’t worry, I’m not leaving Twitter either ! :)
Tears sprang to my eyes when I read about the picture your daughter drew, for I knew my girls would draw the same thing. Stephanie, as others have said, I feel you absolutely opened my heart and read my thoughts about where I am in all of this. I’m tired, tired, tired. Would you believe next month will be my FOURTH anniversary of blogging? I don’t want to try to be Pro Blogger anymore. I can’t tell you how often in the past 18 months I’ve been *this close* to walking away from it all. You know what? Next year might be the year I do just that.
I think in some ways this post must have been risky for you to share. Thank you for taking the risk. I am unspeakable encouraged by you sharing your heart in this way.
.-= Megan@SortaCrunchy´s last blog ..since you’ve been meaning to anyway . . . =-.
Thank you, Stephanie! I had tears in my eyes as I finished reading your post. I’ve been thinking about my blog, too. I’m not big-time at all, but I’m trying to decide where to take it. As I read your post, I was reminded that I don’t want my children to grow up and always remember Mom on the computer. I’m trying to make prayerful decisions. Thanks so much for sharing your heart, and as long as you’re here, I’m not going anywhere. I’m so inspired by your blog!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Planning for A Joy-Filled 2010: Priorities =-.
As I was reading your post I was thinking about Titus 2. While I consider your blog to be informative and enjoyable and professional, I think that for moms like us (I have two young boys) the best thing is to be listening and learning from older, wiser women. (Incidentally, I have found it extremely difficult to even find people like this sometimes–all you mature women out there, please step forward, you’re in demand!.) Sometimes it gets so tempting to try something new or jump into an unnecessary project, I know exactly how you feel. But you will find wonderful freedom in doing fewer “outside” things in order to do more with your family.
You will probably still get that “restless” feeling once in a while (I know I do!) that makes you want to go take a class or learn a new language or start a business or Something! I have found the best way to deal with this temptation is to give myself a project centered on God’s Word. Either memorization or a simple study, it helps to channel some of that energy. And the more saturated you are with God’s Word the better you will be able to serve your family.
We do compare, we women, don’t we? You and I are certainly alike in that (worrying about stats…), and I noticed that this was published at 3:00 a.m. Was it really? People ask me “How I do it all?” and I always say with an eye-roll and the internal knowledge that it’s hurting my family, “I don’t sleep.” And yet – here I am, reading through the #savvyblogging thread and clicking on articles before I write my own! Hmph. I do so enjoy this online thing, but it is an awfully difficult balance. I don’t think there are ANY mom-bloggers who are super successful and are happy with the balance. If they are, they certainly aren’t homeschooling YOUNG children. Let’s keep each other accountable on this and stop working so hard at the screen (or even the kitchen counter) until we’ve thought of our children’s best interests. I’m hoping reading this post is a(nother) turning point to convince me of my own words. I’m guessing my kids would draw me at the computer, too, unfortunately, and I’m saddened by that as you were.
(Just stick around on Twitter, okay, you’re such a joy to converse with!)
:) Katie
.-= Katie @ Kitchen Stewardship´s last blog ..Monday Mission: Decrease Holiday Disposables =-.
Amen, sister. You rock and you are doing the right thing. You are a Pro Mom in my book!
I am so glad to read this from you. I just started a blog with similar dreams as you had (keeping up with my family and logging our journey). Thanks for the earnest and gentle reminder about what truly matters. God bless you and your sweet family!
One of my favorite posts. I have so enjoyed your blog over the last year. I was in the process of learning and making many health changes when I found your site and continue to appreciate your hard work. But, I too, had my 3rd little baby this summer, and each day remind myself of the importance of my role as wife and mom. I’ll keep reading your blog whether is is once a month or once a day. Thanks.
.-= Jodi´s last blog ..Family Of Five =-.
I spent the morning playing Monopoly & reading stories, dared my dh to bake pumpkin muffins (they were so yummy they disappeared in 10 mins!) and not sure what I did with the afternoon besides bathing kiddos, and did puzzles with the dc tonight, listened to ‘daddy’ reading the Tanakh and skyped our eldest dd about her upcoming wedding and ….was wondering why I don’t have more of these wonderful days? These relationships are priceless. You are wise to keep them priority (no matter how old your dc grow).
.-= Karen´s last blog ..This Little Light of Mine =-.
I applaud you for keeping your priorities in order – your post brought tears to my eyes. It’s hard to keep sight of the “best” in the midst of all of the “good” and I commend you for doing so. Bless you Stephanie – your family will be blessed by your decision and you will walk in freedom! I look forward to reading more of your blog when you have the extra time :)
GREAT Chesterton quote… one of my favorite authors…
(((Hugs))) Ive been there. Sometimes we just have to do what is right for us.
Let me just say as the mom of a 12 & 15 yo who spent the last ten years with my face in the computer selling on ebay…you won’t regret your decision. What I regret is not making the very one you’re making. I chose to keep forging ahead to try to make extra money for the family. Money that now just isn’t worth to me what the time lost is. And unfortunately I can’t go back. I have to live with my regrets now. So I just wanted to say from having been there and heard my children say “mom’s on the computer AGAIN”…I’m very proud of you for seeing it before it was too late.
I love the YOU that I have come to know from reading your blog for the past year and a half. I don’t think you have anything to worry about! You are right to put your family first. You and your family will certainly be blessed by doing so.
Stephanie,
What keeps me reading you is not the bells and whistles on your blog (though your blog is lovely!), or the frequency of your posts, or a misguided idea that you have it all together, and my life will be perfect if I do everything just like you. No, what keeps me coming back here is your content, and the heart that comes through your writing. I have learned so much from your blog, and I appreciate that you recognize that you are just a vessel. You are using the knowledge you have been given to help teach and encourage other women, and that is refreshing in the land of blogs. I applaud your putting your family first, and I will pray for you as you try to find more balance in your life.
.-= April L.´s last blog ..Harmony =-.
This is beautiful. Your children will be grateful for this decision. Difficult as it was to come to, you know it’s the right one. It’s wonderful to see someone else struggle with the same insidious problems and come to a similar conclusion. May God bless you.
thank you…you just put into words what my heart needed to hear.
Dear Stephanie ~ I so totally agree with you…God will give you EXACTLY what you need to be a wonderful wife and mother…THAT is your FIRST calling and it doesn’t end when the children are not toddlers anymore…NO…it continues on and even gets more intense and time consuming (really) in the teen years. Set yourself some guidlines and stick to it…keep it all in its proper perspective. God is honoured when we do so…day by day…for HIS GLORY!
May God bless you…
In Him,
Camille
Amen, sister!
You are so right in what you say in this post; thank you so much for it! It’s humble, true, and you will not regret this decision!
As a faithful reader who has learned so much through your blog (and been so encouraged in my walk with the Lord), I want thank you for what you’ve shared here. Regardless of what you decide to do in the future with your blog, what you’ve already written remains to teach, guide, and encourage those who find it. You’ve done so much here – no need to necessarily do more. Family comes first, and I greatly respect your honesty with your readers today and your decision to slow down. We all should do that! :)
Hey Stephanie — I was told my comment was spam, too. Weird, because there was no URL or anything in it. Oh well… Just letting you know. :)
.-= Tsh´s last blog ..Big Trips with Little Kids: Yes, it can be done =-.
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