Image by D Sharon Pruitt
I like being in control. There. I've said it!
I've been feeling rather frustrated and out of control this past week. We are currently living in a rental home, where although we maintain the yard in general, our landlords sometimes jump in with maintenance projects that they would like to have done. This can be wonderful, when it comes to trimming the tree in our front yard or pressure washing the house and deck.
However, this week (as it happened last spring as well), they chose to spray our entire lawn with very toxic weed killers, not once, but twice, despite my objections. (I won't get into it, but here is a link to some of the concerns with one of the types of weed killer that was used on our lawn, and these are not dissimilar from the concerns with other brands as well).
I find it really hard to be out of control in an area like this, where our health is concerned. I want to protect my children, my unborn baby, my husband and I, from these awful chemicals. Were it up to me, I would find a natural alternative, or simply deal with the weeds. The more you know about these things, the more they start to really matter and you begin to make your choices much more carefully, rather than simply worrying about having your grass a little greener or more weed free.
And yet, it's not in my hands. I can't do anything about it. God has currently placed us here, in this house, with these landlords, and with this lawn, in His absolute wisdom and sovereignty.
I've been praying this week that He would protect us from the effects of the chemicals, despite it being summer and near impossible to avoid being out on the lawn (though we do stay off of it for as many days as we can stand after they've recently sprayed). The fact of the matter is, He may choose to protect us completely from the toxins, and He may not (though it's one of those things that I would be hard pressed to ever know for sure- the effects of all the toxic chemicals on our body often add up slowly, over time, and very rarely show their effects obviously or immediately).
But regardless, He is still good, and whatever He allows in our lives is for our good and His glory.
It helps me so much to refocus myself on that eternal perspective whenever I start to let my over-anxious, super-analytical, sinful self get all bent out of shape over the current issue of the day (or week, or month). It's not to say that these issues aren't necessarily important (because many of them are), but they can easily become larger in my heart and mind than they should be, when I am not purposefully taking every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ (2 Cor 10:5).
Once again, in the midst of perhaps too much knowledge and a whole lot of potential fear, I can choose hope. Hope that my God is always in control, even when I am not (and what a good thing!). Hope that this life is not all there is, but that my ultimate hope rests in Jesus Christ and His coming kingdom.
Do you also struggle with letting go of your fears and desire to control what your family is exposed to? How do you realign your thoughts to the truth of God's sovereignty and goodness in ALL situations?