Thanks for the question, Lynnette. Well, in a nutshell, my cycle came back almost 5 months ago (since having my baby almost 18 months ago). It has been very off, despite the fact that I am slowly weaning, which helped make it more regular after I had my daughter. It's also still annovulatory, despite using some supplements which helped me last time.
As well, I can feel that my blood sugar is out of whack. I had blood sugar problems during my 2nd pregnancy, and so I know what they feel like now. I can tell that my body just isn't doing well with sugar or even too many grains. It just feels, well, off. Hard to describe. I've also noticed my middle and ring fingers on my left hand quite blue some mornings, a sign of poor circulation, and sometimes related to blood sugar disorders like diabetes (which PCOS puts me at risk for).
Why is it getting worse? I don't honestly know. I've done much to improve my health, but I am less active right now than I have been at many other points over the past 5 or 6 years. Perhaps my body really needs that exercise to balance my blood sugar and hormones? Maybe there are just too many toxins in my body, or my Candida levels are high again. I've been waiting to have a chance between pregnancies and nursing to be able to do a thorough cleanse, which I plan to start next month.
Or maybe it's the fact that I had sooo many years of being extremely unhealthy and rough on my body that I am really reaping the natural outcome of that. Though I can improve things greatly through nutrition and natural living, there are a lot of things that need to be undone, and there may certainly be permanent damage, because of a variety of factors. I have to consider that as an option.
Obviously, these are fairly personal details that are difficult for me to deal with at times. I share them because I want to be open about my struggle with PCOS, and to create a safe place for those who struggle as I do. For me, it's just not worth it to blog if I'm not willing to be transparent and vulnerable with you all. There is so much to be gained by being real with each other, sharing not only our victories and our joys, but also our weaknesses and our disappointments.
I also think it's important to say that although I am pursuing greater health and freedom from this disorder and it's impact on my life, I am also learning more and more to rest in the perfect will of God, trusting in what He allows in my life and that He will work it all out for good and for His glory.
Some days are difficult and I need those around me to challenge me to be patient, to relax, and most of all, to relinquish control over this issue and trust God in it. Most days, I have peace, and that is a gracious gift from His hand. He is so good. All the time. Can I get an amen?