Comments on: Q&A: Phone calls and visits in the midst of a schedule http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html Naturally inspired living for the Christian homemaker Fri, 12 Mar 2010 02:39:05 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Linda http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html/comment-page-1#comment-23264 Linda Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:45:50 +0000 http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html#comment-23264 Thank you for sharing this post with us. I recently wrote about my dilemma with the phone on my blog. You made some great suggestion. I really do enjoy your blog. Thanks again. Linda Thank you for sharing this post with us. I recently wrote about my dilemma with the phone on my blog. You made some great suggestion. I really do enjoy your blog. Thanks again. Linda

]]> By: Chloe http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html/comment-page-1#comment-23263 Chloe Tue, 21 Oct 2008 01:19:14 +0000 http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html#comment-23263 My best friend and I could talk hours on the phone but we have a system of leaving each other messages on our cell phones voice mail and can reply back on the voice mail system. If it's really important, we call each other direct otherwise we can leave questions or prayer requests on the vm and respond back quickly to each other without taking up a lot of time. Please don't think this is cold towards each other. We talk in person alot but this system holds us accountable to not spending time on the phone when we should be taking care of our home. My best friend and I could talk hours on the phone but we have a system of leaving each other messages on our cell phones voice mail and can reply back on the voice mail system. If it's really important, we call each other direct otherwise we can leave questions or prayer requests on the vm and respond back quickly to each other without taking up a lot of time.

Please don't think this is cold towards each other. We talk in person alot but this system holds us accountable to not spending time on the phone when we should be taking care of our home.

]]> By: Nicole http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html/comment-page-1#comment-23262 Nicole Thu, 16 Oct 2008 15:26:32 +0000 http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html#comment-23262 I really wonder how to deal with this problem: my kids calling me now that they are leaving the nest one after the other I really wonder how to deal with this problem: my kids calling me now that they are leaving the nest one after the other

]]> By: Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html/comment-page-1#comment-23261 Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home Thu, 16 Oct 2008 05:12:25 +0000 http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html#comment-23261 Nola, love the idea of using a beeper for computer time! And I hope that you do find some friends with similar interests, or maybe even discover that some friends you already have would be interested in doing things that you might be surprised by. Nola, love the idea of using a beeper for computer time!
And I hope that you do find some friends with similar interests, or maybe even discover that some friends you already have would be interested in doing things that you might be surprised by.

]]> By: Nola http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html/comment-page-1#comment-23260 Nola Thu, 16 Oct 2008 00:40:48 +0000 http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html#comment-23260 Just checked back quickly to see what the other's responses were. In my comment I also mentioned how I thought it was a good idea to limit visits to once a week. What I meant by that was the same as Stephanie- I mean during my work day as a homemaker and mother. We attend 3 church meetings a week most of the time, have social time with others on the weekend or during the evenings as well. I try to limit all the extra visiting (not meaning church meetings) due to my own overwhelmedness to 3 things per week including the time I spend during my work day visiting. I LOVE the idea of getting together with others to do things productive and visit at the same time. I find this extremely lacking in our society. I think it used to be the way things were done more than they are now. Like getting together to do canning. I don't really know people who are interested in that sort of thing. I am going to pray about finding some friends who I could visit with in this way- doing something like baking or cooking or canning together. Most people I know aren't interested or don't eat the same way my family does. I wish that our communities were built more the way they used to be. Most of my friends live far away. Even at my church people drive over an hour from all directions. It does make visiting difficult without a car all the time. I also agree about time online. Its a temptation for sure. I use a timer that beeps when the time is up when I am on the computer and find it really helps. Be careful about talking while driving though. I've seen it so many times where people are swerving/driving too slow etc. while talking. Just checked back quickly to see what the other's responses were. In my comment I also mentioned how I thought it was a good idea to limit visits to once a week. What I meant by that was the same as Stephanie- I mean during my work day as a homemaker and mother. We attend 3 church meetings a week most of the time, have social time with others on the weekend or during the evenings as well. I try to limit all the extra visiting (not meaning church meetings) due to my own overwhelmedness to 3 things per week including the time I spend during my work day visiting. I LOVE the idea of getting together with others to do things productive and visit at the same time. I find this extremely lacking in our society. I think it used to be the way things were done more than they are now. Like getting together to do canning. I don't really know people who are interested in that sort of thing. I am going to pray about finding some friends who I could visit with in this way- doing something like baking or cooking or canning together. Most people I know aren't interested or don't eat the same way my family does. I wish that our communities were built more the way they used to be. Most of my friends live far away. Even at my church people drive over an hour from all directions. It does make visiting difficult without a car all the time.

I also agree about time online. Its a temptation for sure. I use a timer that beeps when the time is up when I am on the computer and find it really helps.

Be careful about talking while driving though. I've seen it so many times where people are swerving/driving too slow etc. while talking.

]]> By: Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html/comment-page-1#comment-23259 Stephanie @ Keeper of the Home Wed, 15 Oct 2008 23:02:55 +0000 http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html#comment-23259 Alisa, that's an interesting comment, about being considered a cold society. I'm sure that would be true, compared to some societies. Unfortunately, our society doesn't lend itself to a lot of personal contact anymore. There aren't really any other young stay-at-home moms in my neighborhood. I don't have a car during the day, and most of my friends live out of walking distance (while pushing a double stroller up hills, that is). For me, there aren't a whole lot of simple visiting options, during the daytime. When I have the opportunity, I really enjoy the rare morning that I can use the car to visit a friend, or the chance to have a friend over for tea. I very much agree about doing practical things with friends. This, I love to do! Last week a friend and I got together to do some sewing while our kids played. The week before, my social time was canning with another friend. It's such a great way to combine doing things we need to do with having wonderful fellowship with another woman. Perhaps there is some confusion, though, about what my social life actually looks like. When I say that I schedule visits only once a week, I am talking about during the week, while my husband is at work. When it comes to the evenings and weekends, we're quite the social family. We regularly have friends over, or go visiting as a family. We attend a church caregroup once a week, I am part of a homeschool support group once a month. We spend time with family whenever we can. We are far from anti-social, just to set the record straight. The reason that I limit my social time during the day is because it is a very full time job, being a mom and homemaker! There's so much to do, and if I spent too much time on the phone or visiting, suddenly my house isn't being cleaned, laundry isn't getting done, and nourishing meals aren't making it to my dinner table. Not to mention, consistent discipline and child training (difficult when around others) and home educating. These are priorities, and I think that it's important for me to stay grounded in the home, rather than making my friendships too great of a priority. Though I highly value them (and I really, really do!), I still find that I need to watch my time commitment if I am to truly keep my family first. As for computer time, I think most of us would agree that it is too easy to waste time on the computer. I find it a temptation, and have to limit myself in that area. Though I love blog reading, I just can't do it very often, as it's too easy to get caught up in it. I read when I can, what I can, and forget the rest. I avoid social networking like the plague, because it is such a time stealer (in my humble opinion). Phew... my response is equally long! Thanks for bringing up some great aspects of this conversation, Alisa! :) Alisa, that's an interesting comment, about being considered a cold society. I'm sure that would be true, compared to some societies. Unfortunately, our society doesn't lend itself to a lot of personal contact anymore. There aren't really any other young stay-at-home moms in my neighborhood. I don't have a car during the day, and most of my friends live out of walking distance (while pushing a double stroller up hills, that is). For me, there aren't a whole lot of simple visiting options, during the daytime. When I have the opportunity, I really enjoy the rare morning that I can use the car to visit a friend, or the chance to have a friend over for tea.

I very much agree about doing practical things with friends. This, I love to do! Last week a friend and I got together to do some sewing while our kids played. The week before, my social time was canning with another friend. It's such a great way to combine doing things we need to do with having wonderful fellowship with another woman.

Perhaps there is some confusion, though, about what my social life actually looks like. When I say that I schedule visits only once a week, I am talking about during the week, while my husband is at work. When it comes to the evenings and weekends, we're quite the social family. We regularly have friends over, or go visiting as a family. We attend a church caregroup once a week, I am part of a homeschool support group once a month. We spend time with family whenever we can. We are far from anti-social, just to set the record straight.

The reason that I limit my social time during the day is because it is a very full time job, being a mom and homemaker! There's so much to do, and if I spent too much time on the phone or visiting, suddenly my house isn't being cleaned, laundry isn't getting done, and nourishing meals aren't making it to my dinner table. Not to mention, consistent discipline and child training (difficult when around others) and home educating. These are priorities, and I think that it's important for me to stay grounded in the home, rather than making my friendships too great of a priority. Though I highly value them (and I really, really do!), I still find that I need to watch my time commitment if I am to truly keep my family first.

As for computer time, I think most of us would agree that it is too easy to waste time on the computer. I find it a temptation, and have to limit myself in that area. Though I love blog reading, I just can't do it very often, as it's too easy to get caught up in it. I read when I can, what I can, and forget the rest. I avoid social networking like the plague, because it is such a time stealer (in my humble opinion).

Phew... my response is equally long! Thanks for bringing up some great aspects of this conversation, Alisa! :)

]]> By: Alisa http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html/comment-page-1#comment-23258 Alisa Wed, 15 Oct 2008 21:51:39 +0000 http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html#comment-23258 In other societies we would be considered very 'cold' people. Visiting only one day a week? They would think that ridiculous in, say, Brazil (where I spent three months after high school.) There they literally live in eachothers' yards of course. We were created to be social people, especially women. I think that we need to focus not on how to limit visiting, but on how to make it more productive. Try canning with a friend. Or baking with a friend. I have heard of women getting together to make freezer meals together. I mean how good is that? Spending the whole day together and having 10 meals in the freezer at the end of the day. I've made salsa with friends. My husband and I make veggie packs with friends of ours every year. (We do this in the evening when our kids are sleeping.) My s-i-l and I get together and sew (we plan to make our kids pj's next time.) Visiting is a good thing...not every day, all day, but here and there and spontaneously too. Especially when you are at home with only your younger children it is a good thing to touch base on a regular basis with another adult. It can keep you sane. I have found that when I have a morning with another mom I can encourage and be encouraged. We can discuss how to be better mothers and wives and how to live out our faith. I encourage you not to be a slave to your 'schedule' but be willing to change it for another person. And one more thing... a warning from someone who has learned the hard way. Don't waste time on your computer. What is happening in our society right now is that people are being fulfilled by their 'virtual lives' instead of building real, personal relationships with those around them. Visiting with a real friend and sister in Christ (or a neighbor who really needs to know Christ) is much better use of your time then surfing the internet and building up readership on your own blog. (This is not a smash on you Stephanie, we all just need our limits - I had to quit my blog because it simply took too much time. I have a few blogs I read and for the rest I just leave it be.) Ooops, I just previewed this post and it is looong. In other societies we would be considered very 'cold' people. Visiting only one day a week? They would think that ridiculous in, say, Brazil (where I spent three months after high school.) There they literally live in eachothers' yards of course. We were created to be social people, especially women. I think that we need to focus not on how to limit visiting, but on how to make it more productive. Try canning with a friend. Or baking with a friend. I have heard of women getting together to make freezer meals together. I mean how good is that? Spending the whole day together and having 10 meals in the freezer at the end of the day. I've made salsa with friends. My husband and I make veggie packs with friends of ours every year. (We do this in the evening when our kids are sleeping.) My s-i-l and I get together and sew (we plan to make our kids pj's next time.) Visiting is a good thing...not every day, all day, but here and there and spontaneously too. Especially when you are at home with only your younger children it is a good thing to touch base on a regular basis with another adult. It can keep you sane. I have found that when I have a morning with another mom I can encourage and be encouraged. We can discuss how to be better mothers and wives and how to live out our faith. I encourage you not to be a slave to your 'schedule' but be willing to change it for another person.

And one more thing... a warning from someone who has learned the hard way. Don't waste time on your computer. What is happening in our society right now is that people are being fulfilled by their 'virtual lives' instead of building real, personal relationships with those around them. Visiting with a real friend and sister in Christ (or a neighbor who really needs to know Christ) is much better use of your time then surfing the internet and building up readership on your own blog. (This is not a smash on you Stephanie, we all just need our limits - I had to quit my blog because it simply took too much time. I have a few blogs I read and for the rest I just leave it be.)

Ooops, I just previewed this post and it is looong.

]]> By: Org Junkie http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html/comment-page-1#comment-23257 Org Junkie Wed, 15 Oct 2008 20:56:42 +0000 http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html#comment-23257 I hate talking on the phone and utilize call display all the time. I don't get a lot of calls anymore because most people know I won't bother answering the phone :) You've shared some great tips here, I use almost all of them myself and they really help! I hate talking on the phone and utilize call display all the time. I don't get a lot of calls anymore because most people know I won't bother answering the phone :)

You've shared some great tips here, I use almost all of them myself and they really help!

]]> By: Debra http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html/comment-page-1#comment-23256 Debra Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:28:47 +0000 http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html#comment-23256 Thanks for a great question and answer! It was certainly good for me to read. I feel like I have problems with interruptions, too. One thing that's hard is for others to realize that even though you are home all day it's still your job. No one would even think of trying to keep you on the phone at an office. So for me, the best (& hardest thing) is to set a time and cut it off at that time. Debra Thanks for a great question and answer! It was certainly good for me to read. I feel like I have problems with interruptions, too. One thing that's hard is for others to realize that even though you are home all day it's still your job. No one would even think of trying to keep you on the phone at an office. So for me, the best (& hardest thing) is to set a time and cut it off at that time.
Debra

]]> By: Laura V. http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html/comment-page-1#comment-23255 Laura V. Wed, 15 Oct 2008 18:55:16 +0000 http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2008/10/qa-fitting-phone-calls-into-a-schedule.html#comment-23255 Like, Alison, I too, tend to make my family and long distance friend phone calls (parents, siblings, best friend, etc.) while I am driving. I try to use a headset, but don't always remember. My kids are generally more well behaved in the van when I'm on the phone than they are at home when I'm on the phone. I always save my important phone calls - you know, the ones where you actually NEED your brain -(ie. medical, scheduling appts., etc.) for when the older 2 are napping since the baby isn't much of a disruption! Like, Alison, I too, tend to make my family and long distance friend phone calls (parents, siblings, best friend, etc.) while I am driving. I try to use a headset, but don't always remember. My kids are generally more well behaved in the van when I'm on the phone than they are at home when I'm on the phone.

I always save my important phone calls - you know, the ones where you actually NEED your brain -(ie. medical, scheduling appts., etc.) for when the older 2 are napping since the baby isn't much of a disruption!

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